Shattered and Shattered Again
by Nanie-san
Summary: Loving Eriol without love in return breaks Tomoyo. Eriol's only beginning to realize his feelings for her, and by the time he does shalt it be to late? Tomoyo's falling and fading faster as each day passes. [Ch 25 up!] Please read, Arigato!
1. Love

**Shattered and Shattered Again**

**Summary:** Tomoyo likes Eriol a ton, but Eriol only sees Tomoyo as a friend. Eriol is having trouble finding and keeping a girlfriend, and Syaoran and Sakura are doing great together.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own CCS... But I wish that I did... Please, I beg you don''t tell Mr. Police Officer or sue me, I''m poor...

**A/N:** Well, I''ve survived the Disclaimer, now all I gotta do is survive the story. I hope that you enjoy it! Please R&R.

(Also, this is my first fanfic, so please take it easy on me...)

**Introduction**

What if you like someone? What if they only like you as a friend? What if they tell you about the other girls that they like? You force yourself to look happy while your heart shatters, but nothing is gained from it. What if they never realize your pain?

**Chapter 1:** Love

"Eriol-kun!" shouted Tomoyo running towards the dark-blue haired boy.

"Hello Tomoyo. How are you today?" responded Eriol. "Hey, do you think I could have your opinion on something? Great! There is this girl that I like, but I'm not sure how to ask her out, you see, unlike all the other girls that I've dated she is very reserved and I don't think just walking up and asking her on a date would be very smart... Do you have any ideas?"

Tomoyo felt her heart breaking into pieces... She liked Eriol very much, but he only thought of her as a friend and never anything more... He was always telling her of his latest girlfriend and where he planned to take her and what he wanted to do for her... None of the girls he dated lasted more than six months, Eriol would treat them like royalty and then later they would get bored of him and dump him... Tomoyo quickly put a fake smile on her face and responded, "This girl that your talking about is Sarrin, right? Give me some time to think... How about you call me around six o'clock tonight and I'll tell you what I've thought of, okay?"

"Sure, thanks a trillion Tomoyo," Eriol said and then walked away towards his mansion. Most of the girls that dated Eriol only dated him because they wanted what he could get for them since he was rich... Tomoyo wanted to date him because she liked him, not his wealth, and as she watched him walk away she started to cry. Silent, hot tears streamed down her face as she walked towards her house. Once she got there she threw her back-pack and purse on the floor and ran upstairs into her own private bathroom that was connected to her room and started to quickly undress. She then turned on the hot water and filled the tub close to the top and then got in. Now she let herself truly cry, not caring how loud she was since her mother was still at work, and her bodyguards and all the servants had the day off. "Stupid Sarrin! Why do you have to be so cute as for Eriol-kun to like you!" Tomoyo screamed. She knew that it was no fault of Sarrin's that Eriol liked her, but she couldn't stop feeling anger towards Sarrin, especially now that she had to help Eriol-kun find a good way to ask her out.

About thirty minutes later Tomoyo got out of the tub and redressed herself. She then got out the hair-dryer and dried her hair and started to think of what she was going to tell Eriol. "Maybe he could write her a note and put it in her locker. Or maybe he could give her his phone number and ask her to call him. Perhaps I should tell him just to give up on her... but he really likes her and that would break his heart."

An hour and a half later Tomoyo's phone rang. "Moshi moshi," Tomoyo said into the phone.

"Hi, it's Eriol here," Eriol said from the other end. "So, do you have any good ideas yet?"

"Well, I've been thinking about it ever since I got home today. You could give her your phone number and ask her to call you. If she hates you she won't call, but if there is a chance between you she will call and then you can ask her. Or, you could just leave a note in her locker, but I doubt that directly asking her would work," Tomoyo responded. She felt her heart pounding in her chest. She wanted Eriol to notice her, not Sarrin and yet here she was trying to get Sarrin and Eriol hooked up together.

"Wow Tomoyo, thanks a ton! I'll think about which of those I'll use, and thanks again. Ja ne."

"J-," Tomoyo's so long was cut off as Eriol hung up the phone. Tomoyo sighed, he didn't even stay on the phone long enough for her to say ja ne. Did he only think of her as his love consultant now? Tomoyo felt tears coming to her eyes. Soon she was silently crying again and the hot tears rolled down her face and fell onto her shirt... fell, like the rain outside.

Downstairs a door opened and a voice called out, "Tomoyo, I'm home! Supper will be ready shortly."

Tomoyo flung herself onto her bed and cried into her pillow, not bothering to answer her mother's greeting.

**A/N:** Well, how did you like the story so far. Please review and tell me how you like the story thus far! I hope to get at least two reviews before updating again... but if I only get one I''ll still update. If I get none I guess that I could update, but please someone review... Domo Arigato and Ja Ne!


	2. Problems Begin

**Summary:** Tomoyo likes Eriol a ton, but Eriol only sees Tomoyo as a friend. Eriol is having trouble finding and keeping a girlfriend, and Syaoran and Sakura are doing great together.

**Disclaimer:** I. Do. Not. Own. CCS. (But hey, I own the plot of this CCS fanfic, not that that really counts for much but... I also own Takota, which counts for a lot!)

**A/N:** Hi, sorry that my last chapter was so short. I didn't realize that it would be that long, so I made this chapter longer and I hope that it''s a good length. Please R&R and give me some suggestions of what you wanna see in this. Also, thank you to first reviewer for chapter 1, fire-onnagoddess! You''re the best! And also thank you to Gracie-sama and Haru-chan, my second and third reviewers!

_Previously:_

Tomoyo felt tears coming to her eyes. Soon she was silently crying again and the hot tears rolled down her face and fell onto her shirt... fell, like the rain outside.

Downstairs a door opened and a voice called out, "Tomoyo, I'm home! Supper will be ready shortly."

Tomoyo flung herself onto her bed and cried into her pillow, not bothering to answer her mother's greeting.

Chapter 2: Problems Begin

Eriol was thinking about what Tomoyo said, and having a hard time deciding what to do. He could give her his phone number, or leave a note in her locker. "Darned it! This is so darned hard. Well, for Sarrin-chan I guess that I could calm down... I guess I'll do a combination of the two, I will leave a note in her locker that has my phone number! Yes! That's what I'll do!"

So Eriol then started to write his note and by Monday he had completed it. The finished note looked like this:

_Sarrin-chan,_

_Hi, I really like you and would like to know if you would like to go on a date with me on Saturday around 12:00. They are playing a new movie at the theater if you would like to go, and I could take you to lunch afterwards, if you want to, please call me. My phone number is 529-3887._

_Eriol_

"Well, I guess that this will have to do," Eriol thought to himself as he slid the note through the vents in Sarrin's locker.

Tomoyo watched as Eriol slid the note through the vents in locker number 85, Sarrin's locker. She knew that in ten minutes all the students would arrive for school, then Sarrin would see the note. For Eriol's sake she wished that Sarrin would respond to his letter and say _yes_, but for her sake, she hoped that Sarrin wouldn't reply or would say _no_. She didn't want to see Sarrin open her locker and find the note, so after Eriol had walked away she got her books from her locker and ran to the cafeteria to wait for everyone else to start arriving. Now she started to think of Eriol and Sarrin together. The picture wasn't that great, Eriol and Sarrin just didn't seem like one of those matches made in Heaven. With all of her heart Tomoyo hoped that if Eriol decided to like someone else that the girl he liked would truly love him and that together they would seem like a match made in Heaven. But seeing Eriol's recent girlfriend problems the chances of this were slim to none.

About ten minutes later Syaoran walked into the cafeteria, followed by a sleepy Sakura.

"Wow... Syaoran-kun, how did you get Sakura-chan out of bed this early and to school on time?" Tomoyo asked, clearly surprised at seeing Sakura awake and ready at this time in the morning.

"Stupid Toya got me up by dumping cold water over me at 5:00 a.m. this morning!" Sakura screamed. "And then Syaoran-kun came over around 6:00 and by then I was already for school," Sakura said in a quiet voice.

"Toya-kun got you up huh. I'll have to ask him to start getting you up on Saturdays that I wanna have daylight time to hang out with you at," Tomoyo responded, no longer feeling the previous sadness that she had felt. It was strange, but when she was hanging out with Li and Sakura she didn't feel sad about Eriol not liking her unless someone brought up Eriol's latest girlfriend, but even then she didn't feel as bad as she did when she was alone, talk about the power of friendship! Just then Sarrin walked in looking more than a bit confused.

"Wonder what happened to her," Sakura said. "Usually she looks calm."

"She stayed calm even when you accidently spilled nitric acid in the lab and when you shattered six test tubes full of hydrochloric acid, iodine, sulfur and lighter fluid," Syaoran said while looking over at Sarrin, who really did look a bit confused and shaken up.

"She stayed calm when Sakura-chan caught her lab materials on fire too," Tomoyo added. She then looked over at Sakura who looked not so happy about them mentioning her mistakes in the chemestry lab. "You know Sakura-chan, you're really lucky that Syaoran-kun is your lab partner and very forgiving, and that you don't have someone else who isn't so patient or forgiving."

Sakura, who was just a slight bit embarrassed now, just looked at the floor. And then noticed Sarrin walking towards Syaoran, Tomoyo and herself.

"Hi, I'm really sorry to bother you, but you three know Eriol the best so I was wondering if you could help explain this," Sarrin said while handing the note to them. Sakura grabbed the note and read it with Syaoran and Tomoyo reading over her shoulder.

Sakura looked up at Sarrin and said, "Eriol-kun wants to know if you would like to go out with him. That's what it means."

"But I don't want to go out with him," Sarrin responded. Once she said that Tomoyo looked relieved, but nobody noticed her look of relief, luckily for her.

"Well, you could get your revenge on Eriol if you really wanted," Syaoran said in a mischievous tone of voice. "It won't be too mean, we'll just embarrass him a little bit and see if he is still willing to go out with you afterwards."

Sarrin nodded her head in agreement and then the group started whispering and plotting to make Syaoran's plan better.

In the classroom everyone sat down to hear announcements, but Tomoyo, Sakura, Sarrin and Syaoran could hardly sit still and kept sneaking glances at the loudspeaker and Eriol, who seemed to be daydreaming about something.

Eriol was just daydreaming when he heard this on the announcements, which were played over loudspeaker, when he heard this:

_Sarrin-chan,_

_Hi, I really like you and would like to know if you would like to go on a date with me on Saturday around 12:00. They are playing a new movie at the theater if you would like to go, and I could take you to lunch afterwards, if you want to, please call me. My phone number is 529-3887._

_Eriol_

Everyone in the room, and the rest of the school for that matter, started to laugh, except for a very embarrassed Eriol who looked like he wanted to die right then. Sarrin then walked over to Eriol and in a very calm and controlled voice said, "I am very sorry Eriol-kun, but I decline." And she then walked away with her head held high. Everyone in the class was still looking at and laughing at Eriol. Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and Sarrin laughed the hardest.

"Who knew that Sarrin-chan could be so fun to hang out with," Sakura said while laughing in between her words.

"Who knew that Eriol could look so red," Syaoran responded and everyone that heard started to laugh even harder. Presently Eriol's face was getting redder and redder.

"Yeah, I thought that you were a really silent and shy girl Sarrin," Tomoyo then said, controlling her laughter long enough to speak.

"Well, I am only so shy in school I guess," Sarrin responded. Eriol finally got to the final stage of redness and jumped up out of his seat and furiously stomped over to Tomoyo, Syaoran, Sakura and Sarrin. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT ISN'T IT! YOU ALL PLANNED THIS DIDN'T YOU!" he screamed loudly enough for the rest of the school to hear.

"I'm sorry Eriol-kun," Tomoyo said in a small voice, for she was truly sorry, but Eriol paid no heed.

"YOU ALL CLAIMED TO BE MY FRIENDS AND NOW THIS!" Eriol shouted directly at Tomoyo.

"Hey, calm down man! She said she was sorry, so don't yell at her! Maybe if you could see past the front of you nose you would see the heck that you always put her through time over time again! It's a real wonder that she hadn't done something before now!" shouted out a boy named Takota, who so happened to be Naoko's boyfriend.

Syaoran, Sakura, Sarrin and Tomoyo's friends all understood what Takota had said, they had all seen Tomoyo's hurt and tears after she left Eriol, but everyone else didn't ever notice, so they were a bit confused. Takota knew that Tomoyo wouldn't be happy if he mentioned her liking Eriol so he finished by saying, "You idiot, you keep going to Tomoyo for your love problems, but she herself still doesn't have a boyfriend, unlike everyone else! Don't you think that that makes her sad, that everyone has a boy or girlfriend but her, and you only remind her of this fact each time you go to tell her you next love problem! Heck, unlike everyone else here, you can only keep a girlfriend for a month!" After he had said all of this Takota calmly sat down is his seat.

"Besides Eriol, this wasn't her fault, it was mine," Syaoran said.

"And mine too," Sakura added.

"And also mine," Sarrin finished. "So, you have no right to be mad at Tomoyo."

Tomoyo then walked over and stood in front of Eriol. "It was also my fault, Eriol I will help you with all of your problems and you know that. I am not sad or anything like that about not having a boyfriend. Thank you Takota, but I really don't mind, I don't even want a boyfriend," Tomoyo said while putting on a fake smile that looked real. "How about we all forget about today from now on. Nobody is to ever mention what happened here today. Got it? Now pass it on so that the whole school knows. And also, pass it on that nobody is to call Eriol or else he will change his phone number."

And, after about a week, nobody even remembered what had happened, well they did remember, but it was just one of those things that came to pass in a short amount of time. Soon everything was all back to normal, including Eriol running to Tomoyo over love problems and Tomoyo going home and crying until her mother got home and then she would wash her face and pretent that she wasn't crying. All of her friends wanted to talk to Tomoyo about her liking towards Eriol, but they all knew that if they did she might get mad, so they left it alone.

Around 9:00 p.m. the phone rang at Tomoyo's house. "Moshi moshi," Tomoyo answered when she picked up the phone.

"Hey Tomoyo, I need to talk to you, will you walk to school with me tomorrow?" Eriol asked. "My house is closer to the school than your's, so you can meet me at my house in the morning."

"Okay," Tomoyo answered and then hung up. "Way cool, I get to go to Eriol's house tomorrow and walk to school with him!" Tomoyo thought with hearts and stars in her eyes. All of a sudden Tomoyo felt that rush of adrenalin that you feel when something really great happens and she felt like she couldn't fall asleep even if her life hung in the balance. "Oh no, we've got a dress down day tomorrow so we don't have to wear uniform! Okay, now I've gotta find the perfect outfit to wear tomorrow," Tomoyo thought while opening her closet. About an hour later she finally decided on a tight, white tank-top with a pink sweater-coat over it, a pair of black jeans and pink shoes.

The next morning Tomoyo got up at 6:45 and screamed, "Oh no, I am gonna be late for meeting Eriol." Tomoyo then quickly got her outfit on. She then looked at her reflection in the mirror and then decided that to do her hair up in a bun and leave a small amount of hair hanging down on each side of her face. It was then around seven o'clock, so she then left for Eriol's house and rang the doorbell when she got there. Nakuru opened the door and greeted her, "Hi Tomoyo-chan, I'll call Eriol-kun to wake up and come down here. Would you like to join us for breakfast?"

"Umm, sure," Tomoyo said since she didn't have time to eat breakfast at her house. Nakuru led her to the table and then walked to the stairs and shouted, "Eriol-kun it's time to get up! Otherwise you're gonna be super late for school!" Eriol then came bolting down the stairs, completely forgetting that he had wanted Tomoyo to walk to school with him. Tomoyo started to laugh when she saw that he was wearing-

**A/N: **Well, I hope that you liked this chapter, please R&R. I hope to get at least 1 review before updating. Please give me any suggestions that I can use to make this story better. And you''ll see what Eriol is wearing in the next chapter. Ja ne and saynora. P.S. Please tell me if you like the bit of humor that I threw in... I didn''t want the story to be too sad so...


	3. More problems and fainting

**Summary: **Tomoyo likes Eriol a ton, but Eriol only sees Tomoyo as a friend. Eriol is having trouble finding and keeping a girlfriend, and Syaoran and Sakura are doing great together

**Disclaimer: **I don't own CCS (but I wish I did), a group of four manga-ka called Clamp do though...I also don't own Bob the Builder... (But I am proud to say that I do own this fic's plot, Sarrin, Takota, and Kanisa)

**A/N:** Hi, I'd like to thank all of my reviewers (fire-onnagoddess, Haru-chan and Gracie-sama) and I'd like to thank everyone who has added me to their favorite authors and favorite stories lists and author alert watches. Please read and **review**. And Haru-chan, I will start giving the translations to the Japanese words that I use. (By the way, Tomoyo and the group are all 15 in this story)

**Japanese words:**

Moshi moshi hello(used when answering the phone)

Ja ne so long

Baka idiot

_Previously:_

_Nakuru opened the door and greeted her, "Hi Tomoyo-chan, I'll call Eriol-kun to wake up and come down here. Would you like to join us for breakfast?"_

"_Umm, sure," Tomoyo said since she didn't have time to eat breakfast at her house. Nakuru led her to the table and then walked to the stairs and shouted, "Eriol-kun it's time to get up! Otherwise you're gonna be super late for school!" Eriol then came bolting down the stairs, completely forgetting that he had wanted Tomoyo to walk to school with him. Tomoyo started to laugh when she saw that he was wearing-_

**Chapter 3:** More problems and fainting

Eriol then came bolting down the stairs, completely forgetting that he had wanted Tomoyo to walk to school with him. Tomoyo started to laugh when she saw that he was wearing Bob the Builder pajamas. Eriol then realized that he had wanted to talk with Tomoyo, that he had invited her to walk to school with him, and that he was wearing Bob the Builder pajamas. After realizing the latter he quickly ran back up the stairs blushing furiously.

A little bit later Eriol came back down, still blushing, wearing baggy blue pants with a black shirt.

"Ahh, so how was your sleep Eriol-kun?" Nakuru playfully asked.

"Just fine," Eriol answered. "But this morning was quite a shock. How could I ever forget that I needed to talk to Tomoyo today? Why did I run down the stairs in my Bob the Builder pajamas? Nakuru is never gonna let me hear the end of this..." Eriol thought to himself while still feeling a tad bit embarrassed about his pajamas that he had worn down about five minutes earlier.

After they all ate breakfast Eriol and Tomoyo started the walk to school. "Umm, Tomoyo-chan can I please talk to you about my problem now?" Eriol asked.

"Sure, whatever sort of problem this is I will do my best to help you," Tomoyo responded while starting to feel her heart beat louder.

"Okay, there is another girl I like now that's way better than Sarrin, but she's an older girl and older girls don't like younger boys. What should I do?"

Tomoyo felt her heart breaking. She didn't want to see Eriol with another girl, less than an older girl. "Who is this older girl Eriol-kun? What's her name?" Tomoyo asked.

"Her name is Kanisa and she is really sweet. She is two grades older than us."

Tomoyo looked at Eriol as he answered her questions. He looked so cute, his eyes were filled with hearts... hearts for another girl and not herself. She felt tears coming to her eyes, but Eriol didn't notice, he was too busy dreaming about Kanisa. Tomoyo's sight started to blur and she felt dizzy. All she wanted was Eriol to notice her and love her, yet all he ever did was fall for other girls. Before she knew it she had tripped and fallen onto the ground. She felt the cold sidewalk cement against her face and closed her eyes. She heard Eriol screaming her name loudly, and then no more.

Tomoyo awoke to find that she was in the nurse's office and all of her friends were surrounding her, except Eriol. He was over talking to the nurse.

"She's awake!" Sakura shouted.

"Are you all right, Tomoyo? Eriol-kun said that you fainted on the way to school, that one moment you were fine and talking with him and the next moment you had tripped and fainted after hitting the ground," said Rika.

"I'm fine, I'm sorry to have worried all of you. I didn't mean to cause so much trouble. I guess that I just didn't get enough sleep last night and wasn't concentrating and tripped and fainted after my head hit the ground, but there is no need to worry about me so much. You should go back to class and study, I'll be fine," Tomoyo said.

"But, but, but... I c-c-can't help b-b-but worry about you Tomoyo-chan. Y-y-you've could've been seriously hurt," said a deeply depressed crying Sakura.

"I'm not hurt so everything is alright, besides Eriol-kun was with me so I wasn't really in any major danger," Tomoyo said while trying to comfort Sakura.

Soon after everybody returned back to class leaving Tomoyo alone with the nurse. Tomoyo turned away from the nurse and let silent tears fall then. She wished with all of her heart and all of her soul that Eriol would come to love her, rather than love others and come to her for help. About a half hour later after Tomoyo had quit crying and woken up from a ten minute nap the nurse asked Tomoyo if she felt like she could return to class, or if she would like to go home for the day. Tomoyo decided to return to class. Chemestry was her next class, and as she got close to the room she heard screams and shouts and something that sounded like baka Sakura-chan. As soon as she walked into the room she saw what all of the ruckuses was all about. Sakura had accidently spilled the lighter fluid that they were using in an experiment all over the floor of the left side or the room and when one of the students had jumped back in shock he had knocked over a bunsen burner which had thus hence caused the lefthand side of the room to catch fire.

"Oh, hi Tomoyo," said Sarrin, who seemed to be one of the only people in the room that were calm other than Syaoran who was currently trying to calm down Sakura who was crying and insulting herself.

Later that day after school Tomoyo walked over to Eriol and asked, "Are you ready for me to help you with your problems?"

"Sure, if you fell up to it," Eriol responded.

Tomoyo saw the concern in his eyes, the concern that was directed towards her, and she instantly became happy. "Yes, I'm fine. I've thought it over through the day and I think that you should give her a box of chocolates or necklace and then tell her that you like her and ask what she thinks of you."

"Alright, I'll do that! Thanks Tomoyo, you're the best!" Eriol said, and then he ran off in the direction of the candy shop.

Tomoyo smiled, she liked to see him so happy, and he had said that she was the best. But it still pulled at her heart, she may be the best, but it wasn't her that he liked. When would he like her? When would it be her turn? How long would she have to wait? Would he ever love her? She felt tears forming in her eyes again and pushed them back. She couldn't cry now, she just couldn't.

"Tomoyo-chan, my dear daughter, are you all right? I heard that you fainted on the way to school today and I became so worried and came home as soon as I could so that I could see you. The nurse said that you felt like staying at school," said Sonomi, Tomoyo's mother, as Tomoyo walked through the door and while hugging Tomoyo close and tight.

"Yes mother, I'm fine. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. I would've walked home, but I promised Eriol-kun that I would talk to him and it was something that I didn't want to put off until later or tomorrow."

Sonomi hugged her daughter tighter, she could feel pain in Tomoyo's voice, something was making her daughter sad. She would wait until Tomoyo told her what it was, however long that may be.

Tomoyo put on her pajamas and climbed into bed. She had skipped supper that night and told her mother that she still wasn't feeling very well and she would eat a bigger breakfast tomorrow to makeup for missing supper.

It was morning and Tomoyo looked out of her window, she saw Eriol. Before she knew it she had ran out of the door in her pajamas, and was trying to catch-up to him. The streets were crowed and he didn't notice her, she screamed his name, but he didn't hear over the noise of the crowd. She kept getting glimpses of him and then the crowd would block her view. It seemed as if everyone didn't even notice her, even though she was screaming for Eriol. The crowd parted momentarily and she caught another glimpse of him and she ran faster, pushing, ducking, forcing her way through the crowd to get to him. She had an opening and she jumped towards him with her arms outstretched.

And then Tomoyo hit the floor hardly with her blankets tangled around her. She then realized the reality of it all. It was just a dream, the only reality was her broken heart, sore body and the blood running down her arm from a cut just below her right shoulder that she had cut when she had leapt out of bed and hit something or another on the way down. And that Eriol would be with Kanisa, not alone. She looked at the clock on her night stand, it read 1:00. She looked at her arm, illuminated by the moonlight, and the blood that was steadly running down it. She cried. Sonomi ran in and quickly ran over to the bathroom and got a first-aid kit out of it and quickly cleaned Tomoyo's injury and then wrapped some bandage around it and hugged her daughter. Tomoyo cried for about another half hour and then fell asleep. Sonomi lifted Tomoyo into bed and then placed the covers over her and went back to her room.

The next morning Tomoyo got up to the beeping of her alarm clock and slammed her fist down on the off button. She dragged herself out of bed. Her body hurt from her fall last night but at the time she didn't care. She looked at her calender that hung on the wall above her night stand, Tuesday, it was marked Tuesday, and below that she had written that it was another dress down day. Tomoyo pulled on a blue shirt with an oriental design, a pair of white jeans and blue socks. She then put on white lace-up shoes and went downstairs to breakfast.

**A/N:** Hi, how did you like the chapter? Well, it's 11:25 p.m., so I'm gonna quit typing for tonight and go to bed. Please, please, please, I beg of you, please review and tell me any of you comments, questions and/or suggestions. Please, I really want reviews, I accept all reviews, even if they aren't signed, even if they just say something like update soon, just please review and tell me how you like it! Well, ja ne and saynora!


	4. New girl, new problems

**Summary:** Tomoyo likes Eriol a ton, but Eriol only sees Tomoyo as a friend. Eriol is having trouble finding and keeping a girlfriend, and Syaoran and Sakura are doing great together

**Disclaimer:** FINE! Alright, I'll admit it, I Don't Own CCS! But I **DO** own this fic...

**A/N:** Ohayo minnasan! Domo Arigato for reading this far, I hope that you like this chapter and the story thus far. Please **read** and **review**. Also, I do plan to use some, but not a lot, of Japanese words in my fic, if anyone thinks that I should use more or less, please just tell me in the review, I won't take offense to it.

**Japanese Words:** Ohayo- good morningDomo Arigato- thank you

Minnasan- everyoneNi-san- (older)brother

Sensei- teacher Odango- a Japanese hair style similar to a bun that is basically a knot and leaves hair fall down behind it.

_Previously:_

_The next morning Tomoyo got up to the beeping of her alarm clock and slammed her fist down on the off button. She dragged herself out of bed. Her body hurt from her fall last night but at the time she didn't care. She looked at her calender that hung on the wall above her night stand, Tuesday, it was marked Tuesday, and below that she had written that it was another dress down day. Tomoyo pulled on a blue shirt with an oriental design, a pair of white jeans and blue socks. She then put on white lace-up shoes and went downstairs to breakfast._

**Chapter 4: **New girl, new problems

Eriol joined Tomoyo as she was walking to school and soon so did Syaoran and then even Sakura.

"Wow, you're up early Sakura-chan, usually you sleep in and just barely make it to school on time," Tomoyo said.

"Argg... Ni-san got me up again this morning, only this time instead of dumping ice cold water over me, he stole all of the covers and turned on the air-conditioner. I was practically a living, breathing ice cube," grumbled Sakura, but she cheered up instantly as she said, "But when Syaoran-kun came over he took me to get hot chocolate before we came to join you."

Tomoyo looked at how happy Sakura was. Would she too someday have a boyfriend and be happy like that too? Sakura was lucky that she had Li, she was very lucky...

At school, after they had all gotten their books and attendance was taken, Tedera-sensei walked over to the door and opened it and led in a girl with long black hair that was pulled up in two odangos, one on each side of her head, with the remaining hair falling down to her waist. She had a hot pink ribbon around each odango, and she was wearing a black long sleeved shirt with a hot pink t-shirt over top of it, a pair of black pants, black socks and hot pink sneakers with black laces.

"Class, we have a new student today, her name is Meiling Rei, she is here from Hong Kong and she is Syaoran's cousin," Tedera-sensei said, all the while Meiling just smiled.

Tomoyo recognized Meiling's smile, it was fake, the type of fake that you put on that says "I'm o.k., everything's alright" when you are feeling the exact opposite. She then looked at Eriol, he was intensely looking at this Meiling girl. "Guess that's the end of Kanisa..." Tomoyo thought to herself. As if to answer her Eriol suddenly turned around to face Tomoyo and said, "I asked Kanisa out, she refused me... I'm gonna ask this new girl out, and I already know how I am going to do it." He then turned back to face the front of the room and look at Meiling more. Tomoyo felt tears coming to her eyes. Did he only like the cute girls, was that what it was? Was she not pretty enough, or was she just not good enough?

"Everyone, please make Meiling-san feel comfortable and at home here. Meiling-san, you may take the seat next to Syaoran," said Tedera-sensei.

"Hey Meiling-chan, are you alright? You look depressed and act that way too," said Syaoran quietly to Meiling.

"No, I miss mother and father and everybody that I knew and grew up with back in Hong Kong," replied Meiling.

"Tonight after school I'll set up an e-mail address for you and an instant messenger screen name for you, and then you can chat with you friends," Syaoran quietly said to the depressed Meiling, who at hearing this cheered up instantly. "Oh yeah, this is Sakura-chan, my girlfriend that I told you about, and this is Tomoyo-chan, Sakura's best friend and one of my friends, and this is Eriol Hiragazawa."

"Hi, it's very nice to meet you," Meiling said kindly.

"Hey, why don't I introduce you to the rest of the group at lunch today!" Sakura exclaimed. "We all sit together and eat lunch," Sakura explained to Meiling.

At lunch that day, as planned Meiling followed Syaoran outside and over to the cherry blossom tree that "the group" ate under.

"These two are Chiharu and Rika, that's Naoko, and he's Yamazaki," Sakura explained to Meiling.

"Hi, my name's Meiling," said Meiling happily, she could already tell that she was going to get along in this new school perfectly.

After school that day Tomoyo was going to ask Eriol if she could walk home with him, but he had already gotten his books and ran off to someplace before Tomoyo got the chance to ask him. "Eriol-kun, why, oh why don't you like me?" she whispered to herself.

Eriol ran faster and faster, he had to be quick to get this all done properly. He ran into _Mids Candy_ and bought a big box of assorted chocolates and then ran to his house and pulled out a box from in his night stand. He pulled some thick paper out of the box and pulled out his ink pen and then started to write.

_Dear Meilin-san,_

_Hi. I really like you a ton and would like to know if you like me too. If not, I hope that you at least like the gift._

_Yours truly,_

_Eriol_

"Now all I have left to do is too deliver it," Eriol thought to himself. "Maybe afterwards I can go and see if Tomoyo-chan is alright, she had been acting strange all day."

Meiling was staying after school that day and Syaoran was showing her around the school. She looked over to her right and saw Eriol standing there, motioning for her to come over. "I'll be right back Syaoran-kun, I need to run to the lavatory quickly," Meiling lied and then ran over to Eriol, who had moved over to be out of Syaoran's sight range, but so that Meilin could still see him.

"Hello, Eriol-kun. I saw you motioning for me to come over here, what is it?" Meilin whispered.

"Well, here," Eriol said while bowing and holding out a card and a wrapped gift.

"Can I open it?" Meilin excited asked. "Please, please, please," she begged.

"Well, I'm not sure. I guess that you could, if you really wanted," Eriol responded in a quiet, but playful tone.

Meilin then opened up the card and read it over carefully and then looked up at Eriol smiling at him, and then opened up the gift.

Eriol looked at Meilin as she opened up her card and gift. He was nervous now, would she like him? Would she like him enough to consider going out with him? "Please let her say yes, please let her say that she'll go out with me," he silently prayed.

Meilin was blushing now, and even more so when she sincerely said, "Eriol-kun, I would love to go out with you. Thank you very much, thank you ever so much." She then turned and started to walk back towards Syaoran. "Thank you Eriol-kun," she silently whispered, quite enough that Eriol could just barely hear what she said.

He watched her as she came nearer towards him. She had a box and card in her hands and a smile on her face, with tears of joy in her eyes. He decided not to say anything, it was good that his cousin was this happy, she wasn't very happy about coming to Japan, but this made things better for her. But it would only make things worse for someone else, and he knew that to, that's why he could only be half-happy about this. "Hey, ready to finish the tour," he said to her.

"Yes, Syaoran-kun, I am ready to finish," Meilin said. She wondered why her cousin didn't bring up the box and card in her hands. She knew that he must have noticed and then realized that she hadn't gone to the lavatory. Perhaps he had his reasons, perhaps not. She followed him around the rest of the school, but she didn't take much notice of what Syaoran said, she was too excited to pay attention.

Tomoyo ran. She had walked halfway home and then turned around and headed back to school to get a book that she had accidentally forgotten. She had gotten her book and on her way out saw what happened between Eriol and Meilin. Eriol didn't like her, he liked Meilin. She then turned and ran. Now she was running faster and faster, to get even farther away from the school, and Eriol. She didn't want Eriol to know that she had seen what happened, or see the tears that were now streaming down her face. "Why oh why, oh God, why? Please, just let him notice me! Please Lord, let him love me! When will it be my turn?" Tomoyo screamed this out loud, the rain was pouring down and the thunder was loud, no one would hear her. She fell to her knees sobbing. "Oh, Lord, when will it be my turn? Why does it have to be this way? Lord God, please help me."

Syaoran and Meilin were walking home, out of the corner of his eye he saw Tomoyo over on the ground, crying in the rain. "Meilin-chan, I forgot something that's urgent that I have to do, head home without me. I'll be there soon, kay?"

"Alright, don't take too long, it's raining hard," Meilin answered. Syaoran had sounded like he wanted to go alone, and he hadn't asked about her card and chocolates, so she wouldn't ask about this. Besides, she trusted Syaoran.

Syaoran walked over to Tomoyo and put his arm around her. "Hey, you alright?" he asked.

Tomoyo didn't answer him but instead just cried harder.

"It's alright. Everything will turn out fine, you'll see," Syaoran said to try to comfort her, but actually, he wasn't in the least sure that everything would be "all right" and "just fine". He looked at her crying so hard. This was all Eriol's fault, he shouldn't ignore her like this. Syaoran knew that it wasn't really Eriol's fault, that he shouldn't blame Eriol for not seeing Tomoyo's pain. She did a pretty good job of masking it, only her closest friends could see it, other than Eriol.

"I'm sorry Syaoran-kun. I just have been having a bad day, that's all. I'm fine now, really," Tomoyo said in a weak and shaky voice. She hoped that Syaoran would just believe her story and leave her alone, she didn't want any help.

"Alright, take care of yourself then, and go home and get out of the rain," Syaoran said while walking away.

When Tomoyo arrived home she was thoroughly soaked and cold, she didn't care. She went upstairs and threw herself on the bed and laid there, she was no longer crying, she had already cried as much as she could, even thought the pain was still fresh. She walked over to her bathroom and opened up a drawer and pulled out a razor blade. She held it out to her wrist and then stopped. Was she afraid? No, she wasn't afraid, nothing could hurt her more than she already was. She realized why she stopped then. She was above this, it was below her. She didn't need to do this, despite what she thought, it would hurt her worse. It would make the ones who cared about her worry. She threw the razor blade across the room then. It bounced off a wall and fell into the garbage. She turned on the hot water and filled up the tub, took off her clothes and got in. She looked at the surface of the water. Did Eriol think her not pretty enough? She thought hard about it, the answer was no. Eriol had dated girls that weren't pretty before, he dated them because he liked them for who they were. So then, did he like her or not. Of course, or why would he look to her for help? "Eriol-kun, I love you, please love me," she whispered.

**A/N: **Hi, it's me again. Just for those of you who are curious, this is a Tomoyo and Eriol fic, but it may take a while... but don't worry, Eriol will like Tomoyo, eventually. Also, it there anyway that I can edit my profile page, if anyone knows how, I would appreciate if you told me in a review, and on that subject, please **Review.** I need reviews, please...

**Review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, exct... **

**Rising Angel:** Nanie-san has now gone insane from typing the word _review_ so many times, so in her place I suggest that you review.

**Nanie-san:** I'm not insane! Not insane!

**Rising Angel:** She's insane and completely lost it... (She had too much sugar lately... and is now both insane and hyper)

**Nanie-san:** Yup! Completely hyper, and proud of it!

**Rising Angel:** hits Nanie-san over the head

**Nanie-san:** with swirly eyes and staggering around the room Oww, that hurts... Please remember to- faints

**Rising Angel: **As she was saying, please remember to hit the purple review button in the corner.

(Another)**A/N: **Hi, I hope you enjoyed this little comedy to lighten up the depressed mood that my story has created. I plan to do this sort of thing more often, so I hope that you like it.


	5. Broken pieces of a broken heart

**Summary: **Tomoyo likes Eriol a ton, but Eriol only sees Tomoyo as a friend. Eriol is having trouble finding and keeping a girlfriend, and Syaoran and Sakura are doing great together

**Nanie-san: **It's no fair! I don't wanna do the disclaimer!

**Rising Angel:** You have to, so get over it.

**Nanie-san: **But... but... but... Oh, please don't make me do it!

**Rising Angel: **Fine then, I'll do it! Despite her immense wishes Nanie-san, nor I for that matter, doesn't own CCS. There, are you happy now Nanie-san?

**A/N: **Hi, it's me again! I'd like to thank my reviewers. And also I would really appreciate it if more people would review... it can't be that hard, can it? Well anyways, read and review! And remember, reviews are always welcome!

**Japanese Words:**

Moshi moshi- means "hello" when answering the phone

_Previously:_

_She threw the razor blade across the room then. It bounced off a wall and fell into the garbage. She turned on the hot water and filled up the tub, took off her clothes and got in. She looked at the surface of the water. Did Eriol think her not pretty enough? She thought hard about it, the answer was no. Eriol had dated girls that weren't pretty before, he dated them because he liked them for who they were. So then, did he like her or not. Of course, or why would he look to her for help? "Eriol-kun, I love you, please love me," she whispered._

**Chapter 5: **Broken pieces of a broken heart

She saw him and ran towards him. He was waiting for her with his arms outstretched. She jumped and landed in his arms. He hugged her tightly. She heard him whisper, "I love you Tomoyo-chan," and then, she woke up. She was in bed hugging a doll of Eriol that she had sewn. She looked at her clock, it said 6:00 a.m. Tomoyo got up and walked towards her closet. It was Saturday, she didn't have school, so she pulled out a purple sweater and a pair of blue jeans with a design of purple flowers on the bottoms of the pant legs and put them on. She then walked over to her night stand and took a brush out of it and began to brush her hair. What did her dream mean? Was it a premonition of the future, or just a dream of a desire that would never be granted. "Eriol-kun, do you love me, or at least like me a tiny little bit more than a friend?" she asked her doll of Eriol.

Sakura had just woken up from a terrible nightmare. She drempt that she was a doujin artist and that she was being chased around by all these crazy, obsessed, mutant fan boys that wanted her autograph and free copies of her latest book. To make matters worse, this was all going on at three a.m. in the morning and she had just jumped from bed and her hair was a wreck and she was still in her pajamas that Tomoyo had made her, but she had to admit to herself that the pajamas that Tomoyo had made for her were her favorite pair of pajamas. Sakura walked into the bathroom at her house and took a quick shower. When she got back to her room the clock said that it was 6:45, no wonder that she was sleepy, she hated to get up early, especially on weekends. "I wonder if Syaoran-kun is up now, he usually gets up early," she thought to herself. "Maybe Tomoyo-chan or Meilin-chan will wanna go to the mall." She wished that she could think that perhaps Tomoyo would want to make her new clothes as she used to do, but ever since Eriol started dating Tomoyo had seemed to just gradually stop sewing and living in her own little melancholily world. Sakura then put on a blue pleated skirt, a white tank top and a pink sweater coat. "I'll go see if Syaoran-kun and Meilin-chan are awake yet. Maybe it will make Meilin feel better about being so far away from Hong-Kong if we go somewhere and hang out. Maybe even Chihiru-chan, Naoko-chan, Rika-chan or Tomoyo-chan will come with us!"

Syaoran heard a knock on the door and walked over and opened it. "Sakura-chan, good morning," he greeted his girlfriend as she walked through the door.

"Good morning Syaoran-kun! Is Meilin–chan up yet?"

"Yeah, let me go and get her," Syaoran responded to Sakura. He walked over to Meilin's room and knocked on the door. "Meilin-chan, Sakura-chan's here and wants to see you."

"Sakura-chan!" Meilin shrieked with joy while running out of her room while trying to get her hair pulled up. Sakura couldn't help but laugh when she saw what Meilin looked like. She had one of her buns in and was trying to get her other one in, and she had on a pair of faded jeans with her pajama shirt.

"Meilin-chan, would you wanna come to the mall and hang out with me for a bit?" Sakura asked.

"Would I ever," Meilin responded and then ran into her room. She came out five minutes later with her hair done and instead of a pajama shirt she had on a red Chinese shirt. "Ready whenever you are. Syaoran-kun, will you come with us too?"

"Well, I guess that I could if you wouldn't mind," Syaoran said after thinking about if for a minute. "Can we invite everyone else too?"

"Yeah, let's! That's just what I was thinking! Perhaps then we can make Tomoyo happy again just like she used to be!" Sakura exclaimed. Soon the three of them had turned into the ten of them. Sakura, Syaoran, Meilin, Tomoyo, Eriol, Chihiru, Yamazaki, Rika, Naoko and Sarrin were all running around the mall together going into numerous stores and spending their allowances. At about 8:30 they went and got soft pretzels and ice cream from the food court for breakfast. Soon Tomoyo was laughing and acting just as she used to, just as she had before Eriol had started dating and taking his love problems to her.

Later, after everyone had left the mall and gone their separate ways, Tomoyo was sitting alone in her room. Their day, it was really fun... she didn't have to worry about who Eriol's girlfriend was, but now, it hurt her to think that Meilin was Eriol's girlfriend. It started to rain. Tomoyo didn't care, she went outside without coat anyways. She was soaked and cold, but none of that mattered now. She walked with her head down. Someone pushed her and swore at her, but she didn't care, none of it mattered now. Reality was reality, Eriol didn't like her. He liked other girls like Sarrin and Meilin. She felt hot tears streaming down her face. She didn't bother to stop them nor to look and see where she was walking to. "Eriol-kun, why don't you notice me?" she silently muttered to herself.

"Hey girl! Quit your stupid muttering and get out of my way!" someone shouted at her. Tomoyo just walked forwards without care. It didn't really matter. Let the jerk be mad at her, the rest of her life was already miserable, this jerk really couldn't make it much worse. She felt the stone that he threw at her hit her back. It hurt. She stopped at a local vendor and bought a soda. Someone pushed her and some of the ice in her soda came out of the cup and smashed onto the sidewalk. Tomoyo looked down at it. It was shattered, just like her life. She heard thunder in the distance and knew that she should start to head home, but she just walked on. She didn't want to go back yet, she wasn't ready to go back. She found herself in a park that she had never been to before. She climbed into a tunnel that was part of the castle building that was there. She laid down and soon she was asleep. She was in a room, alone. "Where am I?" she thought. She felt a cold breeze coming in from the window. She looked at the window closer. It had no glass on it. She then realized, the glass was shattered all around her. "It's like the broken pieces of a broken heart, my broken heart. The sunlight bounced off the broken glass to reflect a pale pinkish color on it. "It's so pretty," she whispered. Tomoyo bent down and touched a piece of glass, she looked at her finger, there was blood flowing down it from where the glass had cut her. She started to cry, not from the piercing pain, but for no reason at all except all of her emotional pain. As if in reaction to her pain all of the windows in the room started to shatter. The glass formed a circle around her feet and then rose up in the air, spreading out so that she was completely surrounded by it. It then all flew towards her, cutting her. She screamed out in pain, but no one was there to hear. She looked out one of the windows, she saw Syaoran-kun and Sakura-chan there, together as boyfriend and girlfriend. In the next window she saw what truly broke her heart, Eriol-kun and Meilin-chan, hugging, the two of them happy. Eriol seemed to look in her direction, but not see her, he and Meilin then walked on, away from her, followed by Syaoran and Sakura. Tomoyo felt the broken shards of her heart shattering more and more, and as she felt it the glass started to shatter into more pieces, and it pierced her flesh deeper and deeper. "Eriol-kun... someone... please... help... me," she managed to whisper. Her voice was thin and fragile, just like the glass that was cutting her.

Sakura looked out of her bedroom window at the rain. Meilin had went over to Rika's house and Syaoran had came over to hers. She felt Syaoran's warm hug surrounding her and smiled in complete content. She was happy now, Tomoyo had cheered up while they were at the mall and Syaoran was now with her. She felt warm inside, she loved the feel of Syaoran's hug. He was so nice to her. The phone then rang. Sakura was mad at it for messing up her tranquil moment with Syaoran. "Moshi moshi, Kinomoto residence, Sakura speaking," Sakura said into the phone.

"Sakura-san, it's Sonomi! Have you seen Tomoyo anywhere, it's storming outside and her coat is here and I don't know where she is!" Sonomi said into the phone. Her words were fill with stress and fear.

"No, she isn't here... If I see her I promise that I'll tell you right away. Bye."

"What is it?" Syaoran asked.

Sakura looked at Syaoran and ran and hugged him while crying. "Sonomi-san can't find Tomoyo-chan anywhere. She is missing and she left her coat at home and is probably outside and it's cold and storming outside."

"Don't worry Sakura, we'll find her. C'mon, let's get on coats and go look around town for her," Syaoran said to Sakura. He was scared, Tomoyo had never gone missing before and she had seemed fine earlier. Did she go into a state of depression? Did she accidently get caught out in the rain? Or, did she go out purposely.

Soon both Syaoran and Sakura were out in the rain looking for Tomoyo, but no matter where they went they could not seem to find her. They checked Penguin Park, and the mall and all of the other places in town. Soon they had come across Meilin, who was on her way to Syaoran's apartment, and she agreed to helping them look. Shortly after that they passed Eriol's house and stopped there. Sakura asked Nakuru if Tomoyo had stopped by and Nakuru said that she hadn't, but she sent Eriol with them to look and she said that she would look around with them too.

Sakura started crying. It was cold and wet and raining and they hadn't found Tomoyo and she must be out in this terrible weather all by herself. "Tomoyo-chan, where are you? Please let us find you soon and please be safe and alright," Sakura whispered to herself.

"We'll find her, I promise," Syaoran quietly said to Sakura. Sakura looked at Syaoran, she didn't want Tomoyo to be out in this weather, she wanted to believe her friend's words, but something made her feel uncertain that they would find Tomoyo.

"Syaoran-kun, when I came here from the airport, didn't we pass a park on the way?" Meilin asked.

"Yeah, it was a newer park, do you think she might have went there?" Syaoran asked.

"Hey, I got an idea!" Sarrin exclaimed while pulling out her cell phone. "Sakura-chan, do you think that you could give me Tomoyo-chan's number?"

"Sure," Sakura happily replied and programmed it into the phone book in Sarrin's cell phone. Sarrin then called Tomoyo. It rang a few times, but no one picked it up. After Sarrin tried a few more times they gave up on calling her because wherever she was, she either didn't care to answer her phone, or she couldn't answer her phone, meaning that she was in some sort of danger. Now, worried more than ever about their friend, they all started to run towards the park.

**A/N: **Hehehe... I wonder how everything's gonna end. Guess that you'll just need to come and read the next chapter to find out. Well, anyways, now that you've read this chapter please **review**. Also, I'll try to make the next chapter longer...

**Nanie-san:** Boohoo, I wanna know how it ends!

**Rising Angel: **You mean to say that you don't know! You're the author of this story, you're supposed to know these things.

**Nanie-san: **Ahh... writer's block? I dunno, should they find Tomoyo-san or should they not? To find or not to find, that is the question. Maybe one of my nice reviewers would like to give me what they think...

**Rising Angel: **Probably not if you keep whining about it and complaining about needing reviews... Anyways, before your author give up, please submit a **review**, besides, it'll save my sanity that way...


	6. Shining Eyes Turned Dull

**Summary: **Tomoyo likes Eriol a ton, but Eriol only sees Tomoyo as a friend. Eriol is having trouble finding and keeping a girlfriend, and Syaoran and Sakura are doing great together

**Disclaimer: **Okay, there is this group of four girls that make up Clamp, they own CCS, not I, them. Though hey, if they're giving it away I'll take it...

**A/N:** Hi, sorry that I haven't updated in a while, I've been really busy with a band and chorus concert, Christmas shopping, getting sick, and forensics... Oh yeah, add Spainsh homework to that list too. Well, enough gibberish now, I'd like to thank my reviewers and I hope that everyone who reads this will please submit a review...

**Japanese words:**

Hai yes

_Previously:_

"_Hey, I got an idea!" Sarrin exclaimed while pulling out her cell phone. "Sakura-chan, do you think that you could give me Tomoyo-chan's number?"_

"_Sure," Sakura happily replied and programmed it into the phone book in Sarrin's cell phone. Sarrin then called Tomoyo. It rang a few times, but no one picked it up. After Sarrin tried a few more times they gave up on calling her because wherever she was, she either didn't care to answer her phone, or she couldn't answer her phone, meaning that she was in some sort of danger. Now, worried more than ever about their friend, they all started to run towards the park. _

**Chapter 6: **Shining Eyes Turned Dull

They ran faster and faster to get to Tomoyo. The park was about one mile away from them. Soon, they were all tired. They had been running only for a short while, but they had only gotten one forth of the way to the park. "Curse it," Syaoran whispered.

Sakura cried. She had wanted to while they were running but she just couldn't then, but now, it was all she could do to cry. Tomoyo was missing and out in the cold, rainy weather. "Tomoyo-chan, please be alright wherever you are," she prayed. "Lord God, please, take care of my friend."

Meilin walked over to Sakura and said, "It's alright Sakura-chan, we'll find Tomoyo, besides, we don't know for sure that she is at the park, she may be in a more public area, the park was just a guess. Besides, she's a smart girl, she'll take care of herself." Actually, Meilin knew better than to think that, how could Tomoyo take perfect care of herself if she didn't even wear a coat in this weather? Well, at least her words were calming Sakura down.

Eriol stared hard at the ground. What could he do? He was really worried about Tomoyo, but he didn't know what he could do to help the situation out at all. "Oh please be alright Tomoyo-chan! You've helped me through so much, I'd be lost without you!" he thought. Thought upon thought started to race through his mind. They were all different, but they all had one thing in common, in each Tomoyo was hurt really badly.

It started to rain harder and the lightning came closer and closer, quicker and quicker. Everyone that was outside had all ran inside by this point and only a few cars remained out on the streets. The group's spirit had soon fallen as they walked on towards the park. It was storming, and the park was just a guess, if they didn't find Tomoyo there they probably weren't going to find her at all.

Nakuru looked at the ground beneath her feet. Oh how she wished she had a car, then she could drive them all to the park. They would be there in minutes and if they found Tomoyo then... It was too painful to think about what would happen next. Nakuru knew that Tomoyo wasn't alright wherever she was. They just had to get there faster! "Alright everybody! C'mon, let's just run as if our very lives depended on it, then we'll get there faster and be able to help Tomoyo sooner!" she shouted while feeling a fierce determination growing inside of her. She had to help Tomoyo right now! Or at least, as soon as she found her. Due to her words, the group started to run fast again. She was happy that they would reach Tomoyo soon. Then she got an idea. "Everybody stop!" she said as soon as they passed the bus stop, and they listened to her.

Just then, the bus stopped at the bus stop. Nakuru and the rest of the group boarded it. It was near empty, but all of the people inside of it just stared as they walked in soaked, out of breath, and tired. "And where might all of you be getting off at?" the bus driver asked.

"Just breathes up at breathes the park breathes that's about breathes a mile south of here," Sakura managed to say to the bus driver before falling backward into a seat beside Syaoran.

The bus driver looked at these kids. They were clearly out in this weather for some really good reason. After all, they appeared to have been running for a good bit, and they all looked worried. He drove over to the park and let them off at the stop that was right beside it. "You kids take care of yourself now, and good luck with whatever it is that you're doing, and don't get into trouble..."

Tomoyo screamed! It all hurt. It hurt so bad, and no one came to help her. "Eriol-kun... please..." she whispered as she collapsed onto the floor. Everything hurt so bad, she wanted nothing at this point except to be released from her pain. She had enough with everything. She just wanted all of her pain to end and everything to turn out alright. That's what she had wanted from the beginning... was it too much to want? Was her own happiness too much to want?

Everybody was running around the park looking for Tomoyo. They were all shouting "Tomoyo-chan!" as loud as they could.

"Tomoyo-chan. C'mon Tomoyo-chan. What's wrong Tomoyo-chan? You're gonna be late Tomoyo-chan. Where were you Tomoyo-chan!" all of these words echoed through Tomoyo's head as she lay on the ground screaming.

"Tomoyo-chan!" Eriol shouted as he saw her lying in a tunnel that was a part of the castle building that was on the playground. "Tomoyo-chan! Tomoyo-chan! Tomoyo-chan!" he screamed repeatedly as he looked at her in horror. There were stones in the tunnel that had cut her face, arms, and legs. Worst of all her face and hands felt so cold when he touched them.

Soon everyone had gathered all around Tomoyo. "Which one of you lives the closest to here?" Sarrin quickly asked as she took off her coat and put it onto Tomoyo's cold body.

"Eriol-kun does," Sakura responded.

"Okay, Eriol-kun, would you lead us to your house? Also, can you her over?" Sarrin asked.

"Hai," Eriol responded while lifting Tomoyo onto his back and starting to walk towards his house.

**Rising Angel: **Here your author Nanie-san has officially gone crazy after having reached a major writer's block. So, I will now become your new and improved, better author.

**Nanie-san:** No, I'm not crazy, just half insane and officially going through a major writer's block. Thus be it that if the rest of this chapter isn't that great it's because of my writer's block and an insane person named Rising Angel that's trying to take my place as an author and finish this story.

Later on at Eriol's house Sarrin is taking care of Tomoyo.

"Sarrin, how did you learn how to take care of people the way that you do?" Sakura curiously asked Sarrin.

"My mother is a doctor and I learned quite a bit of stuff from her. Before we moved here I helped my mother out at the hospital that she worked at then. There weren't a ton of people to work there, so she taught me lots and lots of what she knew and let me help to take care of some of the people. The hospital that she worked at was in a very poor town. She had started it to help the people there and it was run by all volunteers that she would teach medical stuff to on the job because we couldn't start up a big hospital there. So she got money donated to help get medicine and one rich man donated a ton of money and even hired a carpenter and that whole group to build a building for us to work from. He died not long ago and donated all of his money to go to the hospital there. A few medics then came to the hospital and mother left them in charge for the time being. She hopes that we can go back there soon."

"Wow, that's really cool. So you actually helped to run a volunteer hospital before and learned a lot of medical stuff there, you're ever so lucky!" Meilin exclaimed. "I would love to go there for a bit and help out when you go back. Tell me before you go and I'll see if my mother would agree to let me go."

"Alright, until then I can teach you a bit. And I'm sure that if you're mother gives you permission to go with us that my mom would take you with us. She was actually hoping to get some more volunteers here. Now, I am going to write you a list of things that I will need for Tomoyo once she gets up," said Sarrin as she wrote up a small list of things.

"Eriol-kun, you can get this half of the list and I'll go and get this half of the list," Meilin said while she ripped the list in two and handed Eriol the top half.

"Nakuru-chan, will you please go and get me some more warm blankets also?" Sarrin asked.

"Sure, I'd be delighted to get you some more warm blankets for Tomoyo-chan," Nakuru happily responded.

It was now a week since they found Tomoyo in the park and now Meilin was lying on her bed thinking about the past few days. Eriol had been really nice to her, he had taken her out on "dates" and done some really nice things for her. He got her chocolates and a necklace and flowers, but now Meilin wasn't sure if she truly liked him. She had first agreed on the date because she had needed someone to be there for her, but she now wasn't even sure that she felt any deeper love between Eriol and herself. After all, she had dated him for need of support if that's what you think it should be called. "I don't wanna break his heart if he falls in love with me and I can't commit," Meilin thought. "Did he even ask to go out with me because he loved me or because of some other reason? Was it just for me, or was it just for him, or did we both need somebody at the time? Syaoranfe is so confusing..."

Tomoyo was at her house taking as shower. It had been a week since she passed out in the park. She thought about the dream that she had had. She could remember every bit of it perfectly. Sarrin had asked her why she had done what she had done while she was still recovering, but Tomoyo just said that it had been an accident, that she had went to get some stuff from some of the stores that were about a block away from the park. That as she was passing the park it started to rain and so she sought shelter in the tunnel that was in the castle that was in the park. Now Tomoyo was wondering if she was half crazy. After all, you don't dream if you're unconscious and yet she did. Did that mean that she was actually asleep before she was unconscious? What did Eriol think when he saw her lying unconscious out in the tunnel, and in the rain without a coat? Was he worried about her then? Did he feel his heart leaning towards her, or did he feel nothing new? Was he worried because she was his friend, but not as worried as he would have been had he been in love with her? Tomoyo felt the hot water running over her body and sighed. It felt so good, but yet she wasn't calmed down. She could remember that when she was little a warm bath always calmed her down, now that she was older and in love, it was not so. She found now that she was crying uncontrollably. No one but herself was home, so no one heard her misery flowing out just as quickly as her tears were. Only when her misery flowed out it wasn't gone. It surrounded her and stayed with her. She could be past the point of tears and crying, but her misery stayed with her heavy in her heart, pulling there like a weight that couldn't be lifted even by the strongest of men. "Eriol-kun, why do you play with my heart so? Can't you just love me and then let my heart quit aching? Please love me for more than just a friend." Tomoyo's wondered if her silent plea would ever be responded to.

Sakura was at home making supper for herself. Her father would be away at his job all-night and Toya was working night shift at a local store, so she was all alone that night. "Tomoyo hasn't really been alright lately. She always looks so sad and she usually checks the weather before she goes out so she knows if she will need a coat or warm clothes," she thought to herself. She suddenly screamed. Having been momentarily distracted she had ended up burning her pancakes that she was making for supper. "Hoeee..." was all that she said as she quickly cleaned up the mess of burnt pancakes and started to make some new ones. After she had made supper Sakura went upstairs and put on her pajamas and sat down at her computer.

Tomoyo looked out of the window in her room. She had finished showering an hour ago and now had nothing to do. The stars were so pretty. She liked how they glowed so brightly.

_Flashback_

"_Look mommy, aren't the stars all so pretty?" asked a little girl with the prettiest eyes ever that shone even brighter than the stars and the cutest face._

"_Yes my dear Tomoyo-chan, they are. But, do you know what's even prettier than the stars my darling girl?"_

"_No, what is it mommy, what is it? Is it the sun?" the little girl asked._

"_Well, that to, but no. What's prettier is my little girl and what's brighter is you when a smile lights up your face. Your smile and your eyes shining at the same time make for something even brighter than the stars."_

"_But mommy, the stars glow and give off light and my face and eyes don't glow, do they?" the girl asked confused._

"_Oh, they glow, just not in the same way that the stars do. Your face gives off a special kind of light. And don't ever lose that light that lights up your face and eyes."_

"_Alright mommy, I promise that I won't," the girl promised._

Now, no one would recognize Tomoyo as that little girl. Ever since she fell in love with Eriol she hadn't had that glow that lit up her face and those sparkles in her eyes. "I'm sorry mother, I didn't mean to break my promise, but I just can't be happy. The one I love took away that light. But maybe one day, he'll put it back and it will shine even brighter than before. Then, then I will be truly happy. Eriol-kun, please let that time come really soon."

**A/N:** So, how did you like this chapter? I meant to make it longer, but I have gone through major writer's block and I've been busy... (as stated at the very top of the story) Anyways, sorry that it took me so long to update... Well, I still have to go and update my other story so...

**Rising Angel:** Yeah, she's gone through a lot to get this chapter to you and really needs reviews, so now that she has done something nice for you, you can do something nice for her, review!

**Nanie-san:** Wow... I survived my writer's block...

**Rising Angel: **Your author is currently in a state of shock, thus I shall take over from here.

_And then Eriol realized that it was Tomoyo that he loved and he ran to her and wrapped his arms around her. Tomoyo sighed, she was at peace now. Eriol then knelt down on one knee and slid a ring onto her finger. Tomoyo's face lit up in happiness and joy. On Christmas day Tomoyo and Eriol got married. Tomoyo then woke up, it had all been a dream. Now, mad at Eriol because it was all a dream and because he toyed with her heart for so long, she walked into her room grabbed a hammer and walked to Eriol's house. When Eriol answered the door she began to hit him over the head with the hammer until he admitted his love for her and slid a ring onto her finger. Later that day they got married and have lived as a happy couple ever since. And whenever Eriol and Tomoyo have different ideas on something, well that never happens because then Eriol is hit with the hammer and agrees with Tomoyo._

_The End._

See what a good author I'd be!

**Nanie-san:** No I'm the author! I'm better than you at it! (Hey, any suggestions about what you want in the story are always welcome...)

**Rising Angel: **And here your author commits suicide from not having enough reviews. So, I will now be your author and get plenty of reviews.

**Nanie-san: **Hey! I AM NOT DEAD! I DID NOT COMMIT SUICIDE!

**Rising Angel: **Darned...

**Nanie-san: **Anyways, I'll try to update again before or on Christmas, please review! (And if you wanna you could give me suggestions on what to put in this fic!)


	7. Depression

**Summary: **Tomoyo likes Eriol a ton, but Eriol only sees Tomoyo as a friend. Eriol is having trouble finding and keeping a girlfriend, and Syaoran and Sakura are doing great together

**Disclaimer:** I DON'T OWN CCS ALREADY! (I hate this disclaimer thingy, it sucks)

**A/N: **Hi, here's the chapter that I promised... (sorry that it's late, I got sick and couldn't type...) Please submit a review. Oh, did anyone ever hear the song Jolene by Dolly Parton or Mindy Smith, if you did doesn't her description of Jolene sound just like Sakura? I'll shut up now...

**Rising Angel:** Please forgive your author, she is really depressed... She wanted to play DDR for forever now and just missed getting to play it so now she is overly depressed.

**Nanie-san: **A-a-all I w-w-wanted t-to do was t-t-to p-play DDR... (cries some more)

**Rising Angel: **Maybe I should type this chapter for her, then again, that may make her even more depressed... Please read and review to make her happy.

_Prevously_

_Now, no one would recognize Tomoyo as that little girl. Ever since she fell in love with Eriol she hadn't had that glow that lit up her face and those sparkles in her eyes. "I'm sorry mother, I didn't mean to break my promise, but I just can't be happy. The one I love took away that light. But maybe one day, he'll put it back and it will shine even brighter than before. Then, then I will be truly happy. Eriol-kun, please let that time come really soon."_

**Chapter 7:** Depression

Tomoyo lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Try as she may she couldn't fall asleep. "Eriol-kun, why don't you like me?" she wondered. It was 1:00 a.m. and she should have been asleep hours ago. She knew that she would have trouble staying awake during school that day but she didn't care at the moment. School and her grades used to be a major priority to her, but now they were just something that existed. At the moment she had straight A's but that no longer made her happy as it used to. She used to take pride in her good grades now, because of Eriol, she didn't take pride in anything, she was too busy thinking of Eriol and his latest problem. Around 2:00 she closed her eyes and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

"Aieeee!" Sakura screamed as she heard Toya whisper in her ear that she was late for school. She quickly turned her head and looked at her alarm clock. It was only 5:30. "Toya!" she screamed. "Hello, I'm a growing girl, I need my precious beauty sleep! And you woke me up again!"

Toya looked at his sister and laughed. "You sure do get angry over all the little stuff. It's just a half hour earlier than the time that you should get up at."

"Meanie," muttered Sakura as she threw a pillow at Toya. "Now get out, I need to get changed."

"Jeez you didn't have to throw the pillow at me. You could have just asked and I would have left," Toya said. How dare his little sister throw a pillow at him. It just wasn't right, he was supposed to be the one throwing pillows at her and doing other such things.

Tomoyo heard the beeping of her alarm clock and slowly got out of bed and put on her school uniform. She was so tired from not getting enough sleep the night before that she accidently walked into her door before she opened it. "Good morning mother," Tomoyo sleepily muttered as she walked past her mother in the hallway.

"Breakfast is downstairs on the table," Tomoyo's mother, Sonomi, said.

"Kay, thanks mom," responded Tomoyo. She then went downstairs and ate breakfast. "I wish that we didn't have school today," she thought. "Wonder if Sakura-chan would want to walk to school with me today?"

Sakura heard the phone ringing. "Hello," she said as she picked up the phone.

"Hi Sakura-chan, it's Tomoyo. Do you wanna walk to school together today?"

"Sure," responded Sakura. She wondered why Tomoyo sounded so tired, usually she was wide awake in the mornings. Surely that meant that she didn't get enough sleep, but what could cause her not to?

Syaoran heard someone knock on his door and opened it to find his girlfriend standing outside, she looked worried. "What's wrong Sakura-chan?" he asked as she walked through the door and shut it behind her.

"Tomoyo-chan called me to walk to school with her. She sounded really tired, but usually she's wide awake. I'm worried about her," Sakura responded.

Syaoran could she his girlfriend's worry about Tomoyo. For her to be worried like this it must be really bad. "C'mon, we'll go to her house and walk to school with her," said Syaoran. "Meilin-chan, I'm heading off to school with Sakura-chan now, bye!" Syaoran shouted to Meilin who was in the other room getting ready for school.

"Bye Syaoran-kun, bye Sakura-chan!" shouted the girl with raven black hair and redish amber eyes. She heard the door open and close as her cousin and friend left. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and cried. On the outside she looked pretty, but on the inside she felt worthless. "Aunt, uncle, why don't you love or want me?" she sobbed.

_A six year old girl with red amber eyes cried as the whip hit her back. Her parents had died in a fire just a few weeks ago. Her aunt had taken her in. She was forced to call her aunt Mother and her uncle Father, both hated her. She was worthless to them. She only had the outfit that she was wearing and no money. Her cousins had lots of outfits and were given as much money as they wanted. They had tons of toys while she had none. They never got into trouble while she was blamed for everything. Today her cousin Jiren had stole some of his mother's jewels and hid them. Now he blamed her of stealing them and hiding them, he said that he saw her do it. She sobbed as the whipping continued. Later he left saying that she had better have learned her lesson. Two hours later she had her ear pressed to the door of her parents room. They had presumed she was asleep and were now talking about her. "Perhaps we should just send her away already. I tried to call Yelan again, she's cut herself off from the world, evidently she still doesn't want to be found. Besides Yelan we're the girl's only family, since and since she can't be found we can do what ever we want with the brat, she's completely ours. Let's send her to a boarding school a few continents away from here, say America." The girl quietly crept back to her room and cried. Yelan had decided that she didn't want to be found years ago and ever since nobody had found her. Her only family were these people who hated her. She didn't want to go to America, but sure enough she ended up in America with only a few dollars for spending money, no birthday celebration like all the other girls had, no friends, and only her school uniform and a pair of pajamas for clothes. The other girls always made fun of her. After a year at that school her parents brought her back to China. She then was home schooled. She wasn't allowed to leave the house at all. For years she lived under that roof, never being able to step out into the sunlight. Now, she was finally able to go to a public school. She made friends there, and a month later Yelan showed up again. She cried as she was told that she was leaving to go stay with Yelan's son, Syaoran. She got her friends e-mail addresses and screen names after hearing that she would have computer access. And then she screamed as her parting gift was a whipping from her "mother and father" for being such a burden over the years and not being grateful to them._

Now that girl cried again, she felt uncomfortable in Japan. Ever since she left she started calling her aunt and uncle by Aunt and Uncle instead of Mother and Father. She hated her life, pretending to be happy instead of sad. Just this morning her friends from her public school had said that they couldn't communicate anymore that their parents didn't want them to talk with her. Evidently her aunt and uncle were going out of there way to make it look as if she were a bad kid. She hit the mirror hardly, it shattered. She looked at her shattered reflection, it now looked like her. "Mama, papa, why did you have to die and leave me?" she asked in a whisper to no one in particular. She threw herself onto her bed and before she knew it she had cried herself to sleep.

As soon as they were out the door Sakura began to weep. She was worried about her friend. Syaoran put his arms around her and together they walked in silence towards Tomoyo's house. "Syaoran-kun, she's not as happy as she pretends to be is she?" she asked.

Syaoran shook his head. "No, no she isn't. But listen, it's not our place to intrude to far, it's her mother's. The most we can do is be there for her and try to make her happy, which your tears won't do," he responded.

Tomoyo opened the door and walked outside. She saw Sakura and ran to meet her. She noticed that Syaoran was with Sakura. "You two are inseparable aren't you?" she asked. "You always go everywhere together."

"Yup," Sakura said while nodding her head. "You seemed tired on the phone this morning, are you alright? Is there any reason that you didn't get good sleep last night?"

"I'm fine, I just had some caffeine before bed last night and couldn't fall asleep, that's all," Tomoyo lied. It hurt her to lie to her friends, but she didn't want them to find out what was really wrong. "Besides, it is I who should be worried about you, your face looks tearstained," she said becoming concerned about her friend.

"It's nothing, I just fell down on the way here and it kinda hurt," Sakura calmly said. She smiled at herself, it was a good story even if it wasn't true. After all Tomoyo looked happy that she was alright now, and it was good that Tomoyo looked happy.

That day at school as Tedera-sensei read off the attendance list Syaoran suddenly looked up and became alert as he heard Meilin's name being read but did not hear her voice saying that she was there. He quickly looked at her desk to find it empty. "Tedera-sensei, may I please be excused to go to the office?" he asked. His teacher nodded his head and Syaoran ran off in the direction of the office.

"May I be excused to go to the office too?" Eriol asked as he ran out the door after Syaoran.

"Oh, and me too," Sakura said while running after the two.

"Ahh, I need to go to the office also," smiled Sarrin while running past the sensei and out the door to follow the others.

"Bye," said Tomoyo as she followed behind the others.

"Wait! What is this! You can't all be going to the office at once," Tedera-sensei said as he watched them run out the door and pay no heed to his words or even ask for permission in the cases of Sakura, Sarrin and Tomoyo.

Takota ran out after the others and shouted, "See ya later!" to Tedera-sensei as he was halfway down the hall.

"Umm, Tedera-sensei, Rika, Naoko and I all have to go to the lav, we'll be right back," Chiharu said as the three of them left and followed the others to the office. Soon there was a whole gathering in the office.

Syaoran dialed the numbers for the cell phone that he got for Meilin into the phone in the office. Before he even finished dialing the numbers there was a crowed of all of Meilin's new friends. As soon as he finished dialing the numbers the phone was no longer in his hand but in Eriol's.

Eriol listened as the phone rang and rang, but there was no answer from the other end. He quickly pushed the redial button as all the other's took out their cell phones and started to dial Syaoran's number or Meilin's cell phone number, nobody answered any of the calls. "She is staying with you, right Syaoran-kun?" Eriol asked.

"Yes, she is," responded a worried Syaoran. "She was at home this morning when Sakura-chan and I left to pick up Tomoyo."

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU ALL DOING DOWN HERE!" the principal shouted while walking through the door.

"Uhh, we were all calling Meilin-chan because she isn't here and she should be," Rika calmly responded.

"And how many people does it take to make a phone call?" asked the principal.

"One ma'am," Chiharu responded.

"And why do you all have cell phones, aren't they contraband?"

"Because Meilin can't be alright and we were all worried and everybody breaks the cell phone rule," Sakura said while making her face all pouty and sad while beginning to cry. Well, this was all too much for the principal to bear, ten zillion kids in the office, ten zillion contraband cell phones, and a really cute, sad, and crying Sakura.

"All of you back to class and put the cell phones away. I'll go easy on you this time. You will all be able to see Meilin after school," said the now overwhelmed and exhausted principal. She looked over at Tomoyo. "Daidouji-san, are you alright?" she asked seeing Tomoyo's abnormal weariness, after all, she was normally her best student. And seeing her best student in trouble at the office and overly tired was really abnormal.

"Yes, I'm just fine. Thank you for asking though," Tomoyo responded. "I'm just a bit tired is all. I accidently had caffeine before bed last night and had trouble sleeping." She hated having to lie to the principal and her friends, but she had to, there was no other way.

Meilin woke up. Her hand was bleeding from shattering the mirror. She walked over to the bathroom and cleaned out the tiny cuts and wound some bandage around her hand. She knew that the others would be at school and worried about her but at the moment she didn't care, little did she know how much controversy and havoc her absence had created. She walked over to her nightstand and took a book out of it and then took the key from her pocket and opened the book. "Dear diary," she began. "I can't stand it. My old friends hate me because of a lie aunt and uncle made up and aunt and uncle have always hated me. It's no fair. But my life is sort of getting better. The other day when I told Sarrin-chan that I could probably go with her it was so hard to lie and pretend that I had parents. I haven't even told Syaoran-  
kun yet about anything. I'm going out with Eriol-kun, but I'm too afraid to tell him about my past. I wish that I could, but it's too painful. Syaoran said that Yelan hadn't hid at all, that it had been a lie that my aunt and uncle had made up and told all of us so that they could do whatever they wanted with me. Syaoran said that they tried to get me but that as much as they tried my aunt and uncle hid me and kept me away from them until now. Why they chose now to send me to them I suppose I'll never know. Life is so confusing, it ever so annoys me.

Meilin

**A/N:** So how did you like this chapter? Is it good, is it bad? I have a great idea, tell me in a review! Just hit that little purple button in the corner and well, you know the rest... I'll try to update soon.

**Rising Angel: **Yay! This chapter is done!

**Nanie-san: **T-t-that's n-nice... I s-still w-w-wanna play DDR...

**Rising Angel: **Okay okay, quit your crying... You can go kareoke with your friend later, kay.

**Nanie-san:** Okay! Yay, that makes me feel much better! I wanna go kareoke! Hey everybody you all have to remember to hit that nice little purple button in the corner for me!

**Rising Angel:** Who gave her sugar?


	8. Sprained Ankle

**Summary: **Tomoyo likes Eriol a ton, but Eriol only sees Tomoyo as a friend. Eriol is having trouble finding and keeping a girlfriend, and Syaoran and Sakura are doing great together.

**Disclaimer:** Okay, I don't own CCS, Clamp does...

**A/N: **Hey, here's another chapter for you! I wanna thank my reviewers for reviewing and for the suggestions. I hope that you like this chapter!Oh and I changed Li to Syaoran, so his family name is Li now and his first name is Syaoran...

_Previously_

"_Dear diary," she began. "I can't stand it. My old friends hate me because of a lie aunt and uncle made up and aunt and uncle have always hated me. It's no fair. But my life is sort of getting better. The other day when I told Sarrin-chan that I could probably go with her it was so hard to lie and pretend that I had parents. I haven't even told Syaoran-kun yet about anything. I'm going out with Eriol-kun, but I'm too afraid to tell him about my past. I wish that I could, but it's too painful. Syaoran said that Yelan hadn't hid at all, that it had been a lie that my aunt and uncle had made up and told all of us so that they could do whatever they wanted with me. Syaoran said that they tried to get me but that as much as they tried my aunt and uncle hid me and kept me away from them until now. Why they chose now to send me to them I suppose I'll never know. Life is so confusing, it ever so annoys me._

_Meilin_

**Chapter 8: **Sprained Ankle

Meilin walked to the park, she was skipping school. She already missed the beginning of school and she knew that even if she tried she wouldn't be able to concentrate. "Am I just going out with Eriol-kun because I need somebody to lean on? If somebody else had asked me would I have accepted? I don't wanna hurt Eriol-kun by being a bad girlfriend and not loving him," Meilin thought. "I don't deserve Eriol-kun, he doesn't deserve me, he deserves better."

"Aieee!" screamed Sakura as she fell down the stairs while carrying a big stack of books. "Darn," she muttered as she looked at all the books scattered around her. She started to stand up but fell back down realizing that she had sprained her ankle and wasn't going to be able to support herself with it. She began to cry. It hurt.

Syaoran was walking down the hall as he heard a series of loud thumping noises and some crying, Sakura's crying. He quickly ran off in the direction of the crying only to find that Sakura had fallen down the stairs. He quickly ran down the stairs to his girlfriend and put his arms around her. "It's alright. Everything's fine now. Can you stand?"

"N-no," she managed to say between her tears. "I t-think that I s-sprained m-m-my ankle."

"Let me see it," Syaoran said looking at her ankle. He quickly felt it. "Not broken," he muttered to himself. He quickly moved Sakura's books into a pile and then picked up Sakura and carried her up to the nurse's office. The door was open so he walked in. "Hello!" he shouted but got no answer. He set Sakura down on the bench and walked over to the cabinet. "Let's see, there has to be some bandages around here somewhere." Soon he found some and walked over to Sakura and began to wrap the bandage around her ankle. "I'll go and get your books and take them to your locker and then come back here and carry you home," he said to Sakura.

Sakura nodded her head as she watched Syaoran run off down the hallway. "I'm sorry Syaoran-kun," she mentally apologized to her boyfriend. "I's so sorry to be a burden and bother you." About five minutes later she saw Syaoran running towards her. "You didn't need to rush, I wasn't going anywhere fast," she teased him as soon as he was withing earshot.

Well now you didn't expect me to leave my little cherry blossom waiting did you?

Sakura smiled, she liked it when he called her his little cherry blossom. As he neared her she put her arms around him. "I love you Syaoran-kun," she whispered.

"I love you too," he quietly whispered into her ear as he slid his arms around her. He slowly leaned in near to her and kissed her cheek lightly.

Sakura blushed. Her Syaoran had just kissed her! Yeah he had kissed her before, but she felt even more excitement than she had the first time. She dearly wished that he'd kiss her lips, but he had yet to do that and probably wouldn't for quite some time, after all he was a slow person when it came to relationships. Oh well, she could wait even if it took one million years. She held on for what seemed forever until he broke the hug and turned his back to her.

Syaoran felt his face getting hot, he was blushing and didn't want Sakura to see. "C'mon, climb onto my back and I'll carry you home now," he said barely managing to sound calm.

Toya was worried. His little sister was late coming home which was unlike her. He was waiting by the door, it wouldn't be long now. He heard the ding-dong of the door bell. "That's strange," he thought, "the kaiju doesn't ring the door bell." He opened the door to find the Chinese gaki carrying his sister on his back, he was ticked now. "What the heck happened to her!"

"I fell down the stairs at school and hurt my ankle," Sakura said before Syaoran could say anything. "And then Syaoran-kun came and took care of my ankle and brought me here."

Toya looked at the gaki. For once he couldn't be mad at him, after all he did just help his sister and bring her home. "T-thanks gaki," Toya muttered as he took his sister from Syaoran.

Syaoran inwardly smiled, after all he couldn't let Toya see him smiling... "Her ankle isn't sprained badly, it should be fine in about a week," he said to Toya.

Toya looked at the gaki, he wasn't glaring at him for once. He thought that the gaki would glare at him as soon as he saw him, apparently not. Perhaps this Chinese gaki might not be that bad after all, no he mustn't think that way. The gaki's a boy and likes his sis, correction, is dating his sis. "Well come in for a bit while you're here," he said, the gaki just nodded.

"We'll be in my room Toya-kun. Oh, could you make Syaoran-kun and I some tea?" Sakura said.

"Whatever," Toya responded as he carried his sister up to her room while the gaki followed behind them. Toya set his sister on her bed and then walked out the door. If his sister wanted tea he would make her tea, as for the gaki, well he could have tea too, but only because of what he had done for Sakura. "Stupid gaki," he muttered. He wanted to be mad at him but he couldn't be mad at him for helping his sister.

"You know, I think that today is the first day that you and Toya-kun didn't fight," Sakura said.

"Perhaps," said Syaoran while nodding. It was true that he and Toya hadn't fought but that was all a yet.

While Syaoran was thinking Sakura pushed herself over to him and put her arms around him. "Hey, don't forget to pay attention to me!" Sakura fake pouted while saying this and looking at Syaoran.

"Don't worry, I didn't forget about you," he said while returning her hug, just then Toya walked in the door with the pot of tea.

"What the heck! Let go of her you gaki!" Toya shouted.

Syaoran quickly jumped up and over behind Sakura's bed. "Great, so now there's at least a bed separating us," he thought. "And I've got Toya-kun after my life now too."

"Calm down the two of you!" Sakura shouted. "Toya-kun you know that Syaoran and I are going out so why are you so mad over a simple little hug! None the less one that I myself started!"

"Because he's a little gaki and you're you're you're... uhh... umm... you're my sister! Besides you're Japanese and he's Chinese!"

Sakura stuck her toung out at Toya while saying, "Well who cares what you think! I care about Syaoran and he cares about me and that's that! Besides isn't Nakuru your girlfriend and you don't see Eriol-kun yelling at you over that!" "Ha," Sakura thought to herself. She was proud of her ending statement, especially because Toya and Nakuru weren't even going out because Toya didn't like Nakuru. Well Sakura knew that her statement had just made Toya angry, she was proud of herself, she had never made Toya this angry before, usually it was him that made her angry.

"I don't like Nakuru and she isn't my girlfriend and we aren't going out!" Toya shouted at his little sister. He then turned to face his sister's boyfriend, "and you had better not ever even think of hugging my sister again you jerk." He then left the room annoyed with both Sakura and Syaoran.

"Well I'd better go now, I need to check on Meilin still," Syaoran said as he walked through the door.

"Alright," said a highly disappointed Sakura, "but promise that you'll come over for tea some other time."

"I promise." And with that as his words of parting Syaoran walked out of the room and went downstairs and left. He then ran to his apartment and into Meilin's room. "Meilin!" he shouted out, but there was no answer. "Where the heck is she!" he thought while running all through the apartment. He grabbed the phone and quickly dialed Eriol's number. It rang once, then twice and then again.

Eriol heard the phone ringing and quickly ran over to it. "Hello," he said as he picked it up.

"Hey Eriol, it's Syaoran, listen Meilin is missing, I was wondering if she is at your house, is she?"

"No, I haven't seen her. Did you get home just now?"

"Yeah, Sakura-chan sprained her ankle and I had to take her home and then I kinda got into a fight with Toya-kun."

"Why don't you ever add an honorific after my name, I mean you even add one after Toya-kun's?"

"Because of that fight we had long ago, I haven't been on good terms with you ever since baka."

"You fight with Toya-kun all the time and you still add an honorific after his name!"

"Your repeating yourself Eriol-kun."

"Ha! You added an honorific after my name! Anyways wanna go look for Meilin together? I'll meet you at your house."

"Alright, bye."

"Bye Syaoran-kun." Eriol hung up the phone, his life had been a success. After his major fight with Syaoran five years ago he had finally gotten him to add -kun after his name. The funny thing was that he couldn't even remember why they were fighting back then, it must have been some really stupid reason for him to forget. He quickly grabbed his coat and slipped on his shoes and started to run to Syaoran's house. He just happened to look at the park as he was passing it. He saw Meilin swinging on a swing. "Syaoran-kun," he said after dialing Syaoran's number, "I found her, she's fine. I'll be with her for awhile and then send her home, kay."

"Alright Eriol-kun."

"Meilin-chan, what are you doing out her all by yourself?" Eriol asked as he approached Meilin. He could see bandage wrapped around her hand. "I wonder what happened," he thought.

"E-Eriol-kun," Meilin stuttered as she looked up supprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I came looking for you, all you alright? What happened to your hand?" he asked.

"I guess I'm alright, I cut my hand earlier this morning. I laid down after Syaoran left and fell asleep."

"But are you mentally alright?" Eriol asked. He knew that there had to be more to this story than she said. He had seen into her eyes. They say that the eyes are the mirror to the soul, and he had seen her pain right through her eyes. She wasn't mentally alright, he knew that, but would she admit it to him?

"Find, I hate it! I hate it all!" she screamed and then threw herself into Eriol's awaiting arms and began to cry. "I hate it! Mama and papa died when I was little and then I had to go with my aunt and uncle and call them "Mom" and "Dad", and they hated me and always pushed me away and sent me away. And they lied to my friends at my old school so now they hate me too and I'm sick of it all!"

Eriol looked down at her. He didn't know what to say to comfort her. "It's alright, everything is fine now. You're here and they aren't and you have me now," he finally managed to say.

Meilin cried harder. "But Eriol-kun, I don't have you! I only agreed to go out with you because I needed someone to talk with and someone to be there for me! I didn't realize that then but I do now, I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about, I'm still here for you wether we're going out or not, that's what friends are for. Besides, you have Sakura and Syaoran too. And what about Chiharu and Rika, or Sarrin and Naoko? Listen, things are going to be much better now I promise. C'mon let's go shopping and I'll get you some nice stuff, well? Everything that you wanted before you can have now." Eriol desperately wanted Meilin to be happy. He had grown close to her during their dates and now he wanted to help her more than anything. It was strange, but it didn't break his heart to learn the truth, he was glad that he had met her and could help her. This was the best way to break up. He slowly stood up and helped her to her feet and started to walk to the mall with her. He realized that she probably hadn't told Syaoran how little she had so Syaoran probably hadn't thought to go get her lots of stuff, stupid Syaoran.

It had been a few days since they had broken up and now it was school time again. Meilin sat in her desk looking over at Eriol. He was looking at Tomoyo, but he said that Tomoyo was just a friend to him. Actually, she had noticed that ever since she had first seen him that he seemed to look at Tomoyo during class time, didn't either of them realize it? "I guess that Eriol-kun likes Tomoyo-chan and doesn't even realize it, I wonder how long it's been like this for?"

Tomoyo was thinking about Eriol, he'd broken up with Meilin just a few days ago, but he hadn't found another girl yet. This was probably his record amount of time for going without a girlfriend. She wished more than ever that Eriol would ask her to go out with him, after all, that was her dearest dream. Later that day when she got home Tomoyo walked over to her doll of Eriol and slowly took him down from the shelf he was on and hugged him. "Eriol-kun, why don't you notice me? Why don't you love me, or at least like me?" she thought sadly. It was too good to be true, Eriol had gone for a few days without a girlfriend, thus her heart was a bit more at ease for a few days, but soon he'd have a new girl and it would all be over, she would be heart broken and shattered again. That was the story of her life, being shattered and shattered again, that's how it always was. She watched the tub of water fill up, a bath was supposed to be relaxing for the soul, but to her it wasn't, she always cried while in the bath. She watched the water flowing out and filling up the tub, it was just like her sadness, flowing out and surrounding her. "Eriol-kun she whispered as she turned off the water and got in. She dunked her head beneath the surface and felt the warm water completely surrounding her, warming her cold body. "I wonder what would happen if I didn't surface? Would drowning hurt?" she thought as she was submerged by the water. She lifted her head above. "I don't wanna die. I've got too much to live for."

Sakura looked out her window. She really wished that she hadn't sprained her ankle, it sucked to have to limp around on crutches all the time, but the bonus point was that she got to get Toya to be her personal servant. "Toya-kun, will you please bring me a glass of lemonade!" she shouted, and within moments Toya appeared with a glass of lemonade for her.

Syaoran watched as Meilin walked into her room to go to bed, she looked happier than she had been since she got there. She had been happier ever since a few days ago when she had broken up with Eriol, but then again, she was still hanging out with Eriol all the time.

**A/N:** Hey did you like this chapter? Well I hope it was good... Anyways I'd greatly appreciate it if you'd press that little purple button in the corner and submit a review...

**Nanie-san: **Yay! I got this chapter done!

**Rising Angel: **Ohh wow, she got the chapter done...

**Syaoran: **Why do I always get into trouble with Toya!

**Nanie-san: **Because it's fun to make up and type.

**Rising Angel:** It's even more fun to watch you yell at her...

**Syaoran:** YOU'RE HER ASSISTANT, I'M MAD AT YOU TOO!

**Rising Angel: **P-p-please don't k-k-kill m-me.

**Hiei: **Don't worry, Syaoran won't kill you, I will.

**Rising Angel:** N-n-no, t-that's w-w-worse, p-please sp-sp-spare me.

**Nanie-san: **Now this is fun to watch.

**Syaoran: **Hey Hiei, wanna see who's stronger.

**Hiei: **Was that a challenge?

**Nanie-san & Rising Angel:** Men...


	9. Tomoyo’s Question

**Summary: **Tomoyo likes Eriol a ton, but Eriol only sees Tomoyo as a friend. Eriol is having trouble finding and keeping a girlfriend, and Syaoran and Sakura are doing great together.

**Disclaimer: **I don't' own CCS, it's Clamps. (There are you happy, I did the disclaimer.)

**A/N:** Hey, let's play a game, shall we. I say something and you do everything I say, so to start I want you to read and enjoy this chapter. Then I want you to submit a review to make me feel special...

_Previously_

_Syaoran watched as Meilin walked into her room to go to bed, she looked happier than she had been since she got there. She had been happier ever since a few days ago when she had broken up with Eriol, but then again, she was still hanging out with Eriol all the time._

**Chapter 9: **Tomoyo's Question

"I want him to love me, I really want him to love me. So why doesn't he even notice me?" Tomoyo thought as she looked over at Eriol. It was lunch time and they were all eating outside, today she was eating by herself and watching Eriol from a distance. She couldn't go over and face him. She was too scared of crying in front of him to do so. "Eriol-kun, will you love me because I love you?" she silently whispered. "Lord up on high please let him notice me, please," she silently prayed as she walked back into school as the bell rang signaling the end of recess.

"Students, we will be having a dress-down day tomorrow," said the principal over the intercom. "Who's stupid idea was it to have a dress down day tomorrow anyways?" the principal thought after saying that.

"Yes!" cried all the students in unison after hearing this.

"This is gonna be lots of fun!" shouted Meilin while jumping up and down. "I can't wait, Sakura-chan can you come over and help me choose the outfit that I'll wear?"

"Sure, I'll have Toya-kun drive me over after school today. Ever since I sprained my ankle he's been doing everything that I've asked him to do," Sakura responded proudly. She loved the control that she now had over her brother.

"Great, thanks a ton," said a very content Meilin.

Later on Sakura and Meilin were in Meilin's room looking through her closet. "Wow, you don't have a whole ton of clothes, did you leave them all in China?" Sakura asked confusedly. Every girl that she knew had a huge wardrobe compared to Meilin's.

"Umm, yeah, I did," Meilin lied. She couldn't tell Sakura that those were the only clothes she owned, less than the fact that Eriol had gotten half of them for her. "Perhaps later on I should get a part-time job to earn some money and then go and get a few more outfits so that nothing seems suspicious," she thought.

"Meilin-chan, I found one that'll look great on you for tomorrow!" Sakura shrieked excitedly while pulling an outfit out of the closet.

Meilin looked at the outfit that Sakura had pulled out of the closet, it was a red shirt with a golden dragon on the back and had matching red capri pants with dragons on the bottom. "Eriol-kun got me that outfit," she thought.

Tomoyo looked at the clothes that she had thrown over her bed. She was trying to find an outfit to wear but she was having trouble choosing, so she threw the clothes from in her closet onto her bed to be able to look at them better. "I guess that I'll wear this pair of dark blue jeans and perhaps that purple t-shirt," she thought. "Or maybe I should wear my white shirt with the cat on it, yeah I'll wear that shirt."

"Tomoyo-chan dinner time," Sonomi shouted from downstairs.

"Coming Mother," Tomoyo said as she ran down the hallway and down the stairs. "I wonder if sometime when mother's off on a business trip Eriol-kun would take me out to supper?" she thought.

"Ha, wishful thinking isn't gonna get you anywhere idiot, he doesn't even like you and that would be too much like a date," thought some part of her mind.

"Better to have high hopes than no hopes," thought another part of her mind.

"Just shut up!" Tomoyo screamed and then looked at the ground embarrassedly as her mother and her bodyguards looked at her strangely. "Uh, I'll be eating supper now," Tomoyo mumbled as she ran out to the table and sat down.

Eriol stared at his ceiling as he lay down for bed that night. "It's so strange," he thought, "that Meilin hasn't told anybody about her past except for myself, not even Syaoran-kun who's her cousin and who she's staying with. Is she afraid that people won't like her if they know? Why did she trust me and not anyone else?" Eriol was confused and trying to sort out his thoughts, at the moment he felt that life was being abnormally confusing. "Perhaps I should tell Syaoran-kun, then again would she still trust me if I did? Maybe I should get her to tell Syaoran-kun or his mother, Yelan-san." Eriol then closed his eyes and instantly fell into a dreamless sleep.

The sun rose and it's light shone on Sakura's face. Sakura buried her face into her pillow and hit the "sleep" button on her alarm clock as it started to make beeping sounds.

Toya quietly crept into his sleeping sister's room and looked at her as she lay asleep. It was such a shame that he would have to wake her up. It was more of a shame that she had hurt her ankle, he hated the thought of his little sister being hurt. "Hey, kaiju, it's time to wake up," he whispered while lightly shaking Sakura.

"Mmm, lemme sleep Toya-kun," Sakura mumbled while rolling over. "I don't wanna get up yet."

"Kaiju you need to get up and go to school otherwise I'll personally drag you out of bed and there while you're still in your pajamas," he evilly whispered while grinning like an idiot.

Sakura rolled over again and threw one of her pillows at Toya. "Fine, I'm getting up now leave my room so that I can get changed," she mumbled while sitting up and shielding her eyes with her hand, the sunlight was really bright. As soon as Toya left her room Sakura hopped over to her closet and began to look for an outfit. "I guess that I'll wear this one," she said while pulling out a pair of black jeans with a sparkly silver belt and a glittery silver t-shirt. She then pulled on her outfit and put a matching silver headband into her hair. "Toya-kun," she called. Soon afterward Toya was at her door and picked her up and carried her downstairs, he had also made her pancakes for breakfast.

"Eat up kaiju," he said while handing her the butter and syrup.

Sakura glared at her brother. "I. Am. Not. A. Kaiju," she said loudly and slowly.

"Whatever," said Toya. He knew he was fighting a losing battle with his sister, as he did everyday.

Tomoyo pulled on her outfit and ran out the door quickly while grabbing a piece of toast to eat on the way. "Bwy Mwm, swe ywo lwtwr," she said with her mouth full.

Sonomi watched her daughter run out the door, she didn't know why she was hurrying, but she was able to roughly interpert what Tomoyo had said. She believed that it was "bye mom, see you later" or at least something of that sort. "Tomoyo-chan, I'm not going to be home until late tonight or possibly sometime tomorrow morning, don't wait up for me. I've left you some money for if you want to order a pizza or something for supper," Sonomi shouted loud enough for her daughter to hear.

Tomoyo nodded while running as fast as she could, she wanted to make it to Eriol's house around the time that he would be leaving and walk to school with him. Perhaps she would ask him to come over and have supper with her. "Eriol-kun," she called out as she neared his house and saw him just walking out the door.

Eriol heard Tomoyo shouting for him and turned around to she her running towards him. He smiled and waved to her. "Hey Tomoyo-chan, what's up?" he asked.

"Not much, hey since we're both here do you wanna walk to school together?" she asked. She really hoped that he wouldn't realize that she had been planning for them to walk together and that he would just think it coincidence that they met up just now, but then again part of her knew that he knew that there was no such thing as coincidence, that there was only necessity.

"You seemed rushed coming here Tomoyo-chan, is there anything that you want to talk about?" he asked. He was concerned about Tomoyo, she hadn't looked completely happy lately and it almost seemed as if every time that someone was there she painted a fake smile on her face and forced herself to look and act happy.

"Well actually I was wondering if you would come over for supper tonight because my mom's not going to be home and I wanted a bit of company," she admitted. "If you don't want to come then I could always ask Sakura or someone," she said hurriedly trying not to offend Eriol or put any pressure on him.

Eriol thought for a moment. He had nothing better to do and he was concerned about how Tomoyo was doing and before he realized what he was saying he had already told Tomoyo yes that he'd be delighted to have supper for her.

Tomoyo smiled a real smile then. "Domo arigato, Eriol-kun," she exclaimed happily while trying to contain her excitement.

Eriol looked at how happy Tomoyo was, he liked seeing her happy. "It's good to see you so happy Tomoyo-chan," he said, "but we should be getting to school now, don't you think."

"Yes, we should," she said as she walked beside Eriol to school.

"Someone sure seems excited today," Sarrin said while walking over towards Tomoyo. "Did something really great happen?"

"No, nothing special, I'm just really happy!" Tomoyo exclaimed and then took her seat in the classroom as Tedera-sensei walked in. Tomoyo inwardly smiled, she couldn't wait for that night when she and Eriol would be together, she was considering telling him that she liked him.

Meilin was starting to get bored during Tedera-sensei's lecture on World War II. She really wanted class to end right then, but the period still had a good twenty-two minutes to go before it would end. She started to look around the classroom then. Sakura was sleeping, Syaoran was taking a few notes and Sarrin was listening intently to Tedera-sensei's lecture. Rika, Chiharu and Naoko were passing notes to one another, carrying on a silent conversation, Tomoyo looked to be wrapped up in some sort of dream world and then she looked over at Eriol and couldn't help but give off a small giggle. Eriol was looking over at Tomoyo, which surprised her. "Perhaps he's beginning to realize his feelings for her," she thought. "Then again, he could be too dense to and just daydreaming and coincidently has his head turned towards her."

The bell rang to signal the end of the period and Eriol jumped out of his seat quickly. He was completely surprised by the bell, he had lost all track of time and didn't even remember what the Sensei had lectured them about. He felt nervous now, it was the end of the school day and in just a few more hours he would be over at Tomoyo's house for dinner. "What do I have to be nervous about?" he thought. "After all I've been over to her house before, and I'm not usually this nervous around her." Eriol decided to take a quick nap when he got to his house.

_He was holding her and gently caressed her cheek. She smiled at him. "I love you." Her words echoed through his head as she said them. He looked at her smile sadly at him and then, right before his eyes she disappeared. "Don't forget me, please don't forget me," she whispered. He heard her words and tried to grab her. "No, wait," he shouted. She completely disappeared. He felt lost and broken, he cared about her, she was meant for him and him for her. "Go after her," said a voice of whom he couldn't recognize the owner. "You love her, don't hurt her. You need to show her that you care."_

Eriol woke up with a start. He couldn't remember his dream, but he felt as though it were of some importance. He then remembered his promise to Tomoyo and quickly rushed around to find a good outfit to wear over to her house. After doing so he took a quick shower and changed into his outfit.

Eriol arrived at Tomoyo's house. He began to lift his hand towards the doorbell, he froze in fear and then lowered his hand down to his side. "What am I scared of," he thought, she's my friend, and I've never been this nervous around her before." Somewhere in his unconscious his dream was playing through his head. He then lifted his hand again towards the doorbell.

**A/N:** Konnichiwa minnasan! Sorry that the update took so long, I've had major writers block and then tons of school work on top of that... Anyways I'd be really happy if you'd submit a review.

**Rising Angel:** Yay! This chapter is done finally! You don't know the stress that this chapter put us all through...


	10. Hospital Trip

**Disclaimer: **I don't own CCS, Clamp does. If I owned CCS I can say that I probably wouldn't be typing this fic...

**A/N: **Hi it's me again! I can't quite decide, do I wanna make Eriol-kun run away or not (hehe or maybe even get kidnaped)? Oh the choices the choices that I'm faced with, maybe I should have things work out correctly for poor Tomoyo-chan for once... Nah, something will defiantly happen, something just has to happen. Maybe a fight, or perhaps a kidnaping, who knows. Oh yeah, I also wanna thank my wonderfully great reviewers, you all rock! And sorry for the long update, I've been kinda busy with forensics meets and practicing...

_Previously:_

_Eriol arrived at Tomoyo's house. He began to lift his hand towards the doorbell, he froze in fear and then lowered his hand down to his side. "What am I scared of," he thought, she's my friend, and I've never been this nervous around her before." Somewhere in his unconscious his dream was playing through his head. He then lifted his hand again towards the doorbell._

**Chapter 10: **Hospital Trip

"Okay I'm really nervous now, this is scary. Just press the darned doorbell already you idiot! Why the heck should you be scared of pressing a doorbell!" he mentally screamed at himself. "Let's try again," he thought calmer this time while breathing deeply, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. "See it's not that bad now is it, so just reach up and press the doorbell. Oh great, now I'm mentally talking to myself." Eriol nervously began to reach his hand up to the door, and then he heard the sound of a car horn beeping and turned to see some drunks speeding down the street. He turned back to the door then and extended his arm out, his hand nearing the doorbell. Six inches away, five inches away, four, three, two and then he thrust his hand forward quickly before he could chicken out and pressed it.

'Ding dong,' it rang.

Tomoyo had gotten home from school and done her homework in a rush, she was excited, but as we all know excitement can turn into anxiety and nervousness and Tomoyo was feeling a ton it now. "He'll be here soon," she thought. "Oh great, maybe I should change into something better. Should I cook something or should we order out? Wait a minute, maybe you should go out? What no way, that would be too much like a date! Great, now you've officially gone insane, it's really bad to argue with yourself you know. Oh shut up you! Make me." Tomoyo walked over to the door. "I'll just wait by the door for him to get here, yes I'll calmly wait here for him," she muttered aloud. "This silence is killing me!" She went upstairs and got her portable cd player, plugged in the headphones and then put them on, turned on some music and returned to waiting by the door. "Much better," she thought while calming down.

'Ding dong.'

She jumped up startled. "It's just the doorbell," she thought, trying to calm herself down. "Wait a minute, the doorbell!" She pulled off her headphones and threw the cd player onto the couch and ran over to the door. "One minute!" she called while fiddling with the lock on the door. She opened it, a tall blond woman wearing a nice suit stood outside.

"Hi I'm Sheridth from the new makeup shop downtown and we're handing out free samples of our new makeup. Would you like any?" asked the tall blond.

"Sure," Tomoyo said while, with much effort, trying to speak and smile sweetly. "I'd just love some, thank you very much."

Sheridth, handed Tomoyo a small, white plastic bag with some samples in it. "I do hope that you enjoy them and perhaps even stop by our store sometime, good bye and have a good day!"

Tomoyo nodded her head and waved goodbye as the lady left. As soon as she was out of sight Tomoyo slammed the front door shut. "Darn it, when will Eriol-kun get here?" she thought impatiently. "Maybe... maybe he's not coming. Maybe he forgot about me. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, after all he's just a friend and doesn't love me the way I love him. He's probably forgotten all about me." Tomoyo began to cry, she was depressed and felt completely worthless and miserable. "Stupid, stupid, stupid me," she cursed as she dropped the bag and ran upstairs to her room. She didn't care now, not about anything. She opened up the door to her bathroom and walked in and towards the cabinet on the wall, she truly didn't care. From it she took a small plastic box, in it lay a razor blade. She pulled it out and held it to her wrist. "I don't care," she whispered to herself, this moment was what everything so far amounted to, this was it. Tomoyo squeezed her eyes shut and pressed the blade to her left wrist. She opened her eyes and saw the blood flowing from her wrist, she was getting dizzy, never had she been good with the sight of blood. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, it echoing beat through her ears, she was dizzy, her head was swimming, she heard her every breath echoing in her ears alongside her ever constant heartbeat. She stumbled and tripped backwards, her head came in contact with something, everything was going black, darkness was consuming her. She could faintly hear it, the distant sound of the doorbell, then she lost all consciousness.

Eriol waited at the door but noone answered. "Tomoyo-chan, are you there?" he called out. "Tomoyo-chan!" He was worried more than ever now, something was wrong. He pressed the doorbell again and began to pound on the door. Something inside of him made him feel like something bad had happened, something very bad. He grabbed onto the doorknob and twisted it while pushing on the door, it opened. Eriol bolted inside as fast as he could, his eyes scanning the room all the while. While looking he happened to glance down at the floor. "A bag?" he thought. It wasn't like Tomoyo to leave her stuff on the floor. "Tomoyo-chan," he called out, surely she was here. "Maybe she's upstairs in her room and can't hear me?" he wondered. He began to ascend up the stairs, upon reaching the top he again called out for Tomoyo, but again received no answer. He looked down the hallway, there was a door wide open but all of the others were closed. He walked over to the door and into the room that it led to. "Tomoyo-chan's room," he thought to himself while looking around. He then spotted her, lying unconscious in the adjoining bathroom with blood coming from her wrist and head. He ran over to her side. "Tomoyo-chan!" screamed while picking up the phone, he had to get help right away.

Soon there was an ambulance outside of Tomoyo's house, it was going to take her to the hospital. There were people running about, one was phoning Tomoyo's mom, another two or three were carrying Tomoyo down towards the ambulance and another one was questioning Eriol.

"So tell us exactly how you found her," said the man to the highly devastated Eriol.

Eriol felt tears coming to his eyes, if he had been to her house sooner this wouldn't have happened, making this all his fault. He opened his mouth but no sound came out, he tried to tell the man but he just couldn't. How was he supposed to tell him that he saw his friend great, happy and all at school and the next time he saw her she was lying in a puddle of her own blood? The image haunted his mind and soon he felt himself crying.

"It's alright kid," the man said, evidently he would just have to go on unknowing, for it seemed that no matter how hard this kid tried he just couldn't get any words out, less than form sentences. "Just forget it, don't worry. It doesn't matter much anyways."

"Oh, so what happened to Tomoyo-chan doesn't matter much!" he angrily thought. He glared at the man between his tears and then turned and ran.

"Did I say something wrong?" he asked one of the other men there.

"Don't worry, the kid's probably just going through mental hysteria right now, he'll be fine later, just fine."

Eriol ran, he was going to Sakura's house, he would go with Sakura and the others to the hospital, it was only fair. After all they too were Tomoyo's friends. He got to Sakura's house and loudly knocked on the door.

"Hel- Eriol-kun, what happened?" Sakura gasped after seeing his tears. "What's wrong?"

He tried to tell her, only he didn't want it to be true and telling her would mean that it was true, he sighed. "Tomoyo-chan's wrist and head are cut and she's been taken to the hospital. I thought that you, Syaoran and the others should all know too."

Sakura began to cry and quickly began to call the others, soon they all were over at her house and Fujitaka offered to drive them all to the hospital, he knew how much they all cared about their friend so it was the least that he could do to help.

Eriol ran through the hospital doors first and over to a nice young lady sitting behind a counter. "Which room is Tomoyo Daidouji in?" he demanded fiercely to the woman.

She smiled at him and the group of kids that were all crowded around pressing her for the needed information. "Room number 414, take that elevator up to the fourth floor and then at the end of the hallway make a turn to your right, go through the big, double doors. Then walk until the hallway branches off into two directions and go left and you should be at her room," she said. And then watched them all run over to the elevator as if their very lives depended upon getting to their friend's room in the least time possible.

"Thank you!" Sarrin shouted to the woman while running into the elevator. She then pressed the button that had a 4 on it.

Eriol could feel his heart pounding in his chest and echoing in his ears. "Why the heck didn't I get there sooner," he thought. "I could have stopped her! Why did I take so long to get there?" As soon as they got onto the fourth floor and the door opened up Eriol bolted out of it and began to run down the hall.

"Perhaps we should allow him some time to be with Tomoyo-chan alone," suggested Syaoran.

"Yes we should," agreed Meilin and Chiharu at the same time.

"It would be good for him," said Naoko while Rika nodded her agreement to the two suggestions.

Takota slowly walked over towards Naoko and put his arms around her. "You're right, it would be better for him, but I think that we can still start to head towards Tomoyo-chan's room. After all we do need to get there sometime or another."

The group then started to walk over to Tomoyo's room.

Eriol raced towards her room, he was almost there. He reached the door and stopped at it. He extended out his hand and turned the knob and pushed the door.

**A/N:** Hey! Hoped that you liked the chapter! I'll try to update sooner this time, but I still need to update my other fic and go to forensics meets and practice my new forensics piece, exct... Anyways please submit a reviews, I would be most grateful to you if you did!


	11. Realization

**A/N: **Sorry for the really long time until this update... No real excuses other than getting sick, tons of make-up work and an overnight forensics meet, a few reports, oh and being hysterical all through the other day and getting sick again... And no the forensics that I'm in is not about dead bodies. Oh yeah, I learned a new big word! It's antediluvian, which means before the great flood! And I'll start using Nanie-san and Rising Angel stuff again too now! (And just for those of you who wonder before I became an author I reviewed under the name Rising Angel)

**Disclaimer:**

**Rising Angel:** I am here to inform you that your author, yes Nanie-san your autho-

**Nanie-san: **NO! Don't tell them, they don't have to know...

**Rising Angel: **Yes, they do have to know!

**Nanie-san: **Fine! I'll tell them then! I DO NOT OWN CCS! There are you all happy now!

**Rising Angel:** Very content!

_Previously:_

_Eriol raced towards her room, he was almost there. He reached the door and stopped at it. He extended out his hand and turned the knob and pushed the door._

**Chapter 11: **Realization

Tomoyo squeezed her eyes shut, she could feel the light of the sun's rays falling across her face. Her head was pounding and all she wanted to do was go back to bed. She slowly sat up and went to rub her eyes with her hands. She screamed, as she realized that her left hand was bandaged and quickly opened her eyes and looked around the room that she was in, frantically trying to figure out where she was. She placed her right hand up to her aching head and screamed again upon realizing that why her head hurt must be because she had injured it when she fainted. "Oh Kami-sama!" she whispered to herself. "What have I done?" Actually she knew what had happened, she remembered it all very clearly. She had been alone and gotten depressed because she thought Eriol wasn't coming and then, of course there was all her other Eriol problems adding to her depression, so she had cut her wrist, her left one to be exact. She had seen the blood and it caused her a bit of an emotional shock and she fell backwards and hit her head off something. The lightly, as she was losing consciousness she had heard the faint sound of the doorbell in the background, Eriol had come after all, and he apparently had her sent to the hospital too. "Eriol-kun," she whispered, "I'm sorry." "Mother must be so worried about me also," she thought. She fell backwards onto her bed. "But Mother must be displeased with me. She'll want to send me off for counseling and such. Not to mention she and everybody else, including Eriol, will want to know why I did it. I wish that they'd all just leave me alone. Why did they even have to bring me here in the first place? Why couldn't I have just stayed at home? The injury to my head can't be that bad and surely my wrist isn't gonna kill me!" She began to sit up again as the door opened.

Eriol peered inside the room. "Tomoyo-chan!" he exclaimed as he saw her sitting up in bed. "You're awake!"

"Did you think that I'd be sleeping?" she asked and then blushed as her friend bounded through the door and wrapped her in a tight hug.

"You had me so worried!" Eriol said while holding her tightly. "Especially when you didn't answer the door and I found you unconscious upstairs! Oh Kami-sama it was so scary, there was blood on both your wrist and head, I didn't know what had happened! Oh I'm so glad that you're alright! Wait a minute, are you alright?"

"Yes, just fine," Tomoyo responded, which was true of the moment. It wouldn't have mattered if she had just broken all the bones in her body, nothing could make this moment bad, nothing! Being held in Eriol's arms made even the worst alright. "I'm sorry for worrying and scaring you. Mother must be even more worried and scared. She still isn't here, she's probably waiting in suspense while trying her best to get here." Tomoyo started to cry now. Perhaps even though she was being held by Eriol this moment wouldn't be completely alright. "And now she'll think I'm mental or half crazy or something, won't she?"

Eriol looked down at the crying girl. Just a moment ago she seemed like she was mentally alright, but now he wasn't so sure that she was. "Tomoyo is something wrong? I mean why else would you... well you know, why would you?"

Tomoyo felt her chest tighten, this was the question that she had been dreading. "I- I don't wanna talk about it," she finally managed to mutter while slightly turning her face away from Eriol's intensive gaze.

"Tomoyo-chan are your alright?" Sonomi asked while running into the room and breaking up the moment between her daughter and the boy. "I came as soon as I heard I'm sorry that I couldn't be here sooner. Is it true? Did you really..." Sonomi felt herself trailing off at the end of her last sentence. It was so hard for her to believe what her daughter had just done to herself, she thought that she had been doing alright and such, she hadn't acted abnormal or depressed or anything like that before so why should she suddenly do this? "It... it... it is true, isn't it. Oh why Tomoyo-chan, why?"

Tomoyo felt her head bow and her eyes fall to her lap, her emotions were falling over her like a flood, she couldn't meet her mother's gaze, less than tell her that it was true that she had hurt herself, **purposely** hurt herself. "I-I-I," she faltered, "I'm sorry." "Oh Kami-sama I'm sorry!" she mentally screamed. "Darn you Tomoyo you're so stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

"Tomoyo-chan!" screamed Sakura while running into the room and hugging her friend. "I was so worried about you, I'm glad that you're okay! You are okay, aren't you?"

Tomoyo smiled a sad sort of smile at her friend. No, she wasn't alright, but Sakura didn't need to be worried over her. She looked over and saw everyone else coming, her whole group of friends was coming here to see her... why? She felt them all rushing towards her, showering her with hugs and love, they all cared about her so much. Soon afterwards she heard Sarrin say that they should leave her and her mother alone for a bit, and she felt her heart breaking as she watched them all leave. She was dreading this moment now, it was just her and her mother. Her mother would want to know why, or would want to send her for counseling or something! Her mother began to speak, and even though it may have been rude Tomoyo found herself holding up her hand for her mother to stop speaking. "I'm sorry," she mumbled as tears rolled down her cheek, "but I don't feel like listening to all of this now."

"Oh, alright," was all Sonomi was able to say, how could she say any more? "I just wish I understood why," she thought to herself. "I wish that I could have done something, or been there. I wish that I could have stopped her!"

"Do you think that she'll be alright?" asked Sarrin from outside of the hospital room in which her eternal friend Tomoyo was staying in.

"Which one are you referring to, Tomoyo-chan or her mother Sonomi-san?" Sayoran questioned.

"Either of them!" responded Sarrin, her voice filled with the anxiety that she felt at the moment.

"But why? Why didn't we see it coming?" Takota asked. He wasn't really asking a question to one of them, he was just wondering aloud, feeling so stupid for not having prevented it.

"We did see it coming. We just chose to ignore that fact. We didn't want to believe that it could happen, we are to blame," Sayoran seriously answered. His tone was low and sorrowful, that of one who felt the guilt for a friend's pain. "We believed that she wouldn't want us to help her, so we left her alone. We were the fools, blinded by what we wished to exist and what actually existed. We chose not to believe that she would hurt herself. We chose to ignore her problems and just try simple things to make her happy."

"Sayoran-kun's right. We were stupid, we should have been there for her, after all she is our friend isn't she!" cried Meiling.

"Enough self blame! We're all at fault but there's no reason that we should dwell on the past and what we should have done! The facts are that we didn't and it's too late to go back now! Now we need to be here for Tomoyo-chan more than ever!" shouted Rika.

"Yes," agreed Chiharu. "We'll do our best now to help her now since we didn't before."

Upon hearing these words the whole group nodded their heads, for they found that they believed these words were true.

**Nanie-san:** Sorry that this chapter isn't long but... I'll try to update sooner this time but there are no guarantees. On the other hand I promise that I will never give up on this fic and will finish it!

**Rising Angel:** Yes way! Oh and by the way she finally got to play DDR...

**Nanie-san: **Yeah, it was the best... actually your reviews are better so now why don't you just go and press that nice little **_Go_** button in the corner and submit a **_REVIEW_**...


	12. Reality

**Disclaimer:** Yeah, yeah, you already know it... But for the heck of it, I don't own CCS.

**A/N: **Sorry for taking forever to update, I have a really good and long list of excuses, if you really want it you can ask, but if not... Anyways onto the story now! And remember to submit a review! ...you could also check out my other fics too!

_Previously:_

"_Yes," agreed Chiharu. "We'll do our best now to help her now since we didn't before."_

_Upon hearing these words the whole group nodded their heads, for they found that they believed these words were true._

**Chapter 12:** Reality

"Maybe we should have acted sooner. Maybe we shouldn't have been so ignorant. We were stupid. What if we took action earlier? Does it even matter to think of what if's? After all this is what happened, that can't be changed. We must learn from this and move on. We will do better now. Through this we've all learned and matured. There is good in bad. You can't be truly happy until you've felt true and utter sadness. That's the reality of it all." Sarrin stopped writing and picked up her pencil. Silent tears rolled down her face. She and the others had left the hospital and all gone to their homes, leaving only Tomoyo and Sonomi at the hospital. They were to come home that day also. Sarrin sighed and wiped the tears off of her face and picked up her diary again. She moved the pencil to the paper, but couldn't find any more words to write, perhaps she had written enough, yes she had written enough. She silently dated the entry and then turned the key in the lock, so that no one could read what she wrote, maybe someday she'd read it to her friends, maybe not. She pushed the diary under her pillow, she wasn't able to do anything now, she was just to sad to. She felt like she was to blame, and knew that she was. She could have acted, she could have realized, but she didn't. As she wrote in her diary, that was the reality of it all, they didn't. Her head hit the pillow and she began to sob uncontrollably into it.

The ride home was silent and solemn. Tomoyo wasn't ready to talk, Sonomi was, but that didn't matter. Silent tears rolled down Tomoyo's cheeks and landed on the skirt that she was wearing. She wished that she could say that she was sorry, or do it over again! But her voice just wouldn't work, and she couldn't go back and change her actions, so she just cried.

Sonomi concentrated on the road, it was raining and dreary and she needed to concentrate. Besides it might help her get her mind off of what just happened. Before she knew it she has steered into the parking lot of the nearest _Starbucks_ and had turned off the car. "Come on," she muttered to her daughter while getting out of the car.

Tomoyo was silent as she got out and followed her mother through the doors. She went over to a small table and sat down. Soon her mother came over and set a coffee infront of her. Tomoyo expected that her mother would sit down with her, but was very surprised when her mother walked over to a different table and sat so that she wouldn't see her. Tomoyo looked out of the window next to her, watching the rain fall. It seemed to fall just like her tears, before she knew it her silent tears were falling even harder. She drank her coffee while watching the rain. "Mother," she began as she walked over to her mother, "may I please walk home? I won't do anything stupid I promise, I just want to be alone and sort out my thoughts."

Sonomi looked up at her daughter's gaze. She knew that Tomoyo wouldn't do anything stupid, but she didn't want her to catch a cold in the rain. But something made her feel that her daughter really needed the time alone. "Alright," she whispered. She felt herself begin to cry as she watched her only daughter walk out of the door.

"It's hard, isn't it?" asked someone from behind her.

Sonomi just nodded her head in response. The woman who asked the question sat down infront of her. She had a look in her eyes, the look of someone who had went through many tough times herself. "You know sitting around crying isn't going to help anything. What happened is what happened, you have to accept that and move on. Besides she doesn't look like she'll try it again, she knows that she wouldn't like the outcome," the woman said. Sonomi heard her words, but made no indication that she did, she just sat there staring down at her coffee crying.

Tomoyo felt the cold rain come down on her pale skin. She was such an idiot. Soon she found that she was running, running towards the park. She felt herself jump over the wooden fence and then sat down on one of the swings. She began to kick her legs back and fourth, pouring out all her frustration into it. Higher and higher she went while sobbing aloud. She didn't care anymore, no one was there to hear her so she just sobbed louder and harder. "Why!" she screamed out into the air. "Why was I so stupid!" She swung her legs harder and harder, pump and kick, pump and kick. The swing soared through the cold air quickly. "I was such an idiot!" She was becoming exhausted but she didn't care, she still kicked harder and harder, forcing the swing to go higher and higher. The cold air hit her face as her tears rolled down it, but she didn't care, nor did she care that she was shivering and exhausted. She just didn't care now, couldn't care now. She stopped kicking her legs and just let the swing come to a stop, she stood up and felt her body shaking, her knees trembling and threatening to collapse beneath her. She forced herself to move and walked over to a bench and sat down, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. The rain continued to pour down, even harder now.

Meiling lay on the bed in her room staring at the ceiling. It was hard to believe what had just happened, very hard. She felt like she must be heartless because she didn't cry. But to her there was really no point in crying, it wouldn't get her anywhere, she had learned that long ago. She looked over at her nightstand and picked up a book, it was titled _The Forgotten_. She brushed a layer dust off of the cover and opened it up to the beginning. She didn't know how long the book had been on the nightstand, she had never really took notice of it before though. It said that it had been published about forty years ago and the pages were yellowed. She slowly turned through the pages, looking for anything that might stand out.

Tomoyo stood up from the bench, her body still shaking uncontrollably. Strange, before she used to think that crying made a person weak, she had always cried silent, pitiful tears. But now it was if crying made her feel better and cleared her mind a bit. She still wasn't ready to go and talk with her mother, but she felt better.

Eriol walked across his room cursing loudly into the air. He really wished that he had seen it coming and stopped her. Oh why didn't he see it coming? He hit his head off of the wall a few times before falling onto a velvet chair and listening to the sound of the rain pounding on the window. "I won't ever be so stupid again!" he mentally screamed at himself while hitting his hand down hard on the armrest. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "I was such an idiot to not realize it!" He clenched his hand into a fist and felt the glass of his glasses crack and cut into his hand. "Darn it!" he screamed as the blood emanating from his cuts flowed down his hand. He dropped his broken glasses on the floor and walked over to the bathroom and rinsed cool water over his hand, then he began to wrap bandage around it. He thought about the bloodstained bandages that were wrapped around Tomoyo's head and hand. "I'm such an idiot, I should have realized, I should have stopped her."

**A/N: **Well it's a tad bit short, ok it's really short, but still it's here isn't it? I hopped that you enjoyed it. Anyways please review, it would make me really happy if you did.


	13. A Temoprary Resolution

**A/N:** Hey, it's me again... 'Neways I'm back, sorry for taking forever and a few days to update this... I didn't forget about it, I was just swamped with school work and doctor's appointments and that such.

**Rising Angel:** She's lying, sorta, she spent a good amount of time on this _other_ anime site that she just loves. But what she said above was true.

**Nanie-san:** And now, my friends, I present you with the next chapter!

**Disclaimer: **Oh yeah, I forgot to say before, I do not own CCS, Clamp does...

_Previously:_

_He thought about the bloodstained bandages that were wrapped around Tomoyo's head and hand. "I'm such an idiot, I should have realized, I should have stopped her."_

**Chapter 13: **A Temporary Resolution

"She cut herself, I am correct are I not," said the woman across from Sonomi. And yet again all Sonomi could do was nod her head. "It's not the end, it's as tough as journeying though hell itself but it's not the end of hope."

Sonomi continued to stare down at her coffee. The rain pounded outside. Finally she picked up the cup and had a sip then set it down again. "Hell is the end of hope," she muttered.

"No, there you're wrong. This "hell" that you're going through isn't the end of hope, rather the pathway to redemption. I had a girl like her. Today she's fine, but I didn't realize all that was going on until one day I found out through one of her friends that though I should know. It was only the beginning, that mental "hell" that we went though. I felt so useless and pathetic at the time, and she the same. It was from that mental healing that we spent together that we became close, I took more time off to be with her, and she I. That "hell" was only the beginning to a path of healing, and no matter what you'll need to face it."

Sonomi now looked up at the woman, her eyes filled with tears and heart with sorrow. "There is hope, it will work out. That is what you are saying right?"

"Yes."

Sonomi stood then. "Thank you, I must go now," she said. The woman nodded and smiled at her.

"Yes, you need to go now. Go and the best of luck to you with you daughter."

And those words were their words of parting, Sonomi heading off in one direction and the woman walking back to a different table.

"Do you think that everything will be alright Mom?" a girl asked the woman.

"Yes, my darling, I think that now it should all go fine. That is, all go fine minus a few bumps and rough times on the road ahead of them. It should all work out."

The girl smiled at her mother then and holding hands the walked out of the store together as the first ray of sun after the rain fell across their faces.

The sun started to come out and Tomoyo shivered. It was then that how cold she was finally sank in. Slowly she stopped the swing and stood. Then after looking up to the sky one last time she began to walk the way home.

"Welcome home my dear!" Sonomi said warmly as Tomoyo walked through the door to their house. Quickly Sonomi wrapped a warm towel around her daughter and then hugged her close.

"I'm sorry, Mom, I'm so sorry," was all Tomoyo could say. She felt so angry at herself for everything that had happened. "I'll be right back," she then said as she pulled out of her mother's embrace, took of her shoes, and then headed up to her room. Upon entering she took off her other outfit and threw it across the floor not caring for neatness at the moment. She pulled on a faded, blue, cotton shirt and a light grey t-shirt over it. Then she put on a pair of dark blue cargo pants and white socks. Quickly she ran back down the stairs only to find her mother standing at the bottom waiting for her with hot cocoa.

It was a week later and Monday now, though Tomoyo had yet to return to school. Rather she had spent her time with her mother, talking, bonding, and "Bonding", which was watching James Bond movies on tv together.

Early that morning the phone rang. "It's for you, Tomoyo-chan!" called out her mother.

Tomoyo picked up the phone and was delighted to hear Sakura's voice on the other end.

"Tomoyo-chan," said Sakura. "We'd all like it if you came back to school today!" finished a chorus of her friends from the phone.

Tomoyo felt tears come to her eyes, they all wanted her back! It was so wonderful! "Please Tomoyo-chan," she heard Chiharu say. "Yes, come Tomoyo-chan, come," she heard Takota add. Suddenly all the voices on the other line became a mixture of pleading her to come. "Yes, I'll come!" she answered happily. Oh was she glad for this day!

"Yay! We all really love you and care about you Tomoyo-chan and you had us so worried, just confirm that you're alright now before we get our hopes up," said Rika. "Yes, we do want to know," said all of the others together.

"I'm fine now, just fine. Actually I'm great. I'm sorry for worrying you."

"Yay! Yay, yay, yay!" she heard Sakura exclaim in the background.

And so she hung up the phone and rushed over to her closet and pulled out her school uniform and quickly yanked it on, anxious to get to school and see her friends.

**A/N:** And that's this chapter! I was gonna make it longer but I'm leaving for the weekend to be without computer nor internet and I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer so here's the chapter, a tad shorter than I wanted it though... Anyways please review! Ja ne!


	14. A Kiss on the Cheek and a Memory

**A/N:** Sorry for not updating, I've got some excuses but don't feel like listing them, if you really want them request in a review... but I bet that you don't... On with the story now!

**Rising Angel: **Yes, it's around time that you do the story. A slight hint is that despite the last chapter all is not well.

**Nanie-san:** Shh! Baka, don't tell them!

**Rising Angel:** Oh, in previous chapters you spelled Sayoran's name wrong, it's S-A-Y-O-R-A-N, not S-Y-A-O-R-A-N, baka.

**Nanie-san:** Ano... opps... I'll go change all of those after this update...

**A/N: **And being the idiotic person I am Syaoran's name is actually spelled S-Y-A-O-R-A-N, I must thank Ohohen for this correction. And now I'm going to have to replace 14 chapters...

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Card Captor Sakura... Clamp does...

_Previously:_

_And so she hung up the phone and rushed over to her closet and pulled out her school uniform and quickly yanked it on, anxious to get to school and see her friends._

**Chapter 14: **A Kiss on the Cheek and a Memory

The day of school had been interesting for Tomoyo. Everyone seemed glad to have her back and alright, many asked what had been wrong. Her friends hadn't told them, they said it was her place to. Tomoyo couldn't managed to tell them though, she had just said that she had slipped into a bit of depression and was alright now. Everyone seeing that she wasn't ready to talk hadn't bothered about prying into things then. Everything seemed to go normally after that, too normal.

Tomoyo sighed as she boarded the bus. It was weird riding the bus now, but her mother had wanted her to, so she did. She looked around looking for an open seat and saw one by a nice looking boy. She sat down beside him and looked down at her legs. The day had been too normal, mostly due to her seeing Eriol with his girlfriend. The seemed so happy together. His current girlfriend's name was Reika.

Reika was pretty, smart and really cared about Eriol. Tomoyo remembered the way that she saw Eriol smile at her, he was really in love with this girl. "No room for foolish me," thought Tomoyo.

"Hey, my name's Kai, what's yours?"

Tomoyo looked over, jerked from her thoughts by the boys sudden words. "My name's Tomoyo," she said almost sadly.

"You're really pretty," Kai said to Tomoyo. "And it also seems that you're new to riding on the bus, wanna sit by me tomorrow?"

"Sure," Tomoyo responded. After all Kai looked much nicer than the other kids on the bus. The other kids had chains and spikes on and looked like a scary crowd, they also had tattoos of all sorts of hideous things running down their arms and such. Kai on the other hand looked normal, no chains, no spikes, no tattoos, nothing scary like that.

"Hey, smile a bit more. I'm sure that you'd look really pretty with a smile on your face."

Tomoyo looked over and smiled slightly.

"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Kai smiled at her. "So what's wrong? You looked like you just took a one way trip to hades and somehow pulled yourself back..."

"It's nothing, just some stuff going on at school today, that's all. Everything will be better tomorrow."

Kai nodded, she didn't look like it was just one day of school, but she just met him so she'd probably not be ready to bring her troubles to him. He smiled and waved goodbye as Tomoyo stood up to get off the bus as they made it to her stop. "One minute," Kai said suddenly while standing and holding his arms out. "Good bye hug?" He then realized that the girl probably wasn't used to that sort of thing and quickly said, "I give them to all my friends."

Tomoyo nodded and hugged him lightly then walked off of the bus. For the next week she made an extra effort to smile in front of Kai and be friendly, thought the more she tried the harder it got, after all every day at school all she could do was watch Eriol and Reika passing notes to each other and eating lunch together and then Eriol bringing her presents and such.

"What the heck is happening to my life," Tomoyo muttered one night before bed. She felt like a whirlwind was constantly tossing her around. "I can't talk to Mother over all of this, it would worry her again and I don't want to bother the others. But my life feels like such a wreck, watching Eriol, loving Eriol, acting normal in front of everyone else, what's happening to me? Why can't you just notice me Eriol-kun?"

Tomoyo laid down on her bed staring at the ceiling. She heard a song come on the radio, it was a girl singing about how happy she was over her true love, and then a guy singing to the girl how they were meant for each other and how he loved her so. Before she realized it Tomoyo had sat up and smashed her fist down on the off button on her radio. The song reminded her too much of Eriol and Reika, and her lost love. She started to cry, her hot, salty tears sliding down her cheeks reminding her of how pathetic she was. "Why her Eriol-kun? Why not me, what is so bad about me? What's so great about her?" She walked over to her bathroom and turned on the bath water, letting the sound of the running water drown out the sound of her crying.

Sakura smiled as she stepped into the bathtub full of warm water.

"Kaiju, telephone!" she heard her brother call.

Sakura slowly stood up and stepped out of the tub, letting water drip over the floor. "One minute!" she called while wrapping a towel around herself and then running over to her room to grab her wireless phone. "Moshi moshi," she said into the phone as she picked it up off the hook and pressed the on button. She could her the sound of her brother putting the phone he picked up back on the receiver.

"Hi Sakura-chan, it's me, Sayoran."

Sakura smiled and ran back over to the bathroom and threw her towel on the floor and hopped back into the tub.

"Hi Sayoran-kun! How are you, is everything alright?"

"Hai, Sakura-chan, everything's fine at the moment. I was just wondering if you were busy at the moment or if you had time for me to ask you something."

"What is it?" Sakura asked while grabbing a bar of soap in her left hand and a razor to shave her legs with in her right hand. She then realized her folly, while grabbing the razor she had dropped the phone into the water...

"Hoe!" she shouted while dropping the razor into the water so she could grab the phone and also squeezing the soap a tad bit too tight so that it shot from her hand, flew three feet up into the air, flipped in a circle, and then landed in the tub with a big splash that got water into Sakura's eyes. Sakura frantically began reaching around in the tub trying to get the phone and razor out while also attempting to blink the water from her eyes. Finally she managed to grab the soap with her left hand, put it on the side of the tup, finish blinking the water from her eyes and then try to grab the razor with her left hand and the phone with her right. Finally she managed to get a hold of the razor, throw it next to the soap and then pick up the phone. All of this she did in the record timing of fifteen seconds.

"Ano... is everything alright Sakura-chan? Sayoran asked.

"H-hai, everything's fine," Sakura finally managed to answer. "So what is it that you wanted to ask me?" she asked cheerily while deciding to wait off shaving her legs until after she was off the phone with Sayoran. The surprising part of it all in being that the phone even still worked...

"I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me for supper tomorrow if you don't have anything going on?"

"Hai! I'd love to!" Sakura exclaimed while managing to drop the phone again, but this time luckily catch it before it hit the water.

Tomoyo sadly looked over at Sakura and Sayoran as she entered the school building and headed towards her locker. The two of them were debating places to go out to at and agreeing upon a time. She imagined herself and Eriol standing there doing the same, then Reika walked by. She saw her waking towards her locker and say her surprise when she opened it and a present from Eriol was inside. "Baka," muttered Tomoyo knowing that her words were unfair and out of jealously. After all, it wasn't Reika's fault that Eriol liked her and she liked him, that was love. Tomoyo felt tears coming to her eyes as she watched Eriol walk over to Reika and smile at her. She could hear him ask her out on a date, and she could hear Reika's excited "hai". She turned away and quietly gathered the books from her locker and walked off to class, not caring that she'd be the first in the room.

She watched as the other kids then began to fill up the classroom and then begin to talk about the latest, greatest, hottest singer of the week.

"Reika-chan," Tomoyo asked while hiding her pain and filling her voice with curiosity, "when did you and Eriol-kun get together?"

Reika looked over at Tomoyo and smiled. "It was about a week ago, I transfered here and there were a few boys bulling me. Eriol-kun came over and told them to stop. Afterward we spent the next few days together and then he asked me to go out with him. When we first met he looked sorta sad, he was blaming himself for something but wouldn't say what. Though after about three days he started to feel better."

"Oh, I see," Tomoyo said while nodding. "It's just that I wasn't here and was kinda surprised that he had a girlfriend and didn't tell me, usually he does." Tomoyo then gave Reika a really convincing fake smile and walked back to her desk. "In just a few days over one week of my absence he already has a new girlfriend," she thought sadly.

"Tomoyo-chan," asked Eriol while walking over to her, "ano.. I was wondering, since you know that I'm with Reika and just talked with her... and well... I was wondering if... you could... give me advice on what to get her as a gift for our date tonight... if that's alright..."

"Sure!" Tomoyo said with a fake smile and fake happiness. "Perhaps you should get her a necklace, or a pair of earrings, or maybe some bracelets. She'd look really pretty with jewelry on and I'm sure that she'd like some."

"Thanks Tomoyo-chan, you're a real life saver," Eriol said quickly while turning and running back over to his seat.

Tomoyo walked onto the bus after school that day looking sad. She sat down by Kai and tried to smile but it wasn't working too well. Kai knew that she wasn't ready to talk so he slowly put one of his arms around her shoulders.

"Hey, everything's gonna be okay, alright?" he said.

Tomoyo nodded, though she couldn't believe his words. She felt a tad uncomfortable with his arm around her shoulders but said nothing, she didn't want to offend him. "Arigato, Kai-kun," she mumbled while looking down at her legs. The whole way home she could feel his arm around her, could feel her own uncomfortableness.

After arriving at her stop she stood up to go but stopped as she felt Kai grab her hand lightly.

"Yes," she said.

"Let me tell you a secret," he said and leaned towards her ear with his hand forming a cup around her ear as if to tell her a secret. He leaned forewards and the kissed her on the cheek then let go of her hand and sat back down.

Tomoyo walked off the bus trying to act normal and cool though she was blushing quite a bit. Once the bus pulled away she put her hand to her cheek where Kai had kissed her.

"Kami-sama, how am I going to face riding the bus home tomorrow?" she mentally asked. "I don't want to face him again, I don't want him to put his arms around me again, I don't want him to kiss me again! I want him to leave me alone!" She ran the block from where her bus stop was to her house crying silent tears and trying to forget what happened, but somehow it just kept nagging at the back of her mind. What was she going to do? Did that count as her first kiss? She remembered something else that made her mad, on an online rpg a year ago someone had asked her to be his online girlfriend. She liked Eriol then, but had agreed anyways. Shortly after she had broken up with the guy, but it nagged at her mind constantly for quite some time, and now it was nagging at her mind again, was he her first boyfriend? She had wanted to save that position for Eriol and Eriol alone, but she had been blinded by sorrow and wanting to know what it was like to have a boyfriend so she agreed, even though she barely knew the guy and didn't even love him. Had she now lost both her first kiss and first boyfriend? She couldn't just talk about this to anyone, it was to private, to personal, to stupid of her. "I'm so stupid!" she screamed, though no one was around to hear her.

**A/N:** So what do you think? It was 5 and a half pages long, is that a good length or too long or two short? Also what do you think, should Kai's kiss be her first or not be counted as so? And what about the online guy, should he be her first boyfriend and date, or not really? Well answer in a review please!


	15. Taking Action: Meiling’s Call

**A/N: **And now, inspired by Ohohen's quick updates, I am going to type up chapter 15! (Though I was hoping to get a few more people to review... And thanks for all of the review's Ohohen, they made me feel really good!)

**Rising Angel: **And as of this chapter Nanie is gonna start calling Meilin Meiling instead. She's just too lazy to change the other 14 chapters after doing it so much with Syaoran... you know, first calling him Li, then Syaoran, then Sayoran, and then Syaoran again. Confusing, ne?

**Nanie-san:** Oh, and this chapter is mainly going to not focus on Tomoyo, rather it will focus on Meiling, Reika, and Eriol a bit.

**Disclaimer:** CCS doesn't belong to myself, it belongs to this wonderful group called Clamp.

_Previously:_

"_I'm so stupid!" she screamed, though no one was around to hear her._

**Chapter 15: **Taking Action: Meiling's Call

Reika looked over at Eriol lovingly. He had brought her to a really fancy restaurant and was now treating her to a meal. When she started loving Eriol as more than just a friend she expected nothing like this, she didn't expect him to be rich and living in a mansion or for him to bring her to a place like this and even then be treating her. The more and more time they spent together the more she realized what a kind heart Eriol had.

"Reika-chan," Eriol began. They had just finished the meal and were walking out of the restaurant.

"Hai, Eriol-kun," the girl answered. She could feel that there was uncertainty his voice.

"I was wondering, I know this would be rude of me but I've thought of something that I must do. Would you mind me cutting our date short and not taking you anywhere else tonight?"

Reika smiled, he had such a kind heart. "Eriol-kun, you're already done so much for me tonight, more than I ever dreamed for, of course you may go. And good luck with whatever it is," she said while turning around and waving. "If you don't mind, the night's nice so I'll walk home alone and you can go off to attend to whatever you need to. I only live a three blocks away from here so I'll be fine, kay? And thanks for the wonderful night!"

"No, it's I who should be thanking you. Good night." Eriol then watched her turn and run off. He then turned around and headed off to Syaoran's, Meiling would be there and he needed to speak with her.

'Knock, knock!'

Meiling ran over to answer the door. "Konbanwa, Eriol-kun. Syaoran-kun's at the store right now if you wanted to talk with him, gomen nasai," apologized the girl.

"Iie, Meiling-chan, it's you that I came to talk with."

"Me?" said Meiling confused, she then smiled. "Well then come sit down and I'll put on hot cocoa.

Eriol sat down and thanked Meiling with a nod as she appeared three minutes later handing him a cup of cocoa while sitting down and sipping on her own.

"So, what is it?" she asked.

"Remember how you told me about your problem while we were going out?" he asked. "I know this may be hard, but I would be best if you told Yelan-san. Onegai, Meiling-chan, it would be for the best. I meant to speak to you before, but with Tomoyo ending up hurt and all I... I..." Eriol looked down ashamed. "I forgot," he finally managed to say.

Meiling looked over at him, tears brimming in her eyes. "I'd be scared," she said, "but you're right, I should tell her. Please, be with me when I do, hold my hand or something, just don't let me be alone."

Eriol could sense her fear, sense her anxiety at the moment. "I know it's late now, but it may not leave you able to sleep or concentrate at school if you wait it off. Let's call now, and I promise that I'll be right beside you through it all, I am your friend, am I not? So why would I deny being there for you when you need me?"

Meiling set her cocoa down and threw her arms around Eriol while sobbing. She was scared and anxious. She could feel her chest tighten and a knot form in her stomach. But she was so relieved that he'd be there with her. Slowly she let go of him and wiped the tears from her eyes. She then picked up the phone and began dialing the number for her Aunt Yelan's house in China. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest as the phone rang.

It was now two hours later since Meiling made the fateful phone call to Yelan. Two hours, many tears, three cups of tea, a lot of support and encouragement from Eriol and many words from Yelan. Some of them almost scolding for her not speaking up earlier and others of discussion of a brighter future, that included both pressing charges for child abuse against Meiling's aunt and uncle and involved her getting to go with Sarrin for at least a little while.

**A/N:** Well this is it for now, I know it's short but I only got one review for the last chapter and no answers to my questions... which kinda determine how I'm gonna have Tomoyo feel later... Anyway more reviews will make me update quicker and make a longer chapter. (Oh, unlike my other chapter this only makes about 2 and 1/3 pages... kinda way too short but as said above...)


	16. A Rough Night

**A/N:** Hey, it's me... I'm not gonna be able to update again for a week because I'm not going to have internet access (or computer access for that matter) because I'm going to stay at my aunt's house. So enjoy this chapter and once I get back I'll work on an update... And wish me luck, I've gotta be at the hospital tomorrow at 5:30 A.M. for a test thingy... (I've gotta get up at 4:00 A.M. to get ready to leave...)

**Nanie-san: **One other thing, I offer my condolences to those who may have family or friends that suffered injuries or died in the terroristic attacks in London.

Also, special thanks to my friends, reviewers, my Mother, and those who support me in writing. I'm planing to finish typing up a story and my mom has agreed to let me publish it when it's done, so now I must figure out publishing... my aunt said she'd help me do that to. (I love all my aunts, they're so nice to me!)

**Rising Angel:** Also, Nanie-san has Tomoyo use the word "daisuki" in this chapter, it translates to "I love you" or "I really like you". If you ever have any questions as to the Japanese that she may randomly use you should ask her in a review. She'd be glad to answer to the best of her ability.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CCS, I never will... Clamp owns CCS, always will...

_Previously:_

_It was now two hours later since Meiling made the fateful phone call to Yelan. Two hours, many tears, three cups of tea, a lot of support and encouragement from Eriol and many words from Yelan. Some of them almost scolding for her not speaking up earlier and others of discussion of a brighter future, that included both pressing charges for child abuse against Meiling's aunt and uncle and involved her getting to go with Sarrin for at least a little while._

**Chapter 16: **A Rough Night

Tomoyo sighed as she thought about her problems. She finally settled upon this: the guy online that she had agreed to was not her boyfriend, had never been. A boyfriend is someone you love, and she didn't love him. As for the kiss that Kai had given her, she felt it was just an "innocent peck on the cheek", not first kiss, though still, she didn't know how she was going to face him on the bus ride home from school.

She looked down, sadly smiling. "I'm such a mental wreck," she muttered to herself. All she was ever doing anymore was getting herself into more and more problems, each one more complicated than the next. "Baka," she mentally screamed at herself while pulling off her outfit and putting on a nightgown.

The nightgown was black, it matched how she felt in a way. Lately she had been wearing more and more black. Even if she wasn't wearing all black she seemed to be wearing some and if not she was in dark colors, depressed colors, sad colors.

She pressed the button to turn on her radio and listened as she heard the announcer speak.

"And now for tomorrow's weather forecast," droned the announcer's voice through the radio, "cloudy with scattered rain and thunderstorms."

"Joy," Tomoyo sarcastically thought. "I wish Eriol-kun would love me," she thought while longingly envisioning herself with Eriol. "Maybe Eriol-kun just dates so many girls because he needs to feel loved. Maybe it's because he doesn't live with his parents and thus doesn't feel love from them and feels love from those that he dates," she thought suddenly. "And maybe, maybe he feels that I couldn't love him like that, or that I'm not good enough, or maybe he doesn't even think of me."

"Just tell him how you feel," part of her mind screamed, while another screamed the consequences.

"He'd reject you, he has a girlfriend and they love each other. Who are you to make him feel bad for that? And he'd reject you, do you really want to take that chance?"

"In love you've got to take chances."

"Or be smart enough not to take them."

"Just shut up!" Tomoyo mentally screamed at herself. Her mental argument wasn't getting her anywhere. She laid down staring up at the ceiling as best as she could due to the darkness of her room. "I wonder where Eriol-kun's parent's are," she though. She closed her eyes to ponder that for what she thought would only be a moment, though after only a few moments she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. "Daisuki, Eriol-kun," she unconsciously whispered in her sleep.

Eriol woke up gasping for breath while glancing over at his clock, it read 4:30 A.M. He had been having a nightmare of sorts. Someone, he was trying to protect someone, and she was dying. "Dreams often hold value," he told himself, knowing that something must be wrong then for such a dream to happen. Sweat covered his body and his pajamas clung to his skin. He got out of bed slowly and walked over to his dresser to take out a different pair of pajamas. His face flushed red as he realized that the pair that he pulled out was that of the pair he was wearing the day he and Tomoyo walked to school together, the Bob-the-Builder pair.

He only had that pair because Nakuru thought it would make a good joke and bought them for him and made sure that they were his only clean pair for that night. She had told him later about plotting that, and what a great laugh it gave her. Eriol couldn't help but chuckle himself then, for he too found the humor in it despite his embarrassment at the time.

He then reached into his dresser and pulled out a different pair of pajamas this time, a cotton, navy blue pair. "These will do," he said in a quite voice while taking off his other pair and slipping the new ones on. His dream echoed through his mind, and worry began to over take him. He hardly slept the rest of the night. He kept waking up, kept feeling like he was suppose to protect someone, kept feeling like she was dying, like it was his fault. He could feel her reaching out for him, but try as he may he couldn't grasp her hand less than even catch a glimpse of her.

"Who is she?" he pondered while making himself a cup of cocoa. It was late, or actually, since it was past midnight, it was technically early. He knew he'd be tired at school that day, but he still couldn't force sleep upon himself. Perhaps it was because of the day's events, more directly with events concerning Meiling. But even so, he knew that the person in his dreams wasn't Meiling, and that he was the cause of pain for the person in his dreams.

Too much had been happening lately, too much insecurity. Meiling had her problems with abuse, Tomoyo had landed herself in the hospital, and he, he felt so insecure for some reason. Try as he may, it was getting harder and harder to feel comfortable and at ease for him.

**A/N:** Hey, I hope you like it. It isn't that long (only 3 pages) but I'll try to do better next chapter. Oh, did I ever mention that Rising Angel is me just as is Nanie-san? Well she is, I used her to review under before I became an author and decided to do my author note stuff using two names, cool, ne? Well anyways I've gotta go now, need to get my sleep. Oh, review please even if all you say is update soon or something like that. Also, I'll try to update again before I leave, though I'm not sure if it will be this story or one of my others. Probably it will be either my other CCS one or my Tsubasa one, unlikely to be my Crest of the Stars one... Hey, you could read some of my other stories if you'd like. It would make me really happy!


	17. Chaos Ensues

**A/N: **Sorry that I didn't update in over a week. I'm gonna have to go for another week, but not yet. (Stupid author doesn't know which week it is that she's going camping for...) Anyway I'll try to get a few updates in before then! Oh, the other week at Hot Topic I got this really cool Fruits Basked t-shirt with Yuki on it, it's so Kawaii! And I've got a shirt from Tibet that my aunt gave me that is royal blue with gold dragons and red flowers and it looks Chinese-ish!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Card Captor Sakura, Clamp does.

**Claimer: **I do own original plot line and Sarrin and Takota!

_Previously:_

_Too much had been happening lately, too much insecurity. Meiling had her problems with abuse, Tomoyo had landed herself in the hospital, and he, he felt so insecure for some reason. Try as he may, it was getting harder and harder to feel comfortable and at ease for him._

**Chapter 17:** Chaos Ensues

Eriol walked into the school building and leaned his head against his locker. It was the first time that he ever came to school this tired, actually it was very rare to see him come to school tired at all. Usually he got good sleep, usually. But usually he didn't have dreams of suffering and pain keeping him up either.

"Who's suffering and why?" Eriol muttered to himself. "How is it my fault? Darn it I'm so confused!"

Reika walked over to Eriol smiling. "Eriol-kun," she said sweetly, "what's wrong? You don't look well."

She jumped at him, hugging him, and he pushed her away. He was breathing heavy, and she was scared, she had never seen him this way before.

"Why'd you do that, Eriol-kun? What's wrong? Do you hate me now? Are you okay?"

Her scared and anxious voice bombarded him with questions, making Eriol feel only worse. He felt her arms wrap around him again and this time didn't push her away. His arms were hanging at his side, he couldn't hug her back. Why, why couldn't he just hug her, she was the one he loved after all.

"What's wrong, Eriol-kun? Just tell me what's wrong," sounded Reika's soothing voice. "Just tell me, I'm sure it'll all turn out okay."

Eriol couldn't tell her, he couldn't tell anyone, he couldn't even move now. His body froze, but his mind was racing, all of everything, Tomoyo lying in a hospital bed, Tomoyo passing out at the park, Meiling crying while on the phone with Yelan, Sakura with her hurt ankle, Syaoran happily in love with Sakura, kissing her, showing Eriol the love that he himself wasn't able to have in return or give.

Suddenly his body unfroze. He pulled himself from Reika's hug and ran. He ran as fast as he could, not bothering to look where he was running, pushing himself beyond his usual limits. Reika screamed after him, he vaguely heard that, but didn't care.

He loved her, didn't he? So why, why couldn't he tell her, why didn't he care that she was sitting on the hallway floor tiles crying because of him.

Tomoyo walked into the school building. She was later than usually, but still had two minutes until class started. She walked over to her locker and out of the corner of her eye saw Reika jump into a hug for Eriol. She turned her head before she could see the rest, or even see her land the hug. She felt dizzy, like the whole world was spinning. She held onto her open locker door for support and quickly took out a bottle of Mountain Dew. Maybe all she needed was caffeine. She drank some and then put the bottle back, her head was spinning and she felt hot tears come down her face.

"I must act normal, I must not cry, I must act normal, I must not cry," she repeated to herself, but still her tears fell. She finished taking out her books and stood up and began to walk towards her first period class. Everyone else headed to the cafeteria to wait there until the bell rang, but Tomoyo didn't care, it'd be pointless to walk there if the bell would wring in a few moments anyways. She picked up her pace to a run, she couldn't just walk at this point, and running felt more soothing.

Eriol still ran on, not caring where he was going or that almost nobody was left in the locker area. He felt himself collide with something, rather someone. He felt his body fall and hit the ground and closed his eyes tightly upon feeling pain in his arm and back, surely he bruised both. "I'm sorry," he mumbled with his eyes still closed.

"It's my fault," Tomoyo said meekly while sitting up, and just then realizing it was Eriol that she ran into. Or rather, that they had run into each other. "Eriol-kun, are you alright?" she asked urgently. She could see that he was breathing harder and that it couldn't be from running, after all the locker area wasn't that big that someone running across it could be out of breath.

"I-I'm fine," he said, just then fully realizing who he hit into. He opened his eyes and could vaguely make out the form of his friend.

"You don't look well, Eriol-kun," said Meiling as she walked up to the two. She nodded towards Tomoyo and then knelt down and pressed the back of her hand against Eriol's forehead. "You're head feels feverish, and your eyes indicate it too."

Reika had came over by then and also knelt down. "Eriol-kun you should go to the nurse's office if you're not feeling well."

She looked over. "Oh, hello Sakura-chan," she said while looking down at her ankle. I see that your ankle is better.

Sakura smiled. "Yes, it only took about seven days to heal, since then I've been fine."

"I'm sorry I didn't notice before," Reika said happily. "If I had I would've taken you somewhere with everyone else to celebrate it's healing."

Sakura blushed a shade of deep red, remembering how Syaoran had carried her up to the nurse's office and then to her house also.

"You're face is all red, Sakura-chan, are you alright?" asked Sarrin who then walked up.

Sakura nodded, but began blushing only more as the person of her thoughts walked up and then hugged her.

"Hello Syaoran-kun!" exclaimed Meiling.

"Don't we get a hello?" came the voice of Takota, who had Rika and Chiharu standing behind him and Naoko standing beside him holding his hand.

"Of course you get a 'hello' too!" exclaimed Meiling.

Reika smiled, she was glad that after she became Eriol's girlfriend their group had easily made room for her to join them.

"Yes, and now if your happy reunion in the hallway is over I'd like an explanation as to why Hiragazawa-san is half lying half sitting on the floor, why Daidouji-san is sitting on the floor, and why-" said the principal, though she was suddenly cut off by Syaoran.

"And why Meiling-chan and Reika-chan are kneeling next to Eriol-kun and why Sarrin-chan is standing over there and why Takota-kun, Naoko-chan, Rika-chan and Chiharu-chan are all standing over there and-" Syaoran was cut off by the principal then.

"And why you, Li-san, are over there hugging Kinomoto-san and you're all seven minutes late for class!"

"I'm sorry, ma'am, it's all my fault," said Tomoyo while looking down. "I accidently ran into Eriol-kun and-"

"-and that doesn't explain why the rest of them are here and seven minutes late for class!" boomed her voice, which only made Tomoyo cry harder.

"How dare you make Tomoyo-chan cry like that without even listening to the rest of the explanation!" boldly shouted out Reika.

"Tomoyo-chan and Eriol-kun ran into each other and then I came over to see if they were alright," began Meiling suddenly. "Eriol-kun didn't look well and I felt his forehead to see if he had a fever, which he did. I mentioned that and Reika-chan, his girlfriend, came over because she was worried."

"I was even more worried because Eriol-kun had been acting weird earlier," added Reika innocently.

"He's always acting weird," said Syaoran, though that was expected from him.

"Anyway I came over to see if he was alright and then Sakura-chan came up," said Reika who decided to finished the story.

"I came because Eriol-kun didn't look well and was seemed to have a worried Meiling-chan and Reika-chan over him and I wanted to see that he was alright or if anything was wrong and if there was anything I could do," added Sakura.

"And then I commented on her ankle being fine and how I didn't notice earlier because I'm an idiot," stated Reika bluntly.

"You're hardly an idiot," Eriol added, though the principal didn't pay attention to that.

"And then that made me think of Syaoran-kun who helped me so much-" began Sakura, only to be cut off by Meiling.

"And her face turned a beautiful shade of red and I came over to see if she was okay since everyone else was on the floor," added Sarrin. "And then Syaoran-kun came over because he was worried about Sakura-chan... and maybe Eriol-kun too..."

"I was not worried about him!" inserted Syaoran angrily, though he knew that secretly he was worried about his friend.

"Some friend you are," muttered Eriol.

Takota decided that it was his turn to speak then. "Naoko and I were in the hallway and glanced over at the group on the floor, from a distance we couldn't see clearly what was going on and so we decided to go make sure everything was alright."

"And we," said Rika, "saw what was going on and wondered if anyone was hurt."

"So we did the obvious and followed Takota-kun and Naoko-chan over here," finished Chiharu.

"And somehow we all managed to not hear the bell," said Tomoyo while looking at the ground. "I'm sorry," she added again.

"All of you, get up!" said the very ticked-off principal.

Eriol watched everyone else stand up and stood up slowly, holding onto Reika's arm for support.

Tomoyo stood, her head was still spinning from earlier, suddenly she fell backwards as everything went dark.

"Tomoyo-chan!" shouted Reika, who noticed the girl pass out and the thunk as her limp body hit the ground.

"D-D-Daiouji-san!" panicked the principal.

Eriol looked over as he heard Reika shout out Tomoyo's name. His head hurt him badly and mentally he was still going through the same heck as before. He watched, scared, as her limp body hit the ground. His breathing had still been heave, and now watching his friend fall like that he couldn't handle everything, he felt himself fall onto the ground onto his hands and knees and Reika's hands as she tried to keep him from falling. Everything was spinning around him, he could vaguely hear the principal shout out his last name and the he lost consciousness.

"Daidouji-san! Hiragazawa-san!" shouted the panicking principal.

"Eriol-kun, Eriol-kun!" sobbed Reika as everyone either rushed over to Eriol or Tomoyo and the principal ran back-and-forth between the two screaming for someone to schedule and appointment with her psychiatrist and for someone to bring her Tylenol and someone to tell her what to do now with to unconscious students lying on the floor and nine students running around them and then she too fainted.

**A/N: **Well it's a little bit over five pages long and so I'll end this chapter here. Perhaps I'll pull off another update today also for this story. I know I'm going to update one of my other ones and perhaps all of them first though... Anyways until then, remember to read and review!

**Rising Angel: **So does anyone like the chapter title?

**Syaoran: **They all hate it.

**Rising Angel: **Didn't Hiei-san kill you a few chapters ago?

**Syaoran: **No, I won... left him alive though...

**Nanie-san: **Well I hope you liked it!


	18. The Question

**A/N:**

**Disclaimer:**

_Previously:_

"_Eriol-kun, Eriol-kun!" sobbed Reika as everyone either rushed over to Eriol or Tomoyo and the principal ran back-and-forth between the two screaming for someone to schedule and appointment with her psychiatrist and for someone to bring her Tylenol and someone to tell her what to do now with to unconscious students lying on the floor and nine students running around them and then she too fainted._

**Chapter 18:** The Question

Tomoyo woke up, she was lying on a bed in the nurse's office with her friends all leaning over her looking down at her. She heard a voice that sounded like Meiling's saying that she was awake.

Tomoyo sat up and rubbed her head, earlier she hadn't been feeling so well, but now she felt fine... well fine except for the tiny bit of a headache that she had.

"Great job, Tomoyo-chan! You aided in making our principal pass out, sorry that I wasn't there to see it!" exclaimed Yamazaki while smiling. "I would have been there except I was off on the other side of the building stuck in the teacher's office getting a lecture on which shoe-laces are proper for school... apparently she didn't like my cool pair..."

Chiharu turned and grabbed Yamazaki around the neck and promptly began to choke him while muttering something about how he shouldn't bother Tomoyo.

"Sorry about him," she said suddenly while smiling and turning to face Tomoyo.

"Can't... breathe... Need... oxygen... or... I'll... die..." gasped Yamazaki.

The nurse walked over then and took Tomoyo's temperature. "97.5 degrees Fahrenheit normal," she said smiling. "You may go back to class now if you're feeling well and you're friends may leave now also."

"Aah," moaned a voice coming from a different area of the nurse's office. "Psychiatrist, somebody call my psychiatrist..."

"Hey, you're up now!" exclaimed Takota while walking over to the area where the voice came from. "Nice to see that you're back among the living, Principal-sama!"

A look of horror crossed the face of the principal as she promptly fell back onto the pillows. "No! No more! Save me from these monestrous kids! Ah! My head, it aches. Advil, someone bring me Advil!"

"Sure thing!" said Takota energetically while he walked over to the nurse.

"The Principal-sama needs some Advil!"

"She also needs rest, relaxation, her psychiatrist and you to leave her alone," scowled the nurse.

Eriol awoke to find himself lying in his own bed with Nakuru leaning over him. His head was pounding and his vision was slightly blured.

"Hello, Eriol-kun!" exclaimed the overly hyper girl. "Glad to see that you're up! The nurse called just a bit ago and said that you passed out in the hallway and that you were running a fever and for me to come and pick you up to take you home! So I went and brought you back here! Are you feeling better yet?"

"My head hurts still, thank you for taking care of me. What happened to Tomoyo?"

"Oh, she returned to class. She was leaving the nurse's office just as I arrived to pick you up, she seemed really worried. You should give her a call once school ends to let her know that you're mostly all right now!"

The navy haired boy leaned back on his pillows and closed his eyes. "Until then I'll rest some more."

Nakuru smiled as she watched the boy fall into a deep slumber. He could be so ignorant when it came to some things, especially finding the one that loved him. "Sleep well," she murmured to him while smiling.

The day had passed quickly for Tomoyo and before she knew it she was boarding the bus.

"Hello, Tomoyo-chan, how was your day?" asked a voice.

Tomoyo looked over at the speaker and saw that it was Kai. The boy was motioning for her to sit by him and so she did. She looked at him and said, "not too bad I guess... I passed out this morning and awoke in the nurse's office. Takota-kun was doing his best to drive our principal crazy, he may have succeeded in doing so. Eriol-kun also passed out. He was sent home because he also had a fever, I hope that he's all right. So how are you?"

Kai smiled at Tomoyo. "I'm pretty good, my day wasn't nearly as exciting as yours though. All that happened was a kid in my chemistry class was playing around with some chemicals and dumped quite a few onto his notebook." The boy held the girl's hand and began to stroke it with his thumb.

Time was passing slowly for Tomoyo, contrary to how the rest of the day was. The bus ride seemed to last for forever. She smiled slightly as the bus approached her stop. She was just about to stand up as she heard Kai's voice.

"Tomoyo-chan, I was wondering and now I'll ask you. Would you be my girlfriend?"

**A/N: **Well I know that this chapter's really short, but I hope you like it. Remember to review! Also, I started up a Harry Potter fic and would be pleased if you would read that.


	19. A Bad Decision

**A/N:** Sorry for taking forever, I've been working on another fan fic (Harry Potter), if you like the series please read it! And then I'm also busy with band camp this week and then will be the school year, but I'll be trying to pull of updates when I have the time to type.

**Disclaimer: **Card Captor Sakura is Clamp's.

_Previously:_

"_Tomoyo-chan, I was wondering and now I'll ask you. Would you be my girlfriend?"_

**Chapter 19: A Bad Decision**

Tomoyo could feel her heart beating in her chest, hear it echoing through her ears. Her head was spinning and she felt dizzy. No, she couldn't say yes, but then Kai would be sad. She loved Eriol. Kai loved her.

"I-I-I've got to go!" she said as she turned and ran off the bus. She stumbled and fell on the ground, brush burning her knees and hands. She got up and ran, the world was spinning around her, she couldn't focus on anything. She ran across the street and vaguely heard the sounds of angry people and car horns. She stumbled to the door and fumbled around for her keys with numb fingers. The lock clicked and she pushed the door open without taking out the key.

She ran up to her room, crying. "I can't! I can't tell him 'no' but there's no way that I'm going to say 'yes'. Oh please, Lord, don't let me face him tomorrow, don't make me ride the bus tomorrow, don't make me!" she mentally sobbed. "I can't do it, I can't say 'no', I can't say 'no', I just can't! He'd be sad and he's helped me so much. But I love Eriol-kun!"

Her chest felt funny, sort of tingly and her head hurt. Her breathing was heavy and her body was shaking. Her mind felt numb and she felt dread of the next day, of Kai, beyond what she had ever felt before. She felt herself leaning against the wall for support, her legs shaking out of control.

She felt her way to the bathroom and threw up. Her breathing was still heavy and her body still shaking beyond control. Her mind felt numb and dread still consumed her being. Anxiety pounded in her chest with ever beat of her heart. Her heart was still pounding in her chest and echoing through her ears. She opened the cabinet and reached in, grabbing the razor. Cold metal crossed skin and warm blood flowed.

She watched the blood flowing from her palm down her arm, feeling it's warmth, calming her. Somehow it calmed her, before it had made her worse, and now it made her feel better. Slowly her breathing returned to normal, her heartbeat seemed to take regularity, anxiety started to ebb away.

**A/N:** I know, another short chapter. But I didn't want to put more into this one. Mostly it seems that anything to come would fall in the next chapter, that nothing more belongs in this one.

Also, a small note, do NOT do as Tomoyo did in any situations like hers. It's not the right thing to do and I don't want anyone doing it because of this chapter. Later it will occur to Tomoyo of its wrongness.


	20. Memory of Christmas

**A/N: **Hey, sorry it took me so long to write. I kinda got caught up in school and band practice after school four days a week and such. Anyway I'm home sick today (missing a field trip) so everybody that believes in God pray that I get better soon. And everybody know that I love you all and this story enough to type when I'm feeling miserable.

**To the Reviewers:** I thank you all so much for your reviews, they make me feel so good!

**Disclaimer: **Card Captor Sakura belongs to Clamp.

_Previously:_

_She watched the blood flowing from her palm down her arm, feeling it's warmth, calming her. Somehow it calmed her, before it had made her worse, and now it made her feel better. Slowly her breathing returned to normal, her heartbeat seemed to take regularity, anxiety started to ebb away._

**Chapter 20:** Memory of Christmas

Tomoyo had, after she cut herself and later stopped the bleeding, eventually gone downstairs and took her key out of the door. She closed it afterwards and went up to her room. Sitting on her bed she preceded to do her homework and then put on a shirt with sleeves long enough to cover her palm where she cut herself.

Her clock read 6:00 pm when she went downstairs for supper. Her mom wasn't home, there was a note on the fridge saying that she had to work overtime and wouldn't be home until past midnight.

Tomoyo looked at the note, she was glad that she wouldn't have to see her mom yet. She took out a pot and filled it with water and waited for it to boil. Then she added ramen noodles to it and a flavor packet. Six minutes later she was sitting in her room on her bed eating the soup.

She was listening to a CD called Fiction by Yuki Kajiura. The music was soothing her. Beside the computer was the case for the CD and the case for another CD, one by Gackt. Beside them was a note. She glanced over at them, smiling ever so slightly as the memory came into her head.

"_Tomoyo-chan, Merry Christmas!" said her friend while holding out a gift to her._

"_Eriol-kun, domo arigato gozaimasu!" responded Tomoyo. She paused for a moment and then pulled a gift out of her courier bag, which was a gift from Sakura. It was a black bag with a fairy on it._

"_For you, Eriol-kun, Merry Christmas," she said and then handed him the gift._

"_Domo arigato gozaimasu," the boy responded._

_Later, when Tomoyo was alone, she opened the gift Eriol had given her, it was two CD's, one by Yuki Kajiura and one by Gackt._

Tomoyo placed her chopsticks in her bowl and placed it on her nightstand, it could wait there 'till morning.

**A/N: **I know, I know, another short chapter. The next one will be longer, I swear. But I needed these short chapters for the emotional aspect and I couldn't very well fuse it from night to school the next day or a few days later. So anyway the next chapter will be better! Has anybody listened to Fiction or anything by Gackt before? Well I have Fiction (was listening to it while typing) but I haven't heard anything by Gackt before (though I heard he's good and really wanna).

Review please! Arigato for reading!


	21. Skipping School

**A/N: **Sorry for not updating in a while, between being sick twice, flunking a Chemistry test and the re-test, Spanish homework and other such stuff I've been pretty busy. Oh, I forgot to mention having to read Huckleberry Finn and take notes on it for English class and breaking a glass...

**Disclaimer: **Card Captor Sakura doesn't belong to me. But I do own this really cute doll of her! (Actually quite a few of her, two of Li and one of Meilin...) And Fiction doesn't belong to me, it's Yuki Kajiura's CD, I'm only lucky enough to have my very own copy!

_Previously:_

_Tomoyo's up in her room eating. She looks at two CDs that were from Eriol at Christmas time and she remembers the time they exchanged gifts. She also remembers a black courier bag that Tomoyo had gotten her that had a fairy on it. (The fairy is blue and looks really mystic and enchanting.)_

**Chapter 21: **Skipping School

Tomoyo woke up early. Her clock read 5:25 A.M. "I can't go there, I can't go today. I just can't," she whispered. Her thoughts raced. How could she not go? Her mother'd be there in the morning. She'd make sure she went to school.

Tomoyo grabbed her black courier bag with the fairy on it and quickly stuffed a pair of black pants in it. A black t-shirt with a fairy on it followed the pants. Following that was her CD player and CDs.

She walked over to the bathroom to get changed into her school uniform, and upon pulling off her pajama bottoms nearly screamed at the sight of red covering them. She quickly dug through the cabinet above the sink for a tampon.

"Damn it!" she cursed. It scared her now, that she was using language. After digging around for a few minutes, inserting it, and getting changed into her uniform she went back into her room. She turned on the lamp and nearly swore when she saw red on the sheets covering her bed, her favorite sheets.

She pulled the sheets off the bed and carried them over to the bathroom where she turned on the cold water in the tub and submerged the sheets in it for a few minutes while she fixed her hair and brushed her teeth. She then rinsed the sheets, rung them out and proceeded to carry them downstairs and over to the laundry room. There she proceeded to put them in the wash.

She ran up to her room and looked at the clock, 6:00. If she didn't hurry and get a move on it she'd appear to be late for school. Her day was already screwed up enough as it. She grabbed her courier bag and proceeded down the stairs. She grabbed two bottles of Mountain Dew from the refrigerator and stuffed them into the bag. She made herself a bowl of oatmeal and ate it, watching as her mother came down the stairs.

"Good morning mother," she said, smiling. She felt her voice come close to cracking and ate a few more bites of her oatmeal.

"I-I'm leaving for school early today, I was hoping to get in some study time so... umm... goodbye," she stuttered while getting up and putting her bowl in the sink. She pulled on a black sweater coat, grabbed her courier bag, and headed toward the door.

"Goodbye, hon, I'll be working overtime again today, don't wait up for me," Sonomi replied sleepily.

"Bye mom," Tomoyo said while walking out the door. She ran down the street towards the local Blitz, a small store and gas station, run by an old German ex Nazi fighter pilot. It was a nice store on the inside, and also had a girl's bathroom inside, of which Tomoyo was currently getting changed in. She walked out wearing her black pants, t-shirt and coat.

She felt her stomach cramping up and mentally cursed. She walked back into the bathroom and threw up. Not feeling much better she emerged again and left the store.

She walked down the street, feeling worse and worse as her stomach was cramping up. She couldn't go back home to get Midol, her mother'd still be there, and she couldn't go to school now because she'd be late and only attract attention as to why she was late.

She made it to Starbucks and walked in. She got a coffee and sat down, the lady who got her her coffee didn't know her, that was good. Then, at least, she couldn't tell her mother that she wasn't at school as she was supposed to be.

Tomoyo sat down at a booth, headphones on her ears as she listened to Fiction. She drank a few sips of her coffee, it was something that she never really loved. Sighing she then let it sit as she submitted herself fully to listening to the lyrics of the songs and to daydreaming. She'd figure out what she was going to do next later. For now all that mattered was the song, was the solace and peace of the moment.

**A/N:** Kinda short again and all but at least it's an update (my little sister was rushing me, elst I would've made it much longer). I swear I'll update sooner this time! So review and make me happy!


	22. Freaking Out

**Nanie: **Okay I'm back again and with Chapter 22! (Yes, I know, I should be working on Takarin or one of my others, but I feel in the mood for this...) And I've finally done it, that is, reached 100 unread e-mails in my inbox all from fanfic. So, using that as an excuse that I hadn't wanted I cleaned out my inbox...

**Disclaimer: **Card Captor Sakura doesn't belong to me. All I own is the wonderful dolls that I bought in the toy store... (and I own this wonderful t-shirt that says Anime Junkie on it, but that's beside the point...) I don't own Green Day or any of their music either... Oh, and the name Kairen is a play on Kayren, my friend's username on an online game that I play.

**Reviewers: **I love you guys (girls)! You've really brightened my days, THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH! And yeah, Eriol's the problem and guys are really slow, believe me I know they're slow, first hand experience there... And now, TA DA! The chapter!

And for those wondering most everybody brings in an average income. Tomoyo is somewhat rich, her mother still runs the toy company and when she's out it's all because of business meetings, some requiring private plane or train rides to get to.

Eriol himself is also pretty well off, he's got enough money to constantly dote on his current girlfriend and do such stuff.

Sakura's in a family with average income, though it strikes me amusing that she doesn't use the Create to make money...

_Previously:_

_Tomoyo, the naughty girl that she is, skipped school and is currently listening to music and sipping coffee at Starbucks, even though she's not a big coffee fan. _

**Chapter 22: **Freaking Out

Tomoyo debated what to do next. She could go back home now, her mother would be gone, and she could get the Midol that she needed. She could go wander around outside and hope she didn't run into any of her mother's friends. She could go out to eat for a proper breakfast or lunch somewhere. Or she could go to the mall and hang out there.

Finally she decided to just go home. She'd occupy herself there for awhile and then she'd go out for lunch. From there she'd figure out what she was going to do with the rest of her day.

Leaving Starbucks she opened up one of her Mountain Dews, it tasted so much better than the bitter coffee. She walked home slowly, just to be sure that her mother was gone even if she was running late.

She arrived at her house and fumbled through her bag for the key. Slowly she unlocked the door and walked in. She carefully locked it behind her and took off her shoes. She carried them up to her room with her and threw on the floor alongside her coat and bag. She went over to the medicine cabinet in her bathroom and opened it.

"Damn!" she cursed when she grabbed the box and found it empty. Silently fuming she threw the box on the ground. The phone rang. Not daring to answer it she rand down the stairs and heard the message coming through the answering machine in the living room.

"Hello, this is Ms. Kwando Kazukia calling from Tomoeda High because Tomoyo Daidouji is absent. I'm calling to confirm tha-" The sound ceased as Tomoyo muted the volume. After waiting a minute for the lady to finish speaking Tomoyo deleted the message, there was no need for her mother to hear it.

She thought she heard something. The sound of a car stopping. Glancing through the window shades she saw that indeed she had heard a car, her mother's car.

Panicking Tomoyo raced up to her room. She quickly closed her bathroom door and bedroom door, since they had been closed when she left that morning. She quickly threw her shoes, coat, and courier bag under her bed. She opened her Mountain Dew quickly and drank a gulp before closing it and shoving it in the bottom of her closet. Hearing the door open and her mother walking in she dove under the bed herself and held her breath as she listened to her heart race and beat in her ears.

She heard her mother walking up the stairs and as she did so she wondered why her mother was even home. It wasn't about her, Tomoyo was sure of that, the school didn't have her mother's cellphone number and wouldn't have called it even if they had had it. She almost cursed as she felt her cellphone in her pocket, it was making a noise. She pulled it out and looked at it, Sakura had text messaged her. Quickly she turned her cellphone off, before even reading the message. She held her breath as her door opened, surely her mother didn't know that she was skipping school that day.

"Ah, Tomoyo-chan."

Tomoyo felt her heart race faster, her mother knew she was here! Or at least, why else would she be talking to her. Tomoyo held her breath, her lungs felt like they'd burst without a breath of air.

"If only I could see you tonight," her mother continued, "but I'm going to be working late again."

Tomoyo mentally questioned herself why her mother wasn't scolding her but rather talking to her in a calm and collected manner.

"I guess I'd better write you a note so that you know I won't be home tonight. Yes, that'd be best. I'd hate for you to worry. It's such a shame that I've got to work so many late, overtime hours. It's really wearing me out."

So her mother didn't know she was home! Tomoyo felt her heart rate slow down a little.

"Thank you, Kami-sama!" she silently prayed. She heard her mother writing a note and saw her walking towards her. "Please, please, don't look under the bed."

She let out a small, silent sigh as her mother exited the room and closed the door. Still afraid to move from her hiding place Tomoyo stayed there for another ten minutes when her mother was gone.

She crept out from under the bed and let relief consume her, she hadn't been caught! She noticed that her mother had placed the note on her bed and she picked it up to read it.

_Dear Tomoyo-chan,_

_I'm sorry but I won't be home until very late tonight, probably no sooner than 1:30 AM. I'm sorry. You'll have to heat up something for supper for yourself, that or order a pizza or something. There's money on your desk if you want to do that. Take care of yourself. _

_Love,_

_Your Mother_

Tomoyo walked over to her desk and sure enough there was money there. She counted it, sixty dollars.

"Why mother," she thought, "do you need to leave sixty dollars for me to get supper with. It's not like I'd even hypothetically need more than thirty! I'd only need that much if I went to a fancy restaurant!"

"Oh well," Tomoyo then thought aloud. "At least I'll have enough for lunch now if I don't spend a lot. And I could go to the store and get some Midol then too."

Tomoyo walked over to her computer and pulled up the internet. She typed in the website address for a site called Lira Online. It was a site devoted to sewing, both cosplay and origional, and selling, one that Tomoyo hadn't loaded in months. She glanced up in the corner, she had fifteen new messages. She read them and typed her replys. Seven wanted to know if she was selling the costume that she'd taken pictures of and posted on there. Three others wanted to know how she was doing, they were friends that she had met. The last five were asking her if she was doing requests. She had responded to them that she was.

Most of the messages were sent within the past month. In all of her responses she had apologized for her leave of absence. She had told her friends that she was and had been just fine but on a small break.

She logged out and X'd off her internet page. Glancing at the time she put on her coat again and grabbed her courier bag. She pulled her school uniform from it and hung it in the closet, she'd iron it later to get the wrinkles out. That is, if she felt like it.

She walked down and carried her shoes down. She set them at the door and pulled a brush from her courier bag. She brushed out her hair for about two minutes and then put the brush back. Pulling on her coat she glanced outside, the sky looked grey and cloudy. She pulled on her shoes, grabbed her bag, stuffed a small umbrella into it, and walked outside. After locking the door behind her she headed towards a small café.

It was a favorite of hers and she knew that no one her mother knew would be working there at the time. She walked in and let the waiter lead her to a table. He brought her a menu and she ordered hot chocolate to drink and some noodle soup to eat.

The waiter looked at the girl. She looked to be still a girl in high school.

"Skipping school today?" he asked. He was surprised as the girl meekly nodded. Honestly, he thought she looked like she was going to cry. Her eyes were beautiful, but clouded over with sorrow. He smiled at her.

"I'll be back shortly with your order," he said. The girl made no sign of having heard him.

Returning to the kitchen he asked the cook to prepare the girl's noodles. It wasn't a busy day at the café. He walked over to the cocoa machine and filled her cup. He put in some whipped creme and walked back over to the girl. She looked sad, lost, like she needed some sense of security and something to hang on to.

"Hey," he said, getting the girl's attention while setting her cup of cocoa on the table. "I hope you enjoy it."

The girl thanked him and took a sip. "It's good," she said.

"Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm sorry, I've been a bad waiter, haven't I. I'm Sokuri, Kairen Sokuri."

"I'm Daidouji, Tomoyo Daidouji," the girl responded.

"Pleased to meet you, Daidouji-san. If you'll please excuse me for a moment I'll go and fetch your noodles." The waiter, Kairen, walked over to the kitchen where the chef was finishing putting the girl's noodles into the bowl.

Kairen carried the bowl of noodles over to Tomoyo, who accepted it with a nod.

Tomoyo herself was surprised. The young adult hadn't referred to her as the daughter of Sonomi Daidouji when he heard her name. Almost everyone that she had ever introduced herself to had instantly connected her to the daughter of Sonomi, as if she'd never be worth anything on her own, as if forever she'd only be the daughter of someone great.

"So do you need someone to talk to?" Kairen asked.

Tomoyo gazed at him, why would he care.

"You look confused, and earlier you looked so spaced out and confused, hurt. And you said you'd skipped school. You look like the one who fashions herself a model student with a mask on everyday even around her friends."

"How did you know?" she whispered, her voice sounding weak, and sounding helpless.

"Instinct," he replied. "Something's going wrong in your life and you're just hiding it, aren't you?"

Tomoyo stood and threw ten dollars onto the table, it would be enough to cover her meal and give the young man a good tip. She ran out of the café and to her house, sobbing. She didn't need him telling her how she was! She didn't even know him! She didn't need help, not from him, not from anyone! She didn't need his kindness! All she wanted was love from Eriol, it wasn't too much to ask! She ran home and slammed the door behind her as she entered her house. She kicked off her shoes and started running up the stairs. She felt herself falling as her stomach cramped up again. She laid on the stairs in agony, waiting for the pain to go away. It didn't.

She managed to crawl up the stairs, the minutes seemed like eternities. Finally she reached her room. She grabbed the doorknob and pulled herself up. Opening the door and walking into her room she collapsed onto the bed. She rolled over and looked at the clock, 2:01. She'd had a late lunch.

She could hear the clock's ticking. She could hear a lot. All the sounds of the town, all the sounds of everything. It annoyed her. She grabbed her Green Day CD and put it in her computer, she turned up the volume, filling her room with the sounds of _Holiday_.

**A/N: **Okay, the computer reads that I'm on page 6, something I haven't reached for a chapter in a long time. I feel proud of me! I used to aim for 6-8 pages/chapter. Then I started updating not as often and with shorter chapters, for that I apologize. I'm trying to get back to my old schedule, updates every few days and 6-8 paged chapters. So review to make me happy and encourage me. Oh, did I spell Daidouji correctly? ...

Well REVIEW! And THANKS for READING!


	23. False Alarm!

**Nanie: **I've got forensics tomorrow, don't have my piece memorized, so what am I doing, I'm typing an updat!

**Reviewers: **You totally rock, I thank you for your reviews, they make me feel so great, I've hit **100** reviews now for this story, it makes me feel so great!

**Disclaimer: **Card Captor Sakura doesn't belong to me, go figure, it belongs to CLAMP (so cheer for them and their wonderful manga). And again I don't own Green Day or Yuki Kajiura's Fiction. Nor do I own Mountain Dew, Memoirs of a Geisha, or Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon...

**Small Note: **Shereme is a thing I made up. It's basically peanut butter meltaways.

Also, I own The Jade Dragon (or at least, that's what it is currently). It's the book that I'm writing. It's not published yet, but it will be one day... maybe...

_Previously:_

_Tomoyo went home and her mother came. She hid and found out her mother had to work overtime. She went online for a bit, went for lunch and freaked out and ran from the café (poor Kairen, he must feel so bad...) Then she went and blasted Green Day's song _Holiday_ in her room._

**Chapter 23:** False Alarm!

Tomoyo finally turned off the music. Sighing she walked over to her closet and pulled out a dusty tote. Inside the tote was material, very much material. Pulling it out she began to sort through it, looking for the kimono fabric that she had in it. She'd work on Kiriai's request first. Kiriai wanted a kimono that "looked beautifully stunning", an obi, and a juban. She didn't specify any color but sent Tomoyo a picture of herself.

Finally deciding the material that she would use Tomoyo put the rest back in the tote. She carefully cut the silk, smiling occasionally at the precise rectangles of material that were lying on her floor to the right of her. It wasn't sewn yet but looked beautiful there with the sun shining on the fibers.

Feeling somewhat bored she took Green Day out of her computer and put Fiction in. She started cutting the silk again. It was soothing, cutting the silk. It was something that she hadn't done in a long time, and one of the few times that she worked with silk. Two hours later she had all the silk for the juban and for the kimono cut.

The kimono was dark purple. It had clouds on it and captured the image of a cloudy storm quite well. The clouds were white. There was no lightning on it, but the contrast of the white and purple alongside some greys made it look as if it were a brewing storm. It was quite lovely fabric.

The obi silk was a magnificent red with fans on it. The juban silk was a lavender color with a red design on it. It's collar was red.

Tomoyo carefully folded the material and set it inside a different tote. The tote had "IN PROGRESS" written across it in permanent marker.

Tomoyo usually didn't take requests. She did occasionally, but usually when she sew it was for Sakura, who often seemed annoyed with her costumes. In the tote there was another project of hers that she hadn't yet finished. It was a dress for Sakura, done in the Gothic Lolita style. It was black velvet with lace and other such. She knew Sakura would probably never wear it, that was half the reason that she didn't finish it. The other half of the reason was Eriol. With all that was going on because of him she hadn't felt in the mood to sew.

Sighing Tomoyo went over to her computer and pulled up the site again. After signing on she typed out a message to Kiriai. It read,

Kiriai,

Everything is in progress. I've got the material cut and it all looks wonderful so far. I'll send you another message as I get farther. I'll include the total cost in that message.

Tomoyo smiled as she clicked the "send" button. It was nice being able to actually do something she liked and have others appreciate it.

Perhaps, perhaps she'd sew the black dress for herself. Sakura would never appreciate it, but she would. She could sew Sakura a new dress, one with brighter colors, one that Sakura might consider wearing.

She glanced at the clock, it was 4:15. She walked away from her computer, leaving the web page up. She walked down to the kitchen, her stomach was still cramped up. After putting on her shoes she grabbed her coat off of the floor where she left it. She threw another Mountain Dew into her courier bag and left the house. It didn't matter who saw her now, if she saw one of her friends she'd just say she'd had been not feeling well that morning. Whoever else saw her probably wouldn't know she'd been skipping school.

Finally she reached Blitz, she didn't know why hadn't bought Midol there earlier, though she was going to now. She walked through the isle searching for it. Finally she found it. She walked through another isle and grabbed a box of Shereme. She walked up to the counter and watched as the old man came over. He smiled at her and rang up the two items.

She handed the man her money and then after taking her items headed out. She opened the box of Midol. Gratefully she pulled out her bottle of Mountain Dew and took the Midol with it.

"Now what do I do?" she thought. She had endless options opened up to her. She could go back home, she could go to the mall, she could go virtually anywhere. She sat down in an alleyway and pulled out her wallet. In it were some of her savings and the money from her mother. She counted it quickly. She had $87.75. She put her wallet back in her bag and walked towards the bus stop. She waited for the bus to come.

When it came she boarded it and payed her fare. She sat in the fifth seat back and pulled out her CD player and headphones. She listened to Gackt on the way to the mall. When the bus stopped at the mall stop she got off and thanked the bus driver. She looked at the sign by the bus stop. The next time a bus would pass by heading in the direction of her home would be 6:00. She pulled her watch out of her bag and slipped it on her wrist, she didn't want to miss the bus later. Until then she had two hours to kill at the mall.

Tomoyo walked into the mall. She was headed over to the ice cream vendor and bought herself a rainbow ice cream. Her friends would probably call it childish, and probably it was, but Tomoyo didn't care. As she ate her ice cream she walked towards the movie store. Perhaps she'd buy herself a DVD and watch it later. She sat on a bench outside the store while she finished her ice cream. After finishing it she walked into the store. Thirty-two dollars later she walked out carrying a bag with two dvd's in it; Memoirs of a Geisha, and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

She walked over to the bookstore. She looked around for a bit before a book caught her attention, it was called The Jade Dragon. Smiling she skimmed through the first few pages. It was a good story so far. She wandered through the manga section of the store. Many interested her. She felt content. She looked through many of them and then walked over to the fantasy section as she looked through other books there, full of mythical and magical lore. It didn't take her long to find a book that she felt the need to get also. She finally decided to get The Jade Dragon and a fantasy book. She walked over to the counter and checked out. Still happy she walked up to the food court.

She ordered rice and beef barley soup. She sat down to eat and sighed. Suddenly she didn't feel hungry. Actually she didn't feel as happy either. She ate a bit of her rice and soup and then threw the rest away. She didn't care. Let it go to waste, it's not like she was hungry anyway. She looked at the clock.

"Chikoshou!" she cursed aloud. "It's seven-freakin-o'clock!" She wanted to cry, so she did. She now had no way home! The bus wouldn't be stopping by again, her mom was completely out of town and wouldn't be coming home anytime soon, way after the mall would close, she couldn't phone a friend either! She didn't need a whole ride home being interrogated about why she was absent and then at the mall! And she definitely didn't want to walk home.

She walked towards the big elevator in the middle of the mall. The clock above it read only six o'clock. Was her watch off time? She ran towards the exit nearest the bus stop. She was out of breath when she made it to the bus stop, and the bus was there! Thankfully she climbed into it and payed her fare.

After sitting down she adjusted the time on her watch. She pulled out her CD player and listened to Gackt the whole way home. After arriving she kicked off her shoes at the door and threw her coat on the ground. She ran up the stairs to her room and into the adjoining bathroom. She turned the water to as hot as it would go, which was a good temperature, and then ran down the stairs to the kitchen. She put a pot of water on to boil. While it was heating she pulled two packets of hot cocoa mix out from the cupboard. She dumped the two packets into a big, insulated cup. She turned the teapot off before it started whistling and poured the hot water into the cup. She quickly added some chocolate milk to it and stirred the mixture. She then scooped the marshmallows up in her spoon and ate them. Smiling she put the lid on the cup and went back upstairs and turned the water off.

She took her clothes off and undid her hair. She stepped into the warm water. Smiling she sipped at her cocoa.

**A/N: **It's a really short chapter. I intended to make it longer, but I'm sick today and was sick yesterday and am not doing so well at the typing, I just erased a ½ page, so I'll make my next chapter longer (mayhap I shall try for 9 pages). But until then please forgiveth me, and review too! --


	24. One Moment to Regret It All

**Nanie:** And so, here is chapter 24! Though, its content isslightly maturer than the previous chapters', just a small warning... Oh! I edited chapters 2& 3, so that the paragraphs have a space between them. Sorry that they didn't before.

And thanks to everyone that's read and reviewed, you're all so great!

**Disclaimer: **Clamp owns Card Captor Sakura, not me.

_Previously:_

_Tomoyo goes through serious stomach cramping, goes to Blitz, and then went to the mall and came home..._ (Oh wow, not a lot there...)

**Chapter 24: One Moment to Regret It All**

"All it takes is one moment

for one to realize the truth he's been blinded from.

All it takes is one moment

to hurt someone and scar him forever.

All it takes

is one moment

to regret everything,"

she said to him.

"So don't waste your life foolishly,

make sure that you spend every day as if it were your last,

and don't ever use your power to harm someone

when you'll regret it later."

_The phone ran. He ignored it. It rang again, and again. Finally he picked up the phone. In shock and disbelief, he dropped it. He ran from the room, ran from the house._

_He ran the girl's house and knocked on the door. No answer. He knocked again. No answer. He opened the unlocked door and ran in. He ran up the stairs, an ominous feeling hanging over the house, and him. _Was it true?It couldn't possibly be true!_ He slowed, and walked a few paces down the hall, to a door. Silently he opened it, and screamed at the sight before him. Blood... on the floor... coming from her... and her... lying there... covered... in her own blood... looking almost... like an angel... He screamed again. _

_He fell, felt himself hit the floor. He screamed, again and again. Tears flooded from his eyes. He felt himself banging his fists against the floor. He didn't hear the noise in the background, he didn't see anything except the sight in front of him. He screamed again. His vision was clouded._

"_You killed her!" the voice was enraged._

"I didn't kill her!"_ he screamed. _"I didn't kill her!"

"_You killed her!"_

"I DIDN'T KILL HER!" Eriol screamed. He stood and mercilesslypunched the boy in front of him. "I DIDN'T KILL HER! IT WASN'T MY FAULT!"

"_You killed her," the boy said slowly, anger throughout his voice. "She loved you, always loved you! And you never realized! You only put her in more and more pain and never even took the time to realize that you were hurting her!" he screamed. "She was always there for you and all you did was hurt her more! She killed herself because of you! YOU KILLED HER!"_

"I DIDN'T KILL HER!" _Eriol screamed. He fell to the ground, sobbing, as the other boy pushed him._

"_Syaoran-kun!" screamed a girl, "stop it! Stop it, Syaoran-kun, stop it!"_

_Eriol's tried to stand and couldn't. Everything was going black. He tried to scream, but couldn't._

"_Is's been... fifteen years..." the azure haired boy said to himself, his grip tightening on the object in his hand, as he stared down at the grave, the grave that sat on the ground, marking where _she_ was buried. _

**Tomoyo Daidouji**

_Why did he never realize it then? Why did he never realize that she was hurting herself. He should have realized, after the first time that she was in the hospital over it. He should have realized that _he _was hurting her, and that as long as he was hurting her, she would be hurting herself. He had hurt her too much, he hated himself for it._

_Tears formed in his eyes. Why did he never realize it then, that he loved her, that he'd miss her when she was gone. He missed her so badly now. All he wanted was her, to hold her, to kiss her, to lie with her, to be loved by her. _

_He'd been asked out many times since that day, by many different girls, but his answer, ever since that day, had always been the same. He could never date another girl, could never laugh, or even be with a girl without feeling his heart's shattered pieces shattering._

"_It's been fifteen years," said a deep male voice from behind him. Eriol didn't turn._

"_I know," he found himself saying, saying to the boy that he'd only seen twice in fifteen years. The boy who hadn't forgiven him. "And if you've come to yell at me, then you may as well just leave." He was too depressed to fight. At the moment he didn't even care about anything it seemed._

"_No, I didn't come to yell at you. I came to say I was sorry. I should have done more, back then. I should have done something at all. It wasn't all your fault. I've just been... been too blinded by pain to realize what the truth was."_

"_You're damn right that it wasn't all my fault!" Eriol screamed. He felt rage, rage that he hadn't felt in a long time, coursing through his veins. "You never did anything! And you knew!" The other boy looked down. _

"_I know," Syaoran said, his gaze on the ground and sorrow in his voice. He deserved whatever Eriol said or did to him. He heard something and glanced up slightly. He acted quickly, without thinking. Reflexes from years of training took effect. He grabbed the blade of the katana that the other boy had attacked him with. Blood flowed from his hands where the sword had cut him._

"_Baka!" Syaoran shouted, before swearing at Eriol._

_Eriol felt even more rage and yanked the katana from the other boys' hands. He swung the katana at him repeatedly, not stopping even when he heard him screaming out in pain, screaming at him to stop. And then, the boy screamed no more. Eriol's eyes widened as he'd realized what he'd done._

"_Chikusou!" he screamed._

_He would never forgive himself, never. Syaoran was right, he had killed Tomoyo. The words his mother had said to him when he was little rang so clearly in his head now. He had been a fool, a complete fool. He took the blade, looked at his reflection on its bloodstained surface, and plunged it into himself. He felt so distant from everything that had happened. He was only vaguely aware of himself falling through the air. Everything seemed to be echoing through his mind at once. His mother's last words to him before she left, all the times he'd dated and thought he was truly in love, and all the pain he'd felt. A calm, soothing darkness fell over him as he committed the act that he had came to do. Rain fell from the sky above. Then everything went black._

**A/N: **Don't hate me, don't hate me, don't hate me! Just read the next chapter, onegai! Domo arigato gozaimasu for reading (and please review too!) And sorry that the chapter was so short, gomen nasai! The next chapter will be much longer, I swear it!


	25. Breakdown

**Nanie: **I've killed off three of my characters! Buah ha ha ha ha ha ha! Please don't hate me over the last chapter, please!

**Disclaimer: **The wonderful group of four girls called Clamp own Card Captor Sakura, I do not.

**Reviewers: **Thank you all so much! I've got so many reviews and hits on this story now and it makes me feel great! Sorry for taking so long to update!

_Previously:_

_Tomoyo no _jisatsu_. Eriol no kurushimi. Eriol no hensetsu. Syaoran no shikyo. Eriol no _jisatsu

**Chapter 25: Breakdown**

Eriol woke with a start. Sweat covered his body and soaked his pajamas. The clock read 3:45 A.M. He was shaking. "It... it was... just a dream," he shakily repeated to himself.

He was scared, scared with his whole body and all his mind. She loved him, it was just dawning on him now, she loved him, she loved him for so long. And now, just now he was realizing it, he loved her. He was longing for her, he needed to hold her, needed to know that she was all right, he needed to be with her.

The way he felt was almost trance-like. His body was tired, but his mind was racing, he was scared. She could be hurt, what if she was dead? He couldn't call her. He fluidly got up and stumbled out of is room and down the stairs. He staggered through the downstairs and over to the door. He opened it and ran out into the darkness.

Sharp rocks pierced through the skin of his bare feet, yet Eriol didn't notice. All he could do was run, run to her. The air was cold, and yet he noticed not that either. He ran in a daze, only half aware of what was going on around him and only half aware of where he was going.

He pounded his fist on the door before he even realized that he was there. He heart beat echoed through his head and his breathing rang heavily in his ears. He knocked again, but still no answer. Tiredness consumed him and his legs collapsed, leaving him sitting on the cold stone steps that led to the door.

He leaned against the door and closed his eyes. Images of Tomoyo, hurt, bleeding, and dead filled his mind. He opened his eyes, he couldn't bear it, the pain. Why had he been so stupid! Surely he must have hurt her badly. He hit his fists off the ground, not caring about the skin that he was ripping up.

He was shaking. He got up, his mind wandering and completely detached from his body and the world around him. He didn't hear the car horn honking as he crossed the road. He only but vaguely realized when he arrived home. Slowly he walked into the house. He took of his pajama shirt and hung it where he'd hang his coat, in his mind it was his coat. He felt himself slipping and falling down. After he hit the floor he closed his eyes, he'd get up in a minute or two.

When Nakuru walked down in the morning what she saw was most definitely what she least expected to see. Eriol, half naked wearing only his pajama pants (and presumably his boxers also...), was lying on the floor. His feet and hands were cut, and his shirt was hanging up next to his coat. The front door was open, though the screen door was closed. She knelt down and pressed the back of her hand to the boy's forehead, it was quite hot, a contrast to the room, which from the open door was quite cold. Sighing she picked the boy up. He had, most definitely, gained weight since she had last picked him up when he was much younger.

She carried the boy up the stairs, down the hall, and to his room. Carefully she set him on his bed and pulled the covers up and over his bare chest. "Well," she said to herself, "he's certainly not making school today."

The boy groaned in his sleep as he rolled over. His once dreamless sleep was now not dreamless._ He was running, through the darkened halls at school, chasing Tomoyo. Tomoyo was hovering a few inches above the ground, moving backwards, crying, holding her hand out to him..._

Tomoyo, meanwhile, was running through the halls at school late as could possibly be for her first class. Her night had been okay, she'd managed to go without cutting herself and she'd managed to sleep well, all too well. She drempt about Eriol, with her, holding her, loving her, her lying beside him, her head against his bare chest... She'd woken up suddenly around the time that everyone else would be in homeroom and then bolted out of bed. She'd quickly gotten dressed, her school uniform was still wrinkled and crooked, but none-the-less she was wearing it, and then jumped down half a flight of stairs and headed off to school. She'd completely skipped breakfast and was now feeling the pangs of hunger and stomach cramping in her stomach.

Breathing heavily she walked into her first period class and nodded at the teacher. She sat in the back of the room in her desk, her eyes scanning the room, searching for her beloved. He wasn't there, his desk was empty. Was something wrong? He almost never missed school. Was he sick? Did he catch the flu? Or did something come up in his family? Was Nakuru sick?

"Tomoyo!"

Tomoyo's head snapped up as she finally realized that the teacher was talking to her.

"Well?"

"Umm..." Tomoyo bit her lip nervously. "42?" she guessed, not knowing what the teacher had asked or even remembering that she wasn't in algebra. The class laughed.

"You'll have to stay after class and talk with me, Daidouji-san. You can't be daydreaming like that during class, do you understand?"

Tomoyo nodded her head meekly, but even as she did so she could feel her mind wandering again. The bell rang and class was over before she even realized it. She walked up to the teacher's desk, her stomach knotting in dread.

"Daidouji-san," the teacher began, "it's not like you to be nodding off in class like that. Really, I'm quite worried about you. Is everything all right?"

Tomoyo nodded her head. "Yes," she whispered.

"Well then, I do expect you to pay attention in my class, and remember, I'm not teaching you algebra. If you're going to make random guesses at least make sure they relate to the history unit that we're studying."

Tomoyo had been looking down, focusing her eyes on her shoes. She nodded again. The teacher sighed.

"You may go now. Here, I'll write you a pass."

Tomoyo took the pass from her teacher and looked at it, the slot for the time wasn't filled in. He didn't seem to notice so...

Tomoyo wandered down the hall to the girls bathroom, walked into the biggest stall, and pulled out a small razor blade from her purse. Carefully she cut her arm and let the blood flow down it to calm herself. After a few calming minutes she washed her arm and then placed a band-aid over the cut. She then washed the razor, wrapped it in a tissue and put it in her purse.

She glanced at her watch and wrote the time into the time slot on her late pass. She then left the bathroom and proceeded to walk to class. She longed to cut herself again as her worry and fear came back to her. She longed to run from the school and to his mansion, though reasoned against it. If she did her mother would surely find out, and then she'd be in trouble for skipping school and her mother might find out about her cutting, or make her go to a psychiatrist, both were gloomy outlooks.

Somehow, though she didn't know how, she managed to make it through the first part of the day and to lunch. She skipped lunch and spent that time in the bathroom on the other side of the school, watching the blood flow from her wrist.

She then made it through the rest of the day, looking as though she were paying attention and reading from her book while her mind was actually far, far away.

For how short the day seemed it also seemed long, as if seconds were hours. Tomoyo had watched the bus coming and decided to skip it, she didn't want to see Kai, at all.

She didn't want to worry her mother, but she figured it this way, her mother would be out until late anyway, so she could go to Eriol's on her way home from school and as long as she got home before her mother did all would be well.

Despite her stomach cramps she managed to make it to Eriol's house quick enough. She'd been only just running with joy moments before but now she stood looking at the door in dread anticipation and anxiety. She shakily raised her hand and knocked on the door.

It was as if her senses suddenly sharpened. She could hear her heart beating, could hear all the sounds of everything around her, and could hear the sounds of someone coming to the door and unlatching the inside one. She wanted to run, tried to run, but her legs stayed firmly in their place, as if made of lead and glued there. She wanted to scream but no sound would come out of her mouth. She wanted to be anywhere but there, but yet there she was, with the door to destiny opening in front of her.

She was greeted cheerily by Nakuru, who hadn't seemed to notice anything different about Tomoyo. She was talking to Tomoyo, though it was as if Tomoyo didn't hear her words, she just dropped her stuff to the floor and numbly followed her up to Eriol's room.

She silently opened the door a crack and peeked inside. She could see the bed and the faint outline of a person under the covers. She carefully and slowly opened the door and walked in to the room. She closed the door behind her and walked over to the bed. She stared down at the boy's face, he was sleeping, restlessly sleeping. She sat down beside him on the bed and stroked his bangs off of his forehead. He seemed almost slightly calmer. He rolled over, and she noticed that he was shirtless. She blushed. She'd never seen Eriol shirtless before.

She carefully moved over him to the other side of the bed so that his back was to her. She began to massage his back gently. His skin felt hot, feverish hot. The blush on her faced deepened slightly as she ran her hands over his bare back. He seemed to be calming. Finally, once he was sleeping peacefully, she stopped. Her hands felt almost tingly and she glanced at her watch, she'd been there for an hour and had had neither breakfast or lunch. She rose from the bed and walked around it to the door, turning the knob and opening it once in range. After looking back at the peacefully sleeping boy she left the room and closed the door behind her. Silently she crept down the stairs, gathered up her stuff, and exited the house into the brisk air.

She didn't know how long it took for her to get home. She walked through the door and began to sob. She didn't know why, she didn't care why. All she knew was that it hurt. Everything hurt, her head hurt, her arms hurt, her stomach hurt, her legs hurt, she wanted to fall into unconsciousness then and there. Her wish was not granted. She made her way up to her room, threw off most of her clothes and fell to her bed sobbing. Eventually a cold blackness fell over her as she drifted off into sleep.

**Nanie: **So does anybody happen to know what season the story's in? I know that I should know, but I forgot and don't feel like looking over 24 chapters to find out tonight. (And yes, It's almost 11:30 (pm) and I'm here slaving away in front of my computer typing this chapter instead of studying my chemistry notes or spanish notes... Please review, and thanks for reading!

**Japanese words: **

jisatsu- suicide

kurushimi- pain/ suffering

hensetsu- betrayal

shikyo- death


	26. Caught in Illusion

**A/N:** It's been awhile since I've typed on this, I'm sorry. I've been... lost in a sense. Confused, trying to find acceptance and belonging at school while being bullied every day. It's been rough, I'm failing Chemistry again, but think I've finally found some steady ground so...

**Disclaimer: **I don't own CCS, you don't own CCS, Clamp owns CCS. Nor do I own the excerpt from the Evanescence song Whisper. I also claim no ownership of the anime Witch Hunter Robin. Tomoyo's warped dream of the coat, now that's mine, even if it was based upon something that isn't and never shall be mine.

_Previously:_

_Eriol spend the night out in the cold running to Tomoyo's, he caught a cold due to so. Tomoyo's starting to cut herself more (Somebody Save Her, Eriol Do Something!) and she visited Eriol. In the last paragraph she was crying in pain on her bed where she fell asleep._

_The story must go on, and now the story continues..._

**Slight Warning:** This chapter contains a bit more mature content than previous chapters. Slight sexual content to be more specific as to what.

**Chapter 26:** Caught in Illusion

Utter darkness filled the room, and in the eerie silence Tomoyo awoke. For the past six days she hadn't been sleeping well. It was already the second time that she had awoken that night.

She tried to blink the horrid thoughts out of her mind. She glanced at the clock, 2:45 A. M. She'd only been asleep for an hour and 24 minutes. Numbly she reached over and grabbed one of the CD cases and her CD player off of her nightstand. Her mind processed her thoughts slowly as she slipped the CD from its case to her hand and then to her CD player. Only vaguely aware that she was doing so she slipped the headphones onto her ears and pressed the "on" and "play" buttons.

"_Don't turn away, don't give into the pain,_

_Don't try to hide, though they're screaming your name,_

_Don't close your eyes, God knows what lies behind them,_

_Don't turn out the light, never sleep never die._.."

And to the sounds of Evanescence's Whisper blackness again consumed her.

Though her peace, like innocense, was short lasting. At 3:30 she woke again to realize that she was not falling down and down and that she did not hit the ground, that demons were not at her side, clawing and biting at her.

Slowly she rose, walking in but a dreamlike state, giving up on getting more sleep that day. Her body functioning on autopilot she walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Somehow she managed to make herself a cup of black tea, to which she added three teaspoons of sugar.

Sitting down on a couch in the living room she held the cup in her hands, letting its warmth seep into her hands. Finally she took a sip, savoring the flavor and letting it warm her veins.

Images, horrid images, of pain, death, murder, blood, and demons filled her mind as she tried yet again to push them away. And then there was her dreams of that night.

First she had been running... running down stairs... and then she fell. Some stairs were longer than others, after a few flips she landed on one of those in pain. Eriol... he had been ahead of her... but he was there with her then, offering his hand to help her up... And then... then they were lying together, on the ground, at the bottom of the stairs, her on top of him. She was in her school uniform, and he in a long, fur lined coat, similar to ones she'd seen in the anime Witch Hunter Robin earlier that week. She tried harder to for the next part from her mind, her hugging him close, her head against his neck, him whispering into her ear for permission, and her giving it... his hand... reaching up her skirt, touching her... And then him telling her that he could never love her the way she loved him... And then he gave her his coat, said that she must be cold and that he could keep himself warm. Then she was in her house, in the living room, holding his coat, then wearing it, it's warmth around her...

Tomoyo shuddered. How could she dream something like that? Just because she liked him didn't mean that she'd let him do stuff to her, did it? What would she do if it happened... in reality? She took another sip of tea. Her second dream... she had watched her cut herself, watched her mother walk in on her as she did it, watched her mother internally screaming, internally filling with pain, yet consuming it all somehow and just walking away, abandoning her. She was locked away, locked in a metal room with no doors and only a small, barred window. There had been demons outside the window, she was supposed to fight them... They had entered, and she couldn't ward them off, the were biting into her flesh, turning into vampires, and drinking her blood. She had felt life draining from her, warmth leaving her, her vision blurring, and then death coming as she awoke. At least it hadn't been as bad as the first dream.

Finally there was her last dream, she took another sip of tea, as if to ward away the thoughts of it. She was running, being chased, as the ground became the sky and the sky the ground. She ran upside down and right side up, being chased by demons with Kai-like faces. And then she was at the edge of the cliff, running through the thorny hedges that tore at her clothing and blocked off the edge. She reached the edge, forced herself to stop, screamed at the sight of the oncoming demons as she turned around, and screamed in shock as one with the face of Eriol with fangs and clawed hands pushed her off. She tried to grab out as she fell, but branches were only there for her to land upon and break a rib, as leaves she touched turned to snakes and bit her. As she fell even more pain came to her, as winged and nonwinged demons were at her side, biting at her, clawing at her, cursing at her, and killing her.

Tomoyo took a gulp of tea, feeling the sudden heat burn her throat. She didn't want to get up, she didn't want to move, all she wanted to do was look ahead, stare blankly at the darkness infront of her. She only barely noticed the darkness turning into light and the sound of her alarm clock ringing loud enough in her room to be heard down below where she was.

She blinked, twice, and slowly stood, her legs giving out beneath her at first, and then holding her weight. Shakily she made her way up to her room, tiredness from her lack of sleep the night before now truly upon her. She grabbed a bottle of Mountain Dew from on her dresser and drank a few gulps. Over the past week she'd gotten so little sleep and came to rely upon the caffeine in Mountain Dew to the point that she was completely addicted to it and could not go without it.

Still in her haze she pulled off her pajamas and her school uniform. Blankly she stared into the mirror as she did her hair, both seeing and yet not seeing. She wanted to sleep, so badly she wanted to sleep. The bed was inviting her to it. Swaying she made her way forward towards it. Gently she laid herself down upon it, embracing her pillow as though it were another body of warmth. She caressed it lightly, as though it were her beloved there beside her, and gently she held him, stroking her hand through his hair. Softly she pressed her lips to his, the fantasy sensation that she'd so been dreaming of lasting for but only a minute felt like days. Now the demons were gone from her mind, the hurt gone away, the blade now useless. More and more she hugged him, embracing him close to her, his warmth fulfilling her to the core. Again and again she kissed him, each kiss deep, long, and passionate. Her hands caressed through his hair more as she tasted each of his kisses. She felt his hands on her skin, warm, holding her in forever's embrace, and slowly she sank farther into desire. She wanted him forever, for forever and eternity.

Never before had she felt such burning desire, never before had she tasted such passion, and now that she had it she only wanted more. Vainly she fought to stay with him, futilely she clung to what was not there, pressing her lips to the nothingness, caressing only air.

**A/N: **The last part was confusing, ne? Basically Tomoyo reached a point of over-tiredness. When she lies down she falls into a sleep-like state, of both conscienceness and unconscienceness, her reality being confused with dream, illusion, and the innerworking of the mind and imagination.

I'll try to update sooner this time. Thanks for reading! Review please!


	27. Resolution Making

**A/N:** So I got inspiration last night (a new idea, hehehe) and so hopefully I remember enough of it to work it into this chapter.

**My Dear Reviewers: **I thank you so much for coming back to read and for reading for the first time in one case. I also thank you for your support, I did confront my bullies and they for a time left me alone, and school's out now so I'm pretty good off. Oh, I'm sixteen years old now!

**Please:** Two days ago a boy named Neil died in an accident. Neil, my cousin, and myself used to hang out together. And so I'd like to ask you, if you're at all religious, _please_ pray for him. I didn't talk with him much, actually, I hadn't talked with him in over a year, but he used to play Magic cards with my cousin. I was never good at Magic... So I'd play DDR and my cousin would do both at once.

**Disclaimer: **((eh he... nearly forgot this ...)) I don't own Card Captor Sakura, but I do know a girl that's nicknamed Sakura and she's totally awesome!

_Previously:_

_Tomoyo's dreams have been horrid, but then she has the dream that for a time fulfills her longing desires._

**Chapter 27: Resolution Making with a Movie for the Slaughter**

She had missed the beginning of school, slept through until noon. Somehow she felt refreshed, alive, ready to go to school. So she did what before she wouldn't have had the strength to do; she ironed her uniform, got re-dressed, braided her long hair, brushed her teeth, ate lunch, and then walked to school.

She walked through the front door of the school with her head held high and a smile upon her cheerful face. She walked into the office for a pass to go to class, said that she had gotten bad sleep and just slept in, and then headed up to her locker.

Two minutes later she was feeling slightly nervous as she walked into her seventh period classroom. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw Eriol, looking as handsome as ever, smiling at her. She practically skipped over to the teacher as she gave him her late pass. Before she knew it the school day was over. Two more periods had passed in the blink of a lovesick eye belonging to a cheerful lovesick girl. And happily she hopped onto the bus and plopped down into an empty seat.

She sighed and closed her eyes, imaging again the feel of his lips against hers. It may have only been imaginary, a fantasy dream demented to her obscure liking, but it had left for her an endless sensation. So lost in her dreams was she that Tomoyo barely noticed the rough hand caressing hers.

Her eyes jerked opened as she realized that _he_ was sitting beside her, that he was caressing her hand, and that she was cornered between him and the bus wall. Startled she jerked her hand away from him quickly.

"Hey, calm down, would you sweetie?" Kai chuckled. "You're uptight today. So where've you been? I missed you baby."

Tomoyo inhaled shaky breaths, trying to calm herself.

"No need to panic, sorry that I startled you. Were you sleeping?"

Tomoyo nodded her head numbly. Why did he have to come and sit by her? Why couldn't he leave her alone? She was mainly nonresponsive for the rest of the way to her bus stop. He was caressing her hand and occasionally her cheek, she wanted to slap him, wanted to hurt him for ruining her fantasy, for making her feel this way.

As she ran into her house she had to stop the tears from flooding her eyes.

"Hi honey!" her mother called out to her.

"Hi mom!" Tomoyo shouted back. "I'll be right back down, I'm gonna go get changed, kay?" Tomoyo ran up to her room and knocked the CD of the W-inds off of her nightstand and pulled the one of Gackt off. The more she heard his voice the more she loved it, and now she needed its soothingness. She briefly thought of the razor blade but tossed the thought from her mind, she didn't need it. She wasn't dependant upon it.

Hurriedly to the calming music of Camui Gackt she pulled off her school uniform and dressed herself in black pants and a blue t-shirt. Tomoyo unbraided her hair and ran her fingers through it, pulling out a few small knots. Then she pulled it up into odangos and tied blue ribbons around them.

She walked down to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of white grape juice.

"Hey Tomoyo honey," her mom began, "I know I haven't been around in a while, so let's go to the movies together! We can watch two, one that you want an one that I want."

Tomoyo smiled. "Sure mom, I wanna see the new James Bond movie!"

Her mother laughed. "So we'll watch that one and the one I want, which will be a surprise!"

Tomoyo put on a pouty face as she looked at her mother. "But I wanna know what it is..."

"The fun is in not knowing!"

Tomoyo smiled at her mother's comment, she was right. "So when are we going?"

"In one hour!" her mother happily exclaimed. "So if you need to shower before we leave and want to change into a different outfit you'd better get at it!"

The teenage ran up the stairs. She'd keep her outfit, but a shower was sounding like a good idea. She hummed happily to herself as she showered, letting the cool water run over her skin refreshing her. She'd decided something, she wasn't going to let Kai make her feel bad!

An hour later Tomoyo walked with her mother into the theater, with tickets in her hand for the new James Bond movie and for Moon Child, a movie with both Gackt and Hyde in it.

When she walked into the viewing room her breath caught in her chest as she saw who was also sitting in it.

**A/N: **Sorry that it's so short (and that the chapter title is weird...). I was going to make it longer, but I started it and then left it sit for a month, and then just started typing on it again today.

_And so the question is, will Tomoyo stick to her resolution to not let Kai make her feel bad, or will things unhappily crash down and crush her. Can she rise above the pain, sorrow, and suffering of her life to become the new Buddha (or at least "normal"), or will this pain of hers lead her to the grave?_

_Find out in the next chapters of_ Shattered and Shattered Again_, see you then!_


End file.
